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Original poster

When and how to drop dummies?

8 replies

Linguaphile · 18/04/2015 20:30

Our 19-month-old twins are generally pretty good about dummy use as they are only allowed them for sleep, but recently it's been getting worse. They each now feel the need to have two dummies for going to sleep (one in the mouth, one as a backup, and they freak out if you try to clip it on) and they have started to my horror waking up in the night when they lose one. What is causing this behaviour (it started a few weeks ago after we got back from holiday), and does it mean it's time to ditch the dummies?

I tried this evening to put them down with just their lovies and blankies, but they both screamed and screamed for about half an hour until I finally went in and relented. Is 18 months a particularly bad time to wean from dummies? If so, when is the best time to do so? They're still too young to understand what's going on, so the whole 'dummy fairy' thing wouldn't really work right now I don't think.

Anyone have experience in this and want to shed some light on the subject?

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globetrotter141 · 18/04/2015 22:04

I just ditched the dummies with my 3 yr old. I wouldn't worry at about it at all at this stage. They're still v young though I know it can be a pain if they lose them in the night but if you leave a few in the cots they might find them? Honestly, I was always worried about ds being v addicted to his dummy but getting rid of it when he was 3 and ready was so easy I couldn't believe it! It makes such a difference when they can understand more and you can do the dummy fairy thing. Oh and up until we got rid he went to bed with 1 in his mouth and 1 in each hand!

Pippidoeswhatshewants · 18/04/2015 22:12

My dcs are both early summer born. Dummies were given to the Easter bunny the year of their 3rd birthday, in exchange for Easter eggs. Went swimmingly both times.
In the meantime I'm afraid the answer is multiple backup dummies.

karinmaria · 18/04/2015 22:15

My DS is 2 and still has a dummy for sleep. He will ask for it if he is not feeling well or is teething but knows it is not allowed. We will get rid of it when all his teeth are through. Probably swap it for something. Teething is markedly better when he has his dummy and as I work FT I need all the sleep I can get!

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Passmethecrisps · 18/04/2015 22:17

You have my complete sympathy. When my dd was the same age as your dts I thought we were weaning off but as she gets older she gets more attached.

We tried insisting that it was for sleepy time which was ok but then she would have teeth or be similarly poorly so have it all the time which just compounded the problem.

We introduced the notion of a fairy whicj was well-recieved. Cm and nursery staff were all on board but she seems to have got wise to it and it causes massive issues if someone presses the issue.

Right now at dd 2.5 yo I am choosing to ignore and not get bothered. I ask her for it for safe keeping if we are playing and I insist that she removes it when talking. Other than that I am hoping she will get bored herself

HubrisNemesis · 18/04/2015 22:25

Leave it until they are old enough for negotiation, assuming they just have them for sleep, would be my advice. They'll probably get through the waking up when they lose them at night phase. My son just gave his up for a toy brought by the dummy fairy at about a month short of three, and it was completely unproblematic.

lexyloub · 18/04/2015 22:39

Both mine were 3 when we ditched the dummy we went straight cold turkey their understanding is much better at that age they was both fairly easy with it I suspect I mightve been harder at 19 mth. Think it was more heart wrenching for me than them to bin the dummies.

Dasie · 18/04/2015 22:49

When my DD was 3 Santa took her dummy away with him and left her a special dummy gift, worked a treat! My sister used the birth of my DS to get my DN to give her new baby cousin her dummies to use, also aged 3. On a side note look up sleeptot/sleepytot (can't remember which exactly)bunny on amazon for a soft toy for bed that has Velcro fasteners on arms and legs for the dummy, brilliant for preventing those middle of the night dummy hunts

FATEdestiny · 18/04/2015 22:53

To add to the chorus of agreement above, wait until you can bribe and negotiate to stop using the dummy - 3 to 5 years old, depends on the child.

Once you can negotiate and bribe, it really isn't any hassle at all to stop using a dummy. If the child is distressed without the dummy, it suggests they still need the comfort. When they don't, offering something special in return for no dummies will mean the process happens through the childs choice and so without tears.

What I would do though is restrict the dummies to be used in the cot only - so only for sleep time. We started that at around 18 months old.

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