Porn, why is nothing being done???

[Sews230]

Good afternoon peeps, those of you who are concerned about your children seeing porn might have heard that last November the government banned a big list of sex acts that could be shown in UK Porn:
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/uk-porn-legislation-what-is-now-banned-under-new-government-laws-9898541.html

Great, you might think, it's a start you might think, unfortunately you'd be wrong, the UK Porn industry is tiny and to view any of its content you have to pass an age verification process and have a credit card, not something that most children can do and why would they even try? If they really want to look at porn all they need to do is go to free "Tube" sites that have all the hardcore porn you really don't want to imagine, for free!!

I've been talking to a few computer geeks (an affectionate term) on my course and they tell me that nobody pays for porn anymore, all the porn people want is free and extremely easy to find, all the sex acts now banned in UK porn are there and more, rape, forced sex, choking, school girls, revenge porn etc, all on tube sites like Xhamster, youporn, pornhub, porn-spider (don't look at them unless you are made of really steely stuff, those sites are really repulsive).

What the government has done with these laws is like banning cigarettes whilst letting people stand on street corners giving them away for free, it makes no sense, when are they going to do something about the free sites??? Articles like this scare the bejesus out of me, what are these sites doing to our society, our children etc, I shudder when I think about my two looking at this stuff... www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/most-young-people-agree-that-porn-creates-unrealistic-views-of-sex--but-they-still-admit-watching-it-9679160.html

www.independent.co.uk/news/people/anne-robinson-watches-porn-for-the-first-time-he-could-really-be-pounding-some-pastry-10180656.html?icn=puff-3

In my opinion the government need to ban these sites, block them from entering this country (they are all from oversees) force the ISP's (internet service providers) to block people from seeing them, you might have heard recently that various illegal download sites (for films and music) like Piratebay have been banned in this country (following lobbying from big business), and while there are ways of getting around these blocks, what I'm told these bans do is make going to these sites a hell of a lot more difficult, and if you don't have the computer know-how you simply can't visit them anymore.

Now I know that this government is always keen to help big business but this is a more important issue than film and music copyright, this is about our children/nation being corrupted, children thinking that the attitudes displayed in porn are the norm, I heard on the new a few weeks back that it's common place for children as young as ten to send naked pictures to each other before they start dating, sickening, how has it been allowed to get this bad???

I'm new to this site but have heard in the past that it carries political clout, is there a way that I could start a petition to try and get something done about this issue?

Thank you for listening...

Totally agree with you. Scares the hell out of me too.

I'm hoping in 10 years time this will have been sorted.

How are your children accessing this porn if you're monitoring what they're up to on the Internet?

I think to ban that is censorship. You might not like it but I think the real time, effort, money should be spent regulating it to make sure all involved are consenting and happy with it.

Wrt to children viewing it, I firmly believe that it is up to us as parents to supervise our children's Internet use. The government can not and should not (imo) be regulating what is available, unless it is illegal. More stringent checks that those viewing it are over 18, maybe.

If they can censor this, where will it stop?

I'm aware that may be a controversial view, but I feel very strongly about it.

Also I think the daily mail already did the petition thing a while ago... Of course.

Howard You can stop your kid watching anything in the confines of your own house.

How the hell are you supposed to stop little shits at school showing them things they don't want to see???!

Pretty sure that's the point that's being made. It shouldn't be available. Full stop.

You do not get to impose your sexual preferences on others.

Agree with PP. There are issues for women and safety here.

But it's not parenting as such, because if you're a parent You should definitely have security (and know fully how to use it) on your Internet. Otherwise even if everything bar 'vanilla' nudity were banned kids could still access that! And violent movies, swearing etc. Would that be ok? No. Not as extreme but still inappropriate.

An analogy might be clearly unsafe racing bikes/cars. They're a menace round my way, driven by younger men recklessly. BUT though I think they should be regulated, I'm not sure it's a parenting thing ... I need to keep my child on the pavement, and recognise that the dangers are not just 'won't somebody think of the children' but endanger more people.

The problem with many sexual sites is not just people seeing sex. It's consent and exploitation.

