stopping breastfeeding

[mama1nenene]

Advice needed please. I am trying to stop breast feeding my 23 month old ds. he mainly feeds when he gets home from nursery in the evening and then he wakes in the night and looks for it (co-sleeping) . I have started to try go cold turkey through the nights and get him to drink water instead (as he doesn't like cows milk much). i managed most of last week...with him only moaning a little, maybe crying for a minute then rolling over and going back to sleep. Yesterday however...he cried that heart felt cry, i felt so guilty and bad...(i didn't give in) and after an hour or so he fell back to sleep but i was unable to sleep as i felt so bad that i may have been traumatizing him .

how did you stop, how did you manage going cold turkey and was it a long journey to stopping with a lot of tears? Do i just need to stick it out?

Thanks Moresnowplease. I do the comforting and tell him its ok and try to offer the water. i will keep at it. The crying is soo hard...but i think it is time to let go of the breastfeeding especially as i think it is more of a confort to him than anything else.

sorry no advice im trying to get my ds 17 months to stop bf but cant do the cry thing i dont have it in me :(

Well done you getting to 23 months. I found that once I had really made the decision (18 months), going almost cold turkey was surprisingly straightforward. There were tears and it is a really tough emotional experience, but if you are (reasonably) consistent then your DS will get it. We went down to one feed just before bed for a couple of weeks. Then that just seemed to fall by the wayside - my DS suddenly realised he could survive without breastfeeding (and I guess supply dwindled as well). With my second baby I knew more what to expect - that the decision to stop would be mine, not hers - so I found it easier to lead the way and stop when it was right for me (12 months). Otherwise no doubt I would still be feeding them both now (aged 5 and 3). I think cold turkey (or something close to it) can be kinder/easier than trying to "persuade" them away - as it is clearer what is happening - mine both dealt with it easily (considering how addicted they were beforehand).

We tried a few times with ds when he was just a little younger than yours, and I was pregnant and struggling with exhaustion and sickness but also guilt at depriving him! In the end we used a slightly modified version of the the Jay Gordon method (you can google it easily!). It is a very gentle way to do it, and you can slow down as you /he needs - we took a bit longer than he suggested , to minimise upset. In the end I was surprised how much I actually missed it too, but his sleep really improved, and it's actually also made him a bit closer to DH, as previously I was always the one point of comfort, so for our family it was a good time to stop.

There are also some great gentle tips for stopping feeding toddlers in the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. Good luck!

I too am trying to wean my 18 month old off. We have succeeded at night time with lots of cuddles, but it's the day time we're arruggling with. She gets really cross, screaming amd scrapping at my top! I don't know how to stop as she cries and I feel like I'm punishing her as she doesn't understand why she can't have any. But I really want to stop! It's sore :(

We also co-slept and I used to sleep with my back to him as he didn't wake up that way...dh would face him to make sure he was safe. At night before bed dh would do his bath and I'd often go out to get messages or a cuppa at my Mums so he was asleep when I got back...after a week of this he didn't ask for it and started waking less and only wanted water when he did. He just turned 2 when we did this...he was only using it for comfort.