Baby doesn't let go at night

[dmuk]

Our 12 week old hangs onto the breast for 2-3 hours each night before going to sleep. She is in a light sleep during time, feeding intermittently however it is mostly a comfort thing.

If we try and put her down earlier she cries or stays awake (leading to her crying after a few minutes).

We are considering introducing a dummy as a substitute? (Although she hasn't used one at all since birth.)

Is there anything else we can try?

Swaying and rocking don't seem to work. She prefers the 2-3 hours to fall asleep.

That's a toughy. Are you feeding lying down so that you get get some sleep during this time?

I'd try a dummy.
No harm in trying.
Easier to wean them off than their thumb.

Oh and have you tried swaddling too?

How long is your baby sleeping for in total? 2-3 hours at a time is all mine would manage at that age. I would have been driven mad if I was unable to put him down in between feeds! I really feel for you!
Can you hold her hand while she is feeding and gradually pull her hand away as she falls asleep?

I'm so, so, sorry. My DD was like this, would only sleep when suckling. It caused no end of problems. By 9 weeks she had stopped napping altogether. By the time she was 9months she was waking up to 12 times a night and I was half crazed by sleep deprivation and she was one grumpy unhappy baby. I look back now and see a baby with big puffy eyes who was so tired. I made lots of really bad decisions because I was so tired and couldn't think straight. I can't tell you the amount of times I crawled into the cot and nursed her to sleep, for example.

In the end, under the guidance of my HV, we did some controlled crying. It worked in as much as she no longer woke up 12 times a night, but still didn't knap and still was only sleeping 8/9 hours a day. She now sleeps more now as a primary aged child than she did as a baby.

I wish now we'd done CC earlier to sort out sleep issues. I understand attachment theory and how it can affect brain development, and the effects that CC can have but in my opinion a short term intervention is going to cause less harm that months of lack of sleep for both baby and mother. That too affects a babies development and wellbeing.

Hope that's useful

I would try a dummy. I know some people are horrified by them, but I found them an absolute lifesaver and my DD got so much comfort from them.

I found learning to lie down while feeding was the answer in the night. There is lots of great advice about safe co sleeping now on the net and Le leche league website. In the day, I know it is a cliche but a sling would allow you to potter around the house while she slept hanging on. She is still very small so may be getting quite a bit of milk even when you think she is just suckling on nothing. Even if it is a comfort thing, it is still a valid thing for a baby to want to do. Cuddles and skin to skin/ suckling are just as important to babies as nutrition really. I have been through this and it really is hard and you feel all touched out by 9pm already. It does get better in a couple of months, it may even only be a couple of weeks.

Try the dummy again. Some babies just need to suck more than others. It's worth a try-if she'd hungry she'll spit it out and demand boob.

Have you heard of the no cry sleep solution? It is specifically about transitioning off the boob for comfort.