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Original poster

Chicken pox party?

53 replies

Millie3030 · 23/03/2015 22:06

Hi, my friends little girl has chicken pox and has asked if I want to go round there tomorrow, her little girl is 3 and my DS is nearly 2. My DH thinks it's crazy to potentially let my DS catch it and cause him discomfort, I think it may be better while he is young, he doesn't really know how to scratch himself as such and his skin should heal well with scarring while he is so little. (No guarantee he will catch it obviously) but what are your thoughts? I know kids that have caught it at 15/16 and the scarring is bad especially on their face.

OP posts:

Fanjango · 24/03/2015 00:44

They will most likely catch it in the normal school, nursery way. My twins caught it at 2yo, they were covered but okay, my younger dd was only 6 months. It was horrible, her clothes stuck to the scabs which came off despite the fact she couldn't scratch them and she still, aged 8, bears the scars

nix28nix · 24/03/2015 01:25

I have to say the answers on this post really put me off the idea of submitting a question on this site, a lot of rude answers and comments when someone has simply asked advice. It used to be the case with chicken pox that you exposed your child to it early on, yes times have changed but there is a polite way to put that. I hope Millie found the answers helpful and isn't put off asking for help on any other matters.

zoemaguire · 24/03/2015 01:34

9 out of 10 children will catch chicken pox at some point. So I have to admit I don't quite get what is so horrifically irresponsible about trying to control the timing. 9 out of 10 times you are just trying to exert some small positive influence on something that will happen anyway. And positive influence is the right word, since it is unquestionably the case that cp is more dangerous when caught as an older child or adult. I don't think there is a great deal of logic to some of the handwringing on this thread.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2 year olds General health General parenting Skin conditions

AwakeButNotForLong · 24/03/2015 02:33

Agree with zoemaguire. Can anyone give an explanation that takes into account that everyone has a high chance of getting it at some point in their life?

Nandocushion · 24/03/2015 03:15

I'm baffled by this thread. Aren't children in the UK vaccinated against chicken pox? Children in US and Canada are.

CheerfulYank · 24/03/2015 03:34

No Nando, I don't think they are. I'm in the US and my kids have been vaccinated. I wasn't as a kid and got it...it was rough.

Nandocushion · 24/03/2015 03:43

My brother still has scars from it. There's no way I'd willingly allow my children to catch it, and thanks to the vaccine, they don't have to. My mother has also had shingles - something you can only get if you have had chicken pox - which was extremely painful for her.

Handsupbabyhandsup · 24/03/2015 04:15

I exposed my eldest to chicken pox and for exactly the same reasons you are thinking about it.

But the aftermath was horrible! For the next 21 days I felt like I had to quarantine my child and I felt so incredibly guilty for doing it. And she didn't end up catching it!

So my suggestion is not to do it

QOD · 24/03/2015 04:39

zoe ... as said by a couple of folk it'sthe intentional exposure bit.
my dn was intentionally exposed. To her cousin who is 25, nursing degree, married and pregnant. Both mums took a decision to mix the girls when the older got it. Dn s big bro was fine, dn got a couple of spots but it's the ones on her brain that did the damage.
what caused the real damage has been the guilt. Her mum chose to expose her, not fate, not one of those things, she actively exposed her and has had to live with it since.
It's very very sad

and no we don't vaccinate against it here as mostly it's a mild (pfffft) childhood illness.

I expect it'd be added to the mmr to reduce costs and all that would start again!

QOD · 24/03/2015 04:42

Sorry didn't explain too well but I describe other dn for the comparison.
One is still n t and has a great future
The other is a happy soul mostly but doesn't have the future she should have

zoemaguire · 24/03/2015 06:17

Yes, I can see that the guilt must be very hard to live with,I do understand that. Chicken pox can have horrific consequences, and to be honest if I'd seen how ill it would make ds, who caught it off his sister, I might well have opted to vaccinate. Personally I wouldn't risk a cp party for the intentionality reasons you mention. But with a strictly risk based position, i can see that I'm not being logical, because the risk of encephalitis and other hideous complications is much higher when you catch it later in life. So while it wouldn't be my personal choice, I don't think I can react with outraged horror at somebody else taking a different approach to intentional exposure.

zoemaguire · 24/03/2015 06:19

Not suggesting you did, btw, but the tone of some of the responses has been pretty aggressive.

sparing · 24/03/2015 06:41

The chicken pox vaccine is added to the mmr here. I don't understand why it's not done in the UK.

sparing · 24/03/2015 06:43

There are a few topics on the MN where the OP is (apparently) freely open to a savaging.

One of those topics is chicken pox parties. See also baby ear piercing, step mothers and parking in P&C spaces....

Original poster

Millie3030 · 25/03/2015 08:46

Thanks ladies, you have given some good advice I'm staying at home with my DS. I didn't realise some of the complications associated with chicken pox and no, I wouldn't do well with the guilt if he got really poorly.

There are some really lovely people on mumsnet that will give information and advice and it really helps, makes you think and be a better mum and see things from a different perspective. Thank you for your responses.

Then there are the others - Why can't an answer just be polite and helpful, what does being a bit blunt or rude actually achieve other than offence?

OP posts:

mandy214 · 25/03/2015 09:14

I don't think people are intentionally rude (or at least I hope not) but there are some issues where people, through personal experience, feel very strongly. If I'm one of the people who came across as rude, I apologise. Glad you're staying home .

MigGril · 25/03/2015 09:20

I think a really balanced approach is to see if they naturally catch it while young. which most children will. Am currently nursing DSWho's 4 with chickenpox DD his big sister has already had it. Then off they are one of the few who don't catch it young pay for the vaccine.

Which is what we had intended to do, there are some advantages to the wild strain over vaccination. which I believe is why the UK hasn't taken up the vaccine generally