Lack of attention from other adults :0(

[peppajay]

Unfortunately none of my family like my children which results in them playing up for attention. On my side of the family they are the only children so really they should be spoiled by family members but because I am the only one that gives them attention whenever we see another adult they do anything they can to get their attention and because they are seen as a hindrance and the kids are realising this -they are becoming so intense around other adults - they would love another adult to play with them or show them some interest but no one does. I am the only one that does anything with them and I do everything for them. If there are adults around and other children they are fine as they will play happily with the kids. They have cousins on my Dh's side and meeting up with them is lovely as they play happily with their cousins as us adults get a bit if adult time. Can't convince my family and husband though that maybe if they just played a bit with the kids or acted silly or even just read them a book they wouldn't be so intense!!! But they are not interested in them which in turn makes them play up more!!! They blame the kids I blame them, so a little bit of little old me against the 5 of them with the kids in the middle!!!! Generally they are really good kids but they must be so bored of me as I am the only one who gives them the time of day!!

I don't think you can force someone who isn't interested to play with the children, however much of a shame you think it is.

Can you find another environment with adults who would take an interest? Do you have friends who enjoy seeing them?
For example, my husband plays in a large band and when they are playing at fetes or have social events I go along and the band members all take an interest in my child. I'm sure there must be plenty of other community organisations that would welcome a family joining, depending on what your interests are.

Surely there are tons of other children and adults in their life?

Most of our friends have kids alot older than mine so at get togethers and days out they are often the only kids hence why they relish the attention of other adults. When there are other kids around there is no problem as they happily play!

That's a shame. What age are your children peppajay?

They are 8 and 6 and they Are very active children love being out and about and love talking they never stop! Because I have always taken them out and chatted to them they find it hard when other adults don't really want much to do with them.

I feel for you but maybe those family members are rather wooden because they're a bit overwhelmed by the chatter and activity. Faking interest even for the duration of a brief visit doesn't occur to them. Some adults just assume kids will do their own thing independently while the grown ups talk. As said upthread you can't force it. If the hosts regard your two as an alien species and can't relate to them or find an activity or simple task for them to do to "help" alongside, they'll just have to entertain themselves.

So either you say, "Look DCs it's nothing personal, but X Y and Z aren't used to being around children so you just have to keep out of their way," - or, I know it sounds Victorian but maybe taking along some games like cards or dominoes to sit and play might help break the ice.