Advice please-frazzled mum

[Rachyw1986]

Hello!

My post maybe a long one so I apologise in advance. My LG is 6 weeks today. For the first 3 weeks of her life she was "text book" slept all day and all night. Woke in the night for a feed and went straight back to sleep. She would happily sit in her bouncer or lay on her playmat no problem. This would leave me free to do house work and shower.

Now the last 3 weeks since daddy has been back at work has been absolutely horrendous. She won't sleep in the day and won't be content so unless I'm picking her up then she is crying. I can't even shower.
Night times she sleep 2/3/4 hours depending on when she wakes. This is because she will for love nor money, not go back down to sleep.
She is colicky and suffering from reflux.
I'm in bits everytime my husband gets home and can't stop crying. I can survive in 2/3/4 hours sleep every 24 hours so I don't know how age is doing it.
Thing is my husband thinks I'm exaggerating because when he's at home during the weekend, yes she cries a lot in the day and won't just "be" but she sleeps! He does the night shift and always ends up with a good 6 or 7 hours sleep albeit broken.

I'm at my wits end and can't keep going through this cycle. In so run down I'm getting every cold add illness and look a mess. I just want our content baby back!

I think I've tried most thing. I look forward to any replies!
Xx

Cant*

Have you got a sling? If not get one, they're great for refluxy babies as it keeps them upright. Then get out of the house and get some fresh air, whatever state you're in. Hopefully the baby will fall asleep in the sling, then you can have a peaceful walk round the park/shops and get some headspace.
It is so hard, sympathies. My dd was like this and the memory still makes me shudder. You just have to find ways of coping (I just carried her everywhere in the sling, as long as I was moving she was happy, I had to kind of gently bounce while getting lunch ready....!). It might be just a phase, but if she continues to be the same I recommend reading anything by Dr Sears on 'high needs babies' - the 'fussy baby book' by him is great.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but she's being ' textbook ' now. Young babies have very different sleeping patterns to adults. It's very hard going, but normal. Changing your perception of what ' normal ' baby sleep is ia so important and helpful. I recommend The Gentle Sleep Book, and second the sling recommendation. It does get better, with time.

Hi there!

Yes I do have a sling and she is in it a lot as I just need some quiet time now and again! Luckily touch wood she goes into a nice deep sleep!
I just don't understand why she does things for her dad and not me. Surely she's far to young to know this kind of behaviour already! I'm absolutely zombie-fied!

How long did it last with your DD?
Thank you!

Totally normal behaviour

Newborns tend to take a few weeks to 'wake up' then you spend the next year trying to put them to sleep!

I agree adjusting your expectations is key, although becoming a parent does take time to get used to. I mourned my pre-parent life for ages and used to fantasise about having a long hot shower. In a few weeks it will be a bit easier, six weeks is still very small.

If reflux make sure her head is always above her stomach - fold a towel under her mattress - its giving her heartburn. Same for nappy change. Dont lie down flat ever.

I could have written this.
My 10 week old dd was a dream for the first 2-3 weeks then the reflux hit. It's been awful and I've been in pieces. Screaming constantly, won't be consoled etc. the sling has been a godsend. I find it's worse when she's also going through a 'leap' too. Try downloaded the wonder weeks app - it helps to know what they're doing is normal and that you have good weeks and bad as they go through leaps.

It's hard going but it does get easier as they get bigger. Xx

I could have written this a few weeks ago. I agree that what you are experiencing is textbook baby behaviour

Get out for some fresh air, I found that really helped. Keep busy by going out and about even if it's just a walk to the corner shop.

Embrace the sitting on the sofa watching TV phase, my baby doesn't want to do it anymore and I wish I'd appreciated it more!

By 10/11 weeks my baby seemed much more settled, her colic was better and things definitely got a bit easier.

Keep remembering the famous phrase 'this too will pass'

Hope you feel better soon!

Yes, totally normal behaviour. It DOES get better. But I'm sorry for you feeling so frazzled.

Mine were colicky and things definitely improved around 10/11 weeks. but that must feel an age away. Listen to advice from folk with experience of reflux - can you talk to your HV?

I could only shower when mine were in the bathroom in a swing. Have you got one? They're often going cheap on 'facebook selling pages' etc. Doesn't work for all babies but helped mine, and she will at least be upright if she has reflux.

I also meant to say if your husband can get her to settle back to sleep at night have you watched what he does, it might only be a subtle difference but worth looking at?

OP I'm not sure you want to know how long it lasted! My poor dd just seemed to hate being a baby, I found the first 18 months unspeakably hard. She was so much happier when she learned how to talk and could communicate better, and from about 2 she's been a great sleeper (well, at nighttime, we never cracked daytime naps unless she was in the sling/pushchair/car continuously moving...!). She's now a lovely, affectionate, bright 4 year old, though she is sensitive and highly strung and can still have spectacular meltdowns. I have a younger ds now, who's been much more laid back from the start. I'm thankful I went through so much with dd though - we have a great bond, and it made me try things like babywearing, cosleeping and breastfeeding for longer than i ever intended, which I found I loved and that ds has benefited from too. Saying all that, many small babies have a colicky phase that doesn't last long at all, fingers crossed!