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Parenting

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Original poster

we dont give our 2 year old chocolate but my mum thinks this is wrong

25 replies

lazyminimoo · 05/04/2015 02:11

my mum is angry and i think upset because i agreed with my partner and said no he cant have an easter egg she has always known we dont give him chocolate but still talks about it all the time trying to change my partners mind and get me to give it to him anyway, she said im not normal and he is not having a childhood like most kids , but what is so wrong with not giving him choc? he cant be missing something hes never had , yes one day he will have choc when he goes to school im sure he will end up eating it and we cant stop that , its not like i want to stop him eating it but i dont see the need to give him it when hes not even askig for it yet, but why is my mum getting so upset by it that she is now not talking to me , i have done nothing to her said nothing other then he cant have an egg yet , my partner has strong feelings on it and dosent want him to i just dont see why my mum is getitng angry with me saying i should disregard what my partner says and just give him choc an dismiss my partners thought when i dont exactly disagree with him i just dont feel as strongly as he dose

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Whiskwarrior · 05/04/2015 02:16

Why have you got two separate threads on this in two separate areas?

Original poster

lazyminimoo · 05/04/2015 02:34

because at the time i hadnt had a reply on the other and i thought maybe its the wrong place an nooone would comment on the other

OP posts:

moomin35 · 05/04/2015 07:26

Does it really matter whiskwarrior, OP just wants a response.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds Families General parenting

Cookiecake · 05/04/2015 07:34

My son didn't have sweets or chocolate until at least 2, he has allergies so therefore I was always really careful with what I gave him. It's entirely up to you though what you do and do not want your child to have, your mum is being silly and having no chocolate will not ruin his childhood. I think you should be prepared for your little one to start eating it in future though as it's quite unavoidable once they start nursery/school although it sounds like your aware of this already.

You need to just keep telling your mum no, it is your child and you decide what they will or won't eat. I would actually refuse to engage in the same conversation over and over again and hopefully she will get the message!

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 05/04/2015 07:46

My mum thought that I should wean my ds at 3 months on tea and biscuits lol. I just laughed it off, it's a generational thing I think. She also bought him an easter egg , (he is 1 now) so I said thanks and ate it myself!

I don't know why your mum is getting so upset and angry about it though? Maybe it has become a battle of wills between her and your partner? Next tim e maybe just say you are looking after your little ones teeth rather than saying your partner won't allow it....? A little white lie to keep the peace isn't so bad. Don't fall out with your mum over an easter egg, I'm sure she loves her grandchild very much

Sootgremlin · 05/04/2015 07:51

I think it's fine, it's your decision and he won't be missing anything at his age.

I did similar when my son was little, as their just seemed no need to get him a load of sweet stuff if he was happy without. Grandparents do just get excited about these occasions and want to spoil kids. Could she pick him up an Easter book or colouring book instead?

Just to say though, my ds is almost 4 and we have got him an egg this year... And also one for his one year old sister. As she has turned one and got more aware we've found it impossible to exclude her, though she has more of a token amount, she's still had some things long before ds did.

SonnyJimBob · 05/04/2015 07:59

Maybe because she wants to spoil her grandchild, or watch him enjoy a treat and she believes you are depriving him of that.

Either way it doesn't matter, he's your child not your mother's. No one sensible is going to tell you that you should ignore your own wishes and allow her to give him chocolate. Just put your foot down and move on.

Purplehonesty · 05/04/2015 08:00

I was quite precious about ds and didn't let him have chocolate or sweets for ages.
People used to roll their eyes but hey it was my choice.
Dd on the other had was born when
Ds was 3 so didn't really get that chance with her.
My mil laughs at all the things I do with dd that I never would have with him. She just wants whatever he has so it's harder.
I used to say thank you for the Easter eggs let him have a bit and then scoff the rest! I still do really - they are 5 and 2 now and our table is full of eggs this morning. They will only eat a little really, save some and dh and I will help dispose of the rest!

SoupDreggon · 05/04/2015 08:02

What do you/your DP think is evil about chocolate?

Regardless, your mother should abide by your wishes.

Strawberrybubblegum · 05/04/2015 08:02

It's a parenting choice, and not an unusual one.

I've chosen to let with year old DD have small amounts of sweet things, in the hope that they will just become a normal part of life for her, and not be too emotionally laden.

I actually think good quality chocolate isn't that bad. I'm much more careful of fruit juice! (again, a parenting choice )

I wouldn't give her a whole easter egg. But when family have given them to her (this year and last), I've just thanked them and eaten them myself. Win-win

Strawberrybubblegum · 05/04/2015 08:06

Autocorrect ! 2 year old DD

VirginiaTonic · 05/04/2015 08:09

I know someone who wouldn't let her child have chocolate until he was older. The kid goes mad for it now!!!!!!!!

