Where can I get some patience? Help!

[Thewildthingsliveatmyhouse]

Hello. I feel like I am going mad. Hubby and I have 3 dc's. DD1 is almost 12, DS is 9 and DD2 is 7. He works full time, I work part time. We have 3 dogs (one is a puppy). I also do a voluntary thing which takes up some of my evening time.

I have zero patience. I feel like I just clear up after people all the time. I am constantly on at the kids to help me out around the house. DH is good and helps out where he can but I just feel so exhausted! When the kids were younger I was mostly at home with them and not working, but now I am trying to juggle more things I am struggling to stay on top of everything.

The kids say I don't like them to have fun, which is sort of true because it usually ends in tears!! The kids are generally good and people always report how well behaved they are, however at home I feel like I constantly nag.

It was mentioned at parent's eve lately that DS goes from 0-10 temper-wise with nothing in between and this makes things difficult with his friends. I am the same!!! How can I change this? I have tried "not to sweat the small stuff" but my DH can have a very laid back attitude towards behaviour, manners etc and I feel exasperated!!! Any help or advice appreciated please! Do I just need to lower my standards? I feel that the kids' behaviour is a reflection on me. Sometimes I just want to run away from it all!!! HELP!

Well congratulations, first of all, because at least you acknowledge that something is not working, regarding your Parenting. You know that you are not happy.

You are going through a very hard time of your life and every one feels like throttling their DCs aometimes.
However, the clues about what you are doing are there in the quote ' my DCs say I don't like them to have fun' I am afraid those words are very telling. Also 'struggling' and ' I just want to run away' and 'ends in tears! '

First of all your DCs did not ask to be born. I am sure they would rather have a happy Mum, than a pristine home.

I am afraid it sounds as though you are stressed because of your voluntary jobs etc. Decisions that you presumably made, such as having three dogs, may also have affected your stress levels.
It sounds as you are taking your stress out on your DCs.

They are only going to have one childhood and as the adult I am afraid it is up to you to do something about your behaviour and show some patience.

Every time you count to ten and behave calmly towards your DCs, you will be repaid in shedloads, when they become adults.

Also, Just make sure that you are not depressed as it can cause everything to get out of proportion.

I think a ' mindfulness ' course might help you to relax. Your GP will refer you.
If your DHs is relaxed through his pants, perhaps you might learn from him.

Man.. No real words of advice, just a solidarity fist bump. I only have a 15 month and I came in here to ask the same question. Children, home, work.. such a constant demand! How anyone has more than one kid I really don't know. Hope you find the equilibrium you need.