Guilt Help!

[kazza31]

Hi, I just need some reassurance from fellow mums! I'm a 1st time mum to a 5 month old and I constantly have a feeling of guilt with everything I do. If I leave lb on his mat to play on his own while I do jobs, I feel guilty I didn't play with him. If I go out with him in his pushchair and he ends up falling asleep, I feel guilty it wasn't me that rocked him to sleep. If I have to get him up early cos we're going out, I feel guilty he's had to get straight up and out - and so on...!! Is this normal? People say it is and the guilt never ends as a parent but ffs! I need to chill. I'm so tired tho that some days all I crave is a lie in (even til 9 o clock will do...) but then I feel guilty for thinking that...please reassure me!xx

I feel guilty all the bloody time. Dd is nearly 18 months. I know in my rational mind that I am doing my best with her and that she is a happy, well looked after child, but I still feel guilty.

I was in a complete state a couple of weeks ago because I had an awful cold and we hadn't gone out for two days and I was sure she was bored out of her brain. I was sobbing to my dm that I had let her down etc. She told me to give myself a break but I can't!

It's just nice to be told other people fee the same and ur not going insane -haha!! My lb is so good and rarely cries which is why I feel guilty like i do, cos he never causes a fuss with anything. My husband works constant nights so I do a lot on my own so i think tiredness takes over the rational thinking sometimes,x

Definitely. Tiredness makes it so much worse.

Yes, sounds totally normal to me! I've found that I've relaxed more and more as DS has got older. At the moment your baby is very new and a massive focus of your life, but eventually you'll start to think of him fitting in to your life. The fact is that, for example, you do have to have some time to get jobs done, or god forbid, sit and take a few minutes for yourself, and if your baby is happy enough playing by himself for a little while, that's fantastic. Good for him. Sometimes you do have to get up and out early. Sometimes you can't rock him to sleep and if he's tired he'll have to take himself off to sleep. These are all things that your DS will eventually have to learn (unless you still want to be rocking him to sleep when he's 35!) so just look upon these sorts of things as another aspect of his development. Go easy on yourself. Your job for the first year of his life is keep him alive, and try not to go mad in the process! Everything else will be fine!

Thats a really good post thank you so much. I think I just had a bad day last week and needed to know I wasnt losing my mind! People do tell you, but it certainly is tough this parenting malarkey...so many mixed emotions. Thanks though, I appreciate that.x

Your welcome! Take care, and enjoy! X

As a mum of 2 young ones, yes, this is normal to some degree and you always have this. It does get better when you area less tired, and baby is older and you feel more experienced as a mum.

On the other hand, too much guilt would indicate perhaps a lot of anxiety and/or forms of OCD developing which can each be a indicators of post natal depression. So it's worth keeping that in mind, and keeping your guilt in check. I have first hand experience and I know this stuff can be brushed under the carpet as it's "normal" so thought just worth saying.

So as long as it's taking over your life with baby and making you severely anxious, it's probably just normal mum-guilt!

So long as it's NOT taking over...

Information typo! Lol

Unfortunate. Darn phone. I'm going now!