Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

worried about daughter and school

2 replies

HammerToFall · 22/04/2015 13:40

Im really concerned about dd and school. Dd is nearly seven and in year two. She has never had any time off until just before the easter holidays when she was off ill for a week with a nasty virus. Since she went back it has been a nightmare. She starts when she goes to bed screaming and crying she doesnt want to go, this goes on till she eventually falls asleep at about half eleven, then starts again at fiveish the next morning.

When we get to school, she cries and refuses to go in, I have to physically take her in, hand her to a teacher and leave.

It has started gettting worse over the past few days, it is getting harder and harder to get in her in, and while she is at school she is crossing her arms, pouting and stamping her feet at the teachers and shouting get me my mum now, refusing to engage in activities, eat her lunch or anything.

Me and dh have spoken to her extensively about this, at first she was saying things like her friends wont play with her, she cant do the work etc all of which arent true, we have been into school a few times and they have said she has loads of friends she just refuses to play with any of them. She quite behind for her year but always been and it has never bothered her before, they dont make a big deal of it neither do we.

A few of the teachers, dinner ladies etc and the head have spoken to her and asked what the problem is but she just says she misses me and nothing else. I just dont know what to do. Ive tried talking to her, taking things off her, ignoring the crying, being sympathetic but nothing works.

we are all shattered including ds who is 9 and hasnt had a good nights sleep since the easter holidays because of the tantrums on a night and we are all miserable because of it.

I dont know whether she is trying it on or there is something more serious afoot!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
KatyN · 23/04/2015 07:53

Does she understand that legally she has to go? can you explain (in appropriate language) that you would get told off if she doesn't go? Maybe after the week at home she thinks being at home with you is much nicer (as I'm sure it is!)
If she is really missing you, maybe give her something to take to school to hold when she misses you, a ribbon to tie to her school bag or a key ring or something? Maybe spray your perfume onto her school jumper?

It's not the same scale but my 3 year old has been convinced that I'm cuddling him all day by wearing a jumper we bought together. when he misses me, he can have a quick squeeze and get back to the day.

good luck,
k

Jinglebellsarenearlyhere · 23/04/2015 08:12

School refusing is a 'thing'. The school should have policies and things in place. My daughter had a phase of this in year 5. What worked for us was to sit with her during the tantrums / crying and nod and go mmmm quite a bit but not engage or discuss. The same in the morning. Then we made it her choice but if she decided she was not going in to school SHE has to call the head and tell her. At school they talked to her, gave her permission to leave class to see the pastoral care person if she felt she needed space etc etc.

It is a horrid, stressful time But there is a way through.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page