Depths of hell ....

[karmagetsyou]

So, DS horrific baby, total Velcro baby. Cried all day, NEVER happy. Fed & slept well, but only ever happy if held constantly. In fact I've only really stopped holding him the whole time.

Roll forward 17 months (DS now 17 months) and I am now still in disaster.

Where am I going wrong? The temper, tantrums, doesn't now eat well, the crying still. Every fucking thing is a battle, nappy change, getting dressed, getting undressed, the list is endless .... whinges in buggy, whinges in car (he doesn't walk yet) STILL NOTHING MAKES HIM HAPPY!!!!

I am grateful so much to the people who said "it gets easier, he'll be happier once he's moving" but fuck sake when???

I've just had a really bad few days & pretty much cried at the end of each day myself (lone parent)

I'm at a loss as to where the hell I am going wrong

Have you thought about taking him to the doctors to check he has no ear or chest infection?

If get him checked out too. What does he like?

Yes it gets easier but not yet. There's lots of frustration for them. They can't talk or walk but they have developing sense of independence. Temper tantrums are a bitch. Learn to ignore it. Try and find ways to work with him rather than against him. I found battling ds really wearing (worst at 2yrs plus).

Distraction is your friend. Do silly things to try and snap him out if it. Tiredness has a lot to answer for - yours and his.

I reckon just settle in for the long haul and try and appreciate how little and cute he is right now. That's what I do with ds2. Gremlin might be whinging in his cot right now but I still think how lovely he is.

Have a on me

My mum gas this with me - turned out I had undiagnosed asthma and certain things made me wheeze and struggle for breath so I cried or was sick. I didn't sleep through a whole night until I got diagnosed and given medication when I was seven.

How is his sleep and his many naps does he have?

Have you asked your health visitor to come round for a couple of hours to see if she has any help to offer you?

Thank you so much all.

I have booked to see HV early May (earliest date)

I've had him checked by doctors, but that was prob a year ago.

Ok - so the distraction seems to be what people are telling me really works & not to fight it, ignore said tantrums & praise good behaviour etc ...

At this rate its ME that's in time out more than he will ever be

It's just soooooooooo HARD at times & here you go "I'm jealous of those fuckers with easy babies/toddlers"

He sleeps and naps well, 7-7 & 2hr lunchtime nap - that I think I have been blessed with to make up for the gremlin that he is

No advice Karma just for you. Hope tomorrow is a better day.

It is hard. I'm glad he sleeps - at least you get that.
Hope your HV has some ideas how to handle him.

That's tough. I was on my own with dd and she didn't walk until 17 months. She's nearly 14 now (!) and I now have DS who is 8.5mo and I'm in a relationship.

It is SO MUCH EASIER this time. So so much. No one who has not been a single parent themselves understands the relentlessness of it. There is no break and no chance to enjoy your baby. No one to share the minutae with, things like the baby's poo colour, for example, are not a point of interest with anyone else.

But you are on the brink of a new stage. When he walks, ok you'll have a whole new set of problems, but it will relieve a lot of his frustration. It gets easier from here on in, it really does. Hang in there.

So so kind everyone :) truly makes me smile that I am not alone.