Bereaved children

[boloriabullet]

My much loved grandfather died of lung cancer last night. I have nursed him since diagnosis with the support of my husband and family.

I have two sons and a baby daughter. Ds1 is 10, ds2 is 6. They were very close to him and although they only saw him once a fortnight or so, they loved him very much,

So now I am left with two very emotional and bereaved children, sobbing loudly, clinging, generally unhappy. This I agree is all normal and it will pass, but it is so distressing as there is absolutely nothing I can do to help them except cuddles and kindness and understanding.

They saw him when he was unconscious and gave him a kiss goodbye. At the time it felt right. They love him and wanted to say goodbye.

Does anyone have any advice??!

I'm very sorry for your loss. The charity Winstons Wish is very good for helping bereaved children.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Winstons wish is a fab charity that help bereaved children, you can call them for advice or use this link to work through ways to help them come through.

Hold them, let them cry, let them talk (or not) as they choose, make sure their teachers know so they can offer support and be aware that some children may need some targeted grief management support if they can't process their feelings.

for you as well and be kind to yourself.

It is indescribably painful to watch your children grieve.

From experience I would advise that you just keep cuddling, kissing, talking or not talking.
Just let them know that it's ok to cry or not to cry or talk about him constantly or not talk about.
It's so very important to make sure they know that however they feel is ok.
Keep hugging, telling them you love them...that's it's going to be ok.
And try not to let your heart break in two as you watch them hurting so much.
hugs and love

Thanks so much, I will check out winston's wish. You are right, I can't believe this awful pain of watching them suffer and being able to do absolutely zilch about it. I consider myself to be quite an experienced mum but this has completely floored me. Thanks again

So sorry for your loss. The emotional pain you feel personally is nothing compared to the pain you feel for your children so I totally understand. I'm afraid you just need need to let them follow the grieving process in the best way for them. If that is by talking, let them talk. If it's crying, let them cry and if it's silence let them be quiet. My nan died when I was 12. My auntie kept trying to talk to me but i preferred to be alone at the time. Lots of understanding, kisses and cuddles work wonders. Grief is weird. In a day or two you might be able to introduce a little humour/ memories. They'll seem a little better most probably, then they'll experience the grief strongly again at the funeral, but the finality is what is needed for them to move on and recover again. Just give them as much or as little space as they need.