Help a Dad out

[dad111222]

I have a 5 month old. Mum isn't well so last 2 days I have tried to do as much as possible. Today my Wife said "how long did she just sleep for?" I said I didn't know exactly, around 45 mins.

This got a debate going. She said you need to know how long she sleeps for. I have no issue with this but only do things I can see why. Currently if she needs to sleep then I take her for a walk, sometimes she sleeps 20 mins, sometimes 2 hours during the day. I never wake her and always let her sleep when she gives sleepy signals.

Can anyone explain the benefits of knowing how long she slept for and how I would use this knowledge. I know she sleeps around 3-4 times during the day. Total maybe 3 hours. Yesterday she didn't sleep long. Maybe 2 hours total. Some days she probably has double that.

Thanks

Maybe she just wants to know for her own curiosity? I was like that with my first. Nowall I want to know is "when did he wake?" As I just count two hours on for his next sleep. As you say, sometimes its a 20min nap, sometimes a 2 hour one.

Mine is 5.5 months (dc2) and currently having an unexpectedly long nap.

Can anyone explain the benefits of knowing how long she slept for and how I would use this knowledge.

To keep the mother happy :)

TBH, it's just to have a rough idea of whether they are ready to wake up or could benefit from dropping off back to sleep. Also as an indicator of what any whinginess might be caused by.

Your wife is maybe thinking ahead to meal timings and the next sleep. Eg if baby only slept for 20 minutes then she may be sleep earlier in the afternoon and so leaving her feed too late might mean she wont eat it as over tired and then not settle properly.

It gives the illusion of control to know how long she slept?

Few things fascinate me more than my DD's sleep patterns. Not even joking.

5 months was the age at which DH and I started trying to regulate sleep patterns, in preparation for childcare. I remember having an actual chart of when she fed and when she slept! Yes, it was as pointless as it sounds. Perhaps your DW wants to keep an eye on any emerging patterns? It does help understand what DC is crying/grizzling about if you know whether they are likely to be tired or not.

By the sounds of it, it sounds like a kinda of pointless exercise that I will just have to start doing to keep DW (think that's the right abbreviation) happy. Thanks for all your help!

Yes it was pretty obvious you thought it was pointless and were posting to prove your point to your wife. dont think you can based on this thread though

Some stupid baby books get mums very worked up about how much their baby "should" sleep and how often.
To sell books touting the solution or sleep training of course.

Could it be that?

The infant sleep information service website has far saner advice, at all ages total sleep varies quite a lot from baby to baby.

I don't keep tabs on my two month olds sleep pattern yet but I will start to keep an eye on things soon as I remember my first dd being terrible if she got over tired. If she didn't nap for long enough then it would throw Her feeds off and it would cause her night time sleep to be very disturbed and me to be up half night.
I used to go mental when the inlaws watched her as they would never get her to nap and then she would become hysterical and I wouldn't be able to get her over at night or she wohmd fall asleep too close to bed time and then be bouncing about til 1am.
It depends on your child but I know I really needed it with dd1. Dd2 still sleeps around the clock so there's no point yet.
I defo don't think its a 'pointless exercise'. Have you tried asking your wife why she wanted to know and what impact it would have on your LO and her rough routine?

I'm certainly not a 'routine led' parent but I found my dd needed a loose routine to be respected or she got quite distressed. My hubby always was aware of this too

Is your wife someone with a career/professional job by any chance? It is very very common to approach first baby as another project and gather a lot of data!! Some women on here have notebooks full of it. It is an adjustment thing to a massive step change in life.

Yes, it is pointless. Knowing roughly is helpful, but 'about 45 minutes ' is good enough. A rough idea gives you hints to when they will next seem sleepy and how tired they are.

It's helpful to know how long she slept as it could affect what time she wants to eat or sleep again. Also you can roughly plan your day. I think it is a vague mood indicator for a young baby so slept for only 20 mins means she should be grouchy in a couple of hours. I always use to make a mental note of how long my DS had napped for.

Routiney people gets their knickers in a twist about this. I don't see the point personally. But if it helps your ill wife to feel less stressed, maybe just humour her for now.

I see both views. My daughter thrived on routine, napping too long or going down at the wrong time threw her off which resulted in long crying fits. My son thinks routine is a dirty word and as such I go with the flow, he sleeps when he sleeps and I get sleep if I can. But I suppose the difference was that I knew my daughter could sleep through if her routine was followed, my son has never slept through and so I have nothing to lose by letting him sleep 45 mins or two hours as the result is the same, unpredictable sleeping patterns!

I needed to know how long my second DS napped for, because he was a routine baby (first DS totally the opposite). You needed to know what time he woke, to work out when his first nap would be, then the timings of his feeds roughly.

I still need to know his nap times now, because it affects what time to put him down for bed. If he's slept til 4, then I don't put him down til 8, if he's napped til 3, he's ready at 7 etc.

If I didn't need to know for the above reasons I'd not be so concerned. But I do. Because it keeps DS happy, and means he sleeps. So I can sleep too!