What skills did your parents feel were important to pass on?

[wonderstuff]

Just occurred to me that I left home unable to iron, cook or budget, but able to mix a mean gin and tonic!

What essential skills did your parents pass on to you?

(sits sipping gin in dishevelled poverty)

That's really interesting squizita, thanks. I shall hope it never comes in useful!

How to cook, how to be independent and not ask for help (this goes too far though!), how to cope when life deals you some seriously crap cards, a love of travel and food and the confidence to try things like fix ovens and washing machines etc. Oh and that G&T time is 6pm sharp.

Sadly, not how to budget. I will be teaching my children how to budget and save, I have learned the hard way.

My DF taught me my 6 times table by writing it out on a big sheet a paper and sticking it on my bedroom wall

General things like tying my shoelaces, right and wrong, being kind and sharing etc.

But also how to research facts but be wary of the sources, garden, lay a fire and polish brass.

Find a rich man & marry him.

Neither happened

How to make a really good cannelloni (thanks dad )

Good work ethic, good manners and lots of practical stuff (I earned my pocket money) - all v working class.
And I'll never forget my mum telling me people should take you as you are and to be wary of anyone who criticizes/tries to change you.

I was able to cook well by the time I left home, but I'm not entirely sure how that came about - my mum hates cooking (although did teach me pastry and Christmas cake) and my dad enjoys cooking but rarely does it as mum doesn't like the mess or the fact it's usually something exotic that she won't eat!

Basic sewing and knitting.

Ironing (but DH had to show me how to work the washing machine when we got married ).

DIY - mum is brilliant at it even now she's in her 70's. She dismantled her fan oven and fitted a new element the other week with just a YouTube video to go on .

Also 'official' letter writing. My mum was PA and I've been able to write a good formal letter from a very young age, and been touch typing pretty much ever since I could sit upright and hit a typewriter key.

My parents taught me to do basic cookery, iron my clothes and be kind. DHs parents taught him to cook and be brilliant at DIY and doing up houses. Together we are a dream team

Freudian typo there...My mum was a PA..!

My father taught me not to pick up something heavy before I know where I am going to put it down.

My parents taught me that so many things, fun things, faintly extravagant things, occasionally slightly hedonistic things, adventurous things were dangerous, undesirable and Not For The Likes Of Us.

(well, they tried to teach me that anyway. Hence their absolute horror and fear when I went round the world instead of going and doing a PGCE, and abandoning teaching in order to start my own business).

I can make good pasta though.

Independence, cooking, cleaning, decorating, swimming. We couldn't afford a car, but if we could my mum would have encouraged me to learn to drive. I did learn at 22 after I had left home.

All household chores, cooking, DIY, budgeting, knitting, driving, some computer skills, tennis, cricket, chess.

How to speak (received pronunciation, elocution lessons, speech and drama exams).
How to love and all that kind of stuff.
How to talk to anyone and they paid through dint of very very hard work for a good private education from 4 - 18 and supported me through university and post grad.
How to give birth in a sense - mother one of first NCT members etc.
How to work hard and be self reliant.
How to sing and play the piano - both our parents were very music. I got 4 grade 8s etc.
How to drive - most of us passed our test aged 17 and parents paid for lessons. My older 3 children all passed at age 17 too.

How women can do anything men can - my mother was good with screw drivers,. had an allotment and that kind of thing.
Feminism of course - should be top of the list!

Also swimming (even though my mother could not swim she was very keen we could all learn and pass badges etc)

My dad's words of wisdom to me... 'never get a job where you are at the mercy of the general public.'

He was a gp..

Like Gennz, I'm a bit of a pinko too, on picket lines with my 'coal note dole' sticker at the age of 6 etc.... so although I no longer live in a council house, on a council estate, I still vote in that favour.

Education - very much 'get out now, get out whilst you can, do not spend your life working in the chicken factory, make something of yourself'. Whilst all my friends were on YTS's and earning money (albeit not a lot) I was at college, working two jobs to make sure I could afford university.

Music - both parents had a massive love of all music and passed it onto me

My Mum also used to say "If you've got an itch, then scratch it. Unless it's a bite, then leave it alone". I took this to mean some kind of philosophical view on life and doing what you want, living for the moment etc.... but chances are she was just taking about insect bites...

Goodness knows what they thought to be important, but as a child I learnt to sew, to knit, to cook, to lay and light a fire, to tend a garden and to grow vegetables, to use a map (and a compass), to decorate, to do basic DIY and lots of other stuff.

That all people are equal if it's based on race, religion, ability or sex but an asshole is still an asshole regardless of these. She also was an ardent feminist and empowered my sister and I to be confident go-getters.
My Ma

To take responsibility for specific roles/chores
To feed an aga
To cope without heating
To stay busy
To pray and read the Bible, attend Church (lost those ones now)
To make porridge properly
To make white sauce, gravy
To grind grains to make meal/flour
To milk a cow or goat
To make cheese
To kill an animal
To skin an animal and cure its hide
To rear and care for most farm animals
To rear abandoned wild animals
To visit and care for elderly village residents
To do most basic household cleaning chores and change plugs etc.
To do most basic outside gardening and maintenance chores inc painting
To read avidly
To challenge and discuss
To make decisions confidently
To be thorough
To be honest
To suck up pain
To never cry in front of others
To play chess
To ride horses
To not care about superficial appearances
To do things for their own value/purpose rather than for money
To sing in rounds when driving
To make up stories/adventures for each other
To appreciate what one has
To be self reliant
To survive

I'm hard pressed to think of anything! I taught myself to type, to cook, to budget-even though my Mum's good at these things she'd never have thought to teach me.

She tried to teach me how to get on in a work place-she's had a brilliant career. Unfortunately her advice was either dated or just not applicable to the places I worked, and I had it used against me!

Er... I suppose she did teach me to not be reliant on others. I'm an only child. And at one point I was worried about having friends and if they'd fall out with me I'd be upset. I think she taught me not to give a damn , at the end of the day.

To work hard
To pray and go to church
Told us about our family history
About the importance of family including extended family (have loads of cousins and we still meet up)
Music lessons
Cultural stuff, remember going to art galleries at a young age
Hobbies encouraged, crafting etc
Special family times at Christmas etc but it didn't have to be perfect it was just that we were altogether
Very proper mealtimes with proper napkins and grace (fail on this one far too slovenly)
To keep a clean house (see above)
Ironing and more cooking would have been good to know more of (not very good at either)

Lots to be thankful for x

My parents are absolute shitheads but they did teach me a few useful things. My dad taught me to rescue spiders gently instead of being afraid of them*, to "always bring the horse to the cart" (thought of that the other day when I almost carried a pan of boiling water over to the chopping board rather than vice versa) and to manage money carefully.

Mainly though my parents just taught me how to feel like shit about myself.

*sadly he was nicer to spiders than to me