Bakeoffcake · 05/04/2015 08:11

Don't listen to her. We had the same thing as dd2 didn't have chocolate until her second Easter. I just didn't think it was necessary, she didn't miss what she'd never had.

Althought the photo of the first time she tasted chocolate is wonderful. Her little face looked like this ---->

Bakeoffcake · 05/04/2015 08:12

Virginia, my dd is 21 now and she's not at all bothered about chocolate. She much prefers savoury things.

violetwellies · 05/04/2015 08:14

For DS's first Easter he received 27 chocolate gifts, I don't eat it so it kept DP going til nearly Christmas, this year people are getting the hang of it and he will receive probably 6. DP will again have to eat them.

Longdistance · 05/04/2015 08:25

My sil didn't let our nephews have sweets and chocolate. Like pp they are mad for it now, and one dn came to stay. He had loads of empty packets of Haribos left behind. He was practically living off them.
Bil was very antsy about it, as he had a relative who's teeth fell out maybe he should have brushed them

GlitzAndGigglesx · 05/04/2015 08:29

A friend of a friend wouldn't give her 9 month old yoghurt because of the sugar but would let him suck on chocolate buttons "to help strengthen his gums" x10000000

nottheOP · 05/04/2015 08:37

It's a tricky decision, you don't want to give them a sweet tooth but then the forbidden fruit is the sweetest.

Ds loves anything sweet. He had nothing at all until his first birthday cake and we don't give him anything in the week but he gets pudding at nursery and we will give him the odd bit at weekends.

I honestly don't think there's a right way and a complete ban could make them go the other way. Your dm should respect your decision.

florentina1 · 05/04/2015 08:38

Stick to your guns. My children were not given sweets, cakes or biscuits at home. They did not develop a taste for them until they were much older. I had massive pressure from relatives. Once they were older and could understand, they were given them.

I had to stop my eldest from staying at my mums, because he would vomit every time he was there. She refused to believe it was the excessive crap she fed him.

On a lighter side, I did laugh, at one of her parties when she tried to insist on my 30 year old son having strawberry ice cream. He said, "Oh Nan, you don't want to be mopping up sick in that nice dress do you?"

VashtaNerada · 05/04/2015 08:45

Probably too late now but could you suggest an alternative Easter gift? If you can encourage her to spoil him in non-chocolatey ways she might back off a bit!

Imeg · 05/04/2015 13:24

My in laws are always keen to feed my 1 year old enormous quantities of food including lots of sweet things, much more than he could possibly eat, but being a proper gannet he would have a good go. He threw up at Christmas because they gave him so much trifle despite me suggesting that he'd had plenty...

I compromise on him eating more sweet stuff there than he would at home but trying to stop them before he has a ridiculous quantity (I find a useful approach is 'no thank you he won't be able to eat a whole one himself, I'll give him some of mine'... then I'm in charge of the quantities also 'no thank you he won't have a chocolate cake but he'd love some ice-cream thank you)

In our case they live quite a way away so it's only going to be now and again and therefore I'm happy to be a bit more relaxed about it as a special occasion. If they lived nearer and were seeing him more regularly I would need to set out some boundaries. It may get slightly trickier when he's old enough to understand what food is on offer.

Ineedacleaningfairy · 06/04/2015 15:27

It sounds like a power struggle between your mum and dp, sometimes people take other people's parenting decisions as criticism of their own parenting.

I am very honest with people who give my toddler sweet gifts, I say "thank you! I'll give ds a little taste and then I'll have the rest" the message has gotten across, this year my in laws have him some toy animals and strawberries :)

Our decision is to give our children a small amount of chocolate occasionally (ds once had a sweet and almost choaked on it so no sweets for now!) I don't think it really matters if you don't allow chocolate at all or if you have chocolate everyday you still have the same chance of being obsessed/uninterested in sweet stuff, I was very rarely allowed sweet things as a child and I adore sweets now but I think that's just my personality rather than my upbringing.

Ineedacleaningfairy · 06/04/2015 15:28

My 3 month old baby was given an chocolate bunny this year which made me quite amused!

LittleLionMansMummy · 08/04/2015 08:28

I am convinced that sweets especially are the devil's work - keep your ds off them for as long as possible. We don't give ds many sweets or chocolate but we have gone through stages of having whole days of ds demanding sweets, us saying no, him having tantrums etc.

On the easter egg issue I probably would have just thanked her, quietly put it away and eaten it myself later!

I do think you're being a bit unrealistic about your ds making it to school age before having sweets and chocolate though - party bags always have sweets and chocolate cake and there will always be other children who will offer/ share their sweets with him. It's very hard to say no in those circumstances.

LittleLionMansMummy · 08/04/2015 08:31

And yes, our ds almost choked on a sweet too - scariest moment of my life, no doubt at all.

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