Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

No idea what to do for the best....

3 replies

Mummybabyboo · 14/04/2015 12:56

Such a tricky whirlwind of a story, here goes nothing. My husband has 2 sons from previous. I have a daughter from previous. When we first met he had them thurs,fri,sat weekly. My daughter and his sons spent time together and their relationships blossomed, my daughter being an only child til then was over the moon to have playmates. She adores them they ARE her brothers in her mind. Over time when anything good would happen or progress was made in our relationship DH's ex would reduce contact. When we moved in she took the Thursdays, when we got engaged she took the Fridays, when we got pregnant she made it fortnightly, when our son was born she took overnights completely, since the day of our wedding in January she has stopped all contact. She says that DH can only see them if he see's them alone, I initally told him to do it, if that's what it takes to see his son's then so be it. But then I thought about my own children, I may know he is not "choosing" that he has been given no choice and is being forced into it. But what will our children think. our son is too young to know yet. But my daughter is devastated that she's not seeing them. I told my DH that I wasn't ok with it, that I wasn't losing my husband and my children were not losing their dad every other weekend, we are not a split family and we should not have to live like one, just so his EX can still feel like she has control over him. My DD thinks DH's EX hates her or that she's done something wrong, I'm struggling to explain this is not her fault without badmouthing dsc's mum but it's very hard. I have said that this is about DH and his EX not about DD and that the EX doesn't think about hurting anyone else only DH. I really don't know if that's right or wrong. I can't have her believe this is about her. How to I take her sadness away? How do I help her cope with the broken bonds? How do I help her understand this is not her fault and she must not blame herself? How do I do all that without badmouthing dsc's mother! My heart breaks for my husband and all 4 children that are suffering broken bonds but I am powerless!

OP posts:
JemFinch · 14/04/2015 13:03

You need to go to court and get proper access arrangements in place.

Mummybabyboo · 14/04/2015 13:12

Court is not an option for us. DH will never force the boys to come and she has them saying they don't want to come. She would never abide by it and DH won't use the kids against her just because she is using them against him.

OP posts:
Jux · 26/04/2015 00:04

Then they'll grow up believing that he couldn't be bothered to fight for them.

Court. Keep a detailed diary of events from now on, and write down as much as you can remember along with dates if you can, even if it's only 'March, 2011'.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page