How the hell are you supposed to stop little shits at school showing them things they don't want to see???!

I don't know about the schools that your children go to but at my children's schools such behaviour is grounds for suspension if not expulsion.

Do you also feel that violent and gory content on the Internet should be banned as well as porn, or are you happy that sites such as rotten.com exist? What about sites that just have stories about sex (eg, "slash fiction") rather than pictures and videos?

...and further agree with PP that if people are not being exploited but it's just "eurgh they're doing kinky stuff" it's none of your business.

I grew up before the Internet. I remember being shown dirty books and a magazine by a "little shit" perfectly normal randy/curious teen at school. Banning it won't stop teens seeking such things.
Google "the pearl" Victorian erotica. Spanking is nothing new, neither is publishing sexual stuff.

FWIW I'm one of the people who "police" Internet misuse, child protection etc in school. 1. Internet security is so high the kids struggle to get on legit sex ed and biology sites (we have to get our it guy to unlock them for the relevant lesson, with written records or how/why) 2. There is a programme called AB Tutor in schools, teacher/librarian can/will snoop on a mosaic of every screen in tge room and 3. If an IT whizz is caught contravening these, parents are called and it's a "child protection" issue. A big deal and a massive shit storm. Kids know this. It deters them at school - but I still have to deal with fallout from IT illiterate homes because that's where dodgy stuff I'd accessed then screen shot/saved. Or - FAR MORE COMMON and concerning - boob/willy shots sent to bf/gf then shared when it turns sour. You can't censor that, just educate.

I have discussed this with my DDs as it has come up. Huge explanations that porn is not real. So far so good. Lots of prostitution near my work place so we've talked more about that. Dire warnings about inappropriate selfies. I think that's all you can do. There will always be other kids peddling stuff you don't want your kids to see. There is a point that you should inform and warn imho

HowardTJMoon From other children, with parents that are more "relaxed" when it comes to parenting, I thought that was obvious...

Fairy13 So I'm guessing you're against the new laws, it seems like the government is punishing the UK Porn industry (who pay tax and follow rules regarding preventing children from seeing their content) and rewarding the illegal Tube sites with these laws, this is not just a story of porn but it seems to have a fair amount of injustice in it too...

HowardTJMoon Yes I think Gore sites should be banned too don't you? How does watching murders and executions possibly benefit our society?? The written word is a different kettle of fish imo...

Totally agree with you! I can't understand why people are not taking the dangers of porn seriously. Maybe you should approach MN headquarters to start a campaign about this?

Interesting point that was made to me the other day, Tube sites are illegal, they pirate porn that has been produced to be sold therefore the porn producers are losing lots of money, after all why would a porn watcher pay for porn when they can easily get it for free.
If that trend continues the porn industry will just die, so maybe Tube sites will serve a purpose after all, but how long that will take and how much damage will be done along the way remains to be seen...

Thank you InterOuta, I hoping someone on this thread can give me advise on how to do that?

I'm not totally naive so that I think porn can be eradicated completely, but as it stands at the moment my son can go to a friends house that hasn't got a net nanny system in place and find the most horrendous porn after one google search, I want to make that process a lot more difficult, and I think it's a governments responsibility to do so!

HowardTJMoon From other children, with parents that are more "relaxed" when it comes to parenting, I thought that was obvious...

So how do you propose that you will stop these "relaxed" parents making things like porn/violent/gory DVDs accessible to their children?

&Yes I think Gore sites should be banned too don't you? How does watching murders and executions possibly benefit our society?? The written word is a different kettle of fish imo...^

I asked because whenever this topic comes up - and it's come up a lot on mumsnet - I find it helpful to discover whether the issue is about porn in particular or more about making the Internet as a whole child-friendly.

As far as the gore sites I think that, on balance, they shouldn't be banned. They're not to my taste. I make sure that my children can't access them on any device that I have some control over. But I don't believe that the Internet can be, or should be, an entirely child-friendly environment. And censorship as a topic is something that does concern me because of the politics involved. How does this kind of thing benefit society? By confronting us with the reality of what happens when, for instance, our leaders drag us into wars.

The written word is a different kettle of fish imo...

