Favouring one child over another

[crayon]

The threads on families of three children have got me thinking. Quite a few people wrote about one or two of the children in their families being 'favourites' with their parents. It concerns me that none of my three should feel that they or the others are favourites, but it is difficult when they are so different as people.

DS3 is still only tiny so it's hard to know that much about his personality yet, but DS1 and DS2 are totally different. DS1 is very very talkative, but not very cuddly. DS2 is not very talkative, but very cuddly. I often wonder what their perception of how I treat them will be. Will DS1 think I didn't cuddle him much and will DS2 think I didn't talk to him much? Should I cuddle a child that doesn't want to be cuddled and talk to a child that needs a bit of his own head space? Prob not, I think I need to cater to their individual needs, but it's hard to make it look 'fair'.

I'm wondering how other people make sure that they treat their children equally - in a way that is visably equal.

I think the only way you can actually treat your children equally in a way that looks it to them is to just make time for them individually. My DS1 hated to be touched so was rarely cuddled because he obviously couldn't stand it, while DS3 was a really cuddly child and was always draped around one of us. I have had to make an effort to listen to each child and stop one of the others butting in if one has something to say. It is hard- we've had cries of "he/ she is your favourite" but as the name of the favourite changes from time to time they've had to admit that actually that isn't true.