Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

my son will not use the potty

14 replies

alles · 02/11/2006 21:18

my son has just turned 3 and he just will not use the potty or the loo it is driving me mad he know when he is going for a wee and a poo but just will not do it in the potty help

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

fortyplus · 03/11/2006 18:39

It's a great way of getting your attention, isn't it? The more you make an issue of it the more he'll use it against you. You need to get together with other children the same age and when they use the potty say how clever they are, how grown up, what a big boy etc. Don't tell yours you wish he would do it - just ignore him and praise the other child. He'll soon want to get the praise himself and start showing you that he's a clever boy, too!

FrannyonFire · 03/11/2006 18:41

This is the second thread like this this week. Just leave him till he is ready - it is quite normal - just wait and he will get there in his own time. You can't make him do it - that's fairly obvious. So you need to wait until he is ready to co-operate.

honneybunny · 03/11/2006 21:27

hi alles, i just wanted to write in reply to your message, for sympathy and support...
my ds1 was like this too (he is 2y11mo) until a week ago: he refused both the loo and the potty. we just left him, until he was ready (like franny suggested). ds1 goes to nursery and it wasn't until he realised that some of his younger friends were using the potty that he was willing to give it a try. we left his nappy of for the first time last week on wednesday. he's had maybe 5 accidents since then in total, and has been dry (even at night/nap time) for the last 3 days. it is amazing! when you leave them until they are ready, they train themselves. saves you lots of frustration and your ds too!
good luck!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Lio · 03/11/2006 21:30

hi alles, we are also doing the 'not showing we are concerned' thing, though it is a bit grrrr-making.

fortyplus · 04/11/2006 13:40

He WILL do it really suddenly - when you're least expecting it. And you'll benefit from the fact that he is mature enough to have proper control so will probably never wet himself, unlike the kids who will sit on a potty and perform via 'toilet reflex' which is entirely different to 'toilet trained'.

Don't depair - it won't be long now.

Original poster

alles · 05/11/2006 18:30

thank you for all your help and support it means alot it is just frustreting when you have famliy members saying to you that he should not be in nappy and that i am not trying i am just letting him do what he wants it drives me mad so thank you again

stuff them i will go at his speed

OP posts:

moondog · 05/11/2006 18:39

I'm not surpriesd kids take so long to potty train these days.
With ultra absorbent nappies there is no incentive.

Try cloth-a couple of pounds of cold wet cloth around his nether regions will soon chivvy him along.

juuule · 05/11/2006 19:20

We use cloth. My dd was still 3y4m when she stopped wearing them. Didn't seem to bother her. She decided for herself that she wasn't wearing nappies anymore and that was that..no more nappies during the day.

moondog · 05/11/2006 22:40

Hmmm,that's inteesting Juule.
i really do think the feel of them 9and the thought of washing them for a minute longer than absolutely necessary) spurred us all on.

MrsForgetful · 05/11/2006 22:57

here gos....bound to be tuts of disapproval!!!! !!!

My ds3 was the same...we finally made a game of it... we actually allowed him to wee in the bath!!!

Yes...i know i will be told off!!!

But it worked... we played a "stop and start" game...he thought he was soooooo clever!

Then whilst IN the bath we held the potty by him to wee into it.....he hated sitting on it.

we then bought one of those larger 'toilet' looking contaptions...which was much comfier than squatting on a traditional potty....and withing a week or two... he was out of nappies daytime....he was slow to be 'dry' and at 7 still has 'wet beds' occaisionally....but as i wet the bed till 10...i am not worried.

fortyplus · 06/11/2006 09:35

Tut tut - weeing in the bath - whatever next?! Sounds like a GREAT game - and what a brilliant idea - by stopping and starting you taught him to control the muscles. Clever you - wish I'd thought of that!

And alles - there's nothing worse than some smug relative telling you how on their side of the family they were all potty trained at 3 weeks. I bet they're all so anally retentive now that they'd die if they farted in public! Sorry - very uncouth of me to type thimgs like that but it gets right up my nose (or bottom as the case may be!)

benemily1 · 06/11/2006 10:00

my daughter was 2 when she daytime trained BUT 3 and a half before night time trained. Her friend who is exactly the same age did both at 3 so actually beat her to totally dry!!
Suggest to relatives they can put her in pants at their house, if child not ready the rels will soon regret naggging you!!! (wink)

fortyplus · 06/11/2006 10:13

The dry at night thing is entirely different. Both mine were coming up for 3 when they were 'potty trained' though in fact they didn't like the potty and each only used it a handful of times before progressing to the loo.

Neither of them ever wet themselves during the day - not even once. BUT ds1 was 6 and ds2 about 4.5 before being dry at night and even then they'd have an occasional 'accident' once or twice a year till about 10.

Apparently we all produce a hormone that concentrates our urine at night. Babies don't do it - it gradually starts being produced after a few months. When you get old the production can diminish, which is why old people can become incontinent at night.

I took ds1 to my GP at 5 - she explained this to me and said that as he had excellent bladder control during the day it must be a hormonal thing. He had a nasal spray called 'Desmopressin', which is a synthetic version of the hormone. Every 3 months you stop for a week to see if the child is naturally dry at night.

Apparently if your child is wet at night you should seek help at 5 - the ancient wisdom was leave it till 7 but this is now considered out dated.

Possibly the subject for a whole new thread?!

karenmarie · 08/11/2006 12:57

I have had this problem, my daughter was 4 in july and point blank refused! She was dry thou, for hours, until i put a nappy on. She was referred to a psychologist about it. then few days ago, out of the blue she used the potty! She's done it twice now and its slow but massive progress!! Hang in there!!!
karen

Flip