What's different about it? What about drawings of sex acts rather than photos?

...as it stands at the moment my son can go to a friends house that hasn't got a net nanny system in place and find the most horrendous porn after one google search, I want to make that process a lot more difficult, and I think it's a governments responsibility to do so!

Or, to put it another way, "I believe some parents are irresponsible and I can't be bothered to police where my children go. Therefore I want everyone in the entire country, regardless of whether they are a parent or not, to be blocked from accessing sites I don't like."

That's like saying "I think that Mrs Smith down the road lets her 12 year-old drink alcopops but, rather than stopping my child from going to Mrs Smith's house, I want all alcohol sales to be banned for everyone."

Do you not think that such an approach makes us parents appear lazy and as if we have no idea how to parent properly? Surely keeping our children safe to our satisfaction is our responsibility as parents, not the government's?

I use pornhub. I'm an adult. Why would it need to be banned?

Surely security to avoid CHILDREN accessing it needs to be stricter, but why ban it all together? Adults have the right to watch porn. And fwiw I think alot of that banned list is rubbish if it's the one that sires female ejaculation and such.

I also use these sites. I don't see why other they should be censored just so that your children can't access them.

There is so much content out there that some people like and others find disturbing. What about sites like literotica (erotic fiction), erotic ebooks, deviant art, tumblr, or plain old late night TV, which are full of porn? What about disturbing archive footage of ISIS atrocities and executions, or pictures of dead bodies on the Daily Mail? Are you going to block it all?

Surely its up to parents to, well, parent their children. Learn how your computer and its privacy settings work. Don't let your DCs have computers in their bedrooms. TALK to them about upsetting online content in general, and porn in particular if you are worried. Talk to them about relationships, sex, safe sex, consent and 'yes means yes'.

Teach them that porn isn't representative of what goes on in most adult relationships, in the same way that most people don't look like Hollywood actors, and the gruesome murders you see in the Daily Mail are not representative of reality for the vast majority of the population.

Don't try and block sites which plenty of adults obviously enjoy, showing sex acts between consenting adults just because its easier than engaging with your children about this important topic.

Sorry I think you're being completely unreasonable and I agree with this from anonsatsooma

Don't try and block sites which plenty of adults obviously enjoy, showing sex acts between consenting adults just because its easier than engaging with your children about this important topic

HowardTJMoon It appears we're on different wave lengths completely, it's a bit like explaining earth to an alien so just like when you get stuck with the annoying person at a party I'm just going to edge away from you... But before I go I will answer your last question, I think real events recorded on video have more impact than hollywood, the written word or pictures, I just do, when I was a child growing up with two brothers it wasn't books or pictures of stuff they were always seeking out, video was the holy grail...

WouldYouLikeACupOfTeaTooMate anonsatsooma I'm not against people watching porn, watch away!! I just don't like loads of free extreme porn being all over any unmonitored computer/tablet/phone my child might gain access to... But you say you like "stealing" your porn as oppose to paying for it so I suppose I should be congratulating you for contributing to the downfall of the industry as a whole, well done!!

Not to mention the fact that efforts to block access to streaming sites such as the Tube sites you are referring to are laughable.

You need a little know-how to torrent things nowadays. This is not how people watch porn online. You stream it on a site like YouTube.

All you need to know is how to Google. Say 'porn.com' has been blocked. This means you can no longer reach it at the old address/URL. So you google 'porn.com proxy' and find a new address/URL that takes you to an exact copy of the same site. Then you can watch videos on it. It is as simple as that. Go google pirate bay proxy if you like.

Well how do you propose that people watch it if you want it banned?

It is your job to police what your children have access to, and. I appreciate this is hard, but censorship does not work and nor should it. We can only arm our children with the information we give to them i.e., porn isn't representative of everyday sexual relationships.

Howard, can you tell me how I can police what my children view on their devices? What is the best system to use/ buy? I'm a bit non computer savvy, my kids have iPod, kindle fire and access to laptops. Is there something I can do wth internet provider for e.g? Any help appreciated. Thank you

Most workplace/school firewalls are wise to proxies and have been for about 9 or 10 years. They're updated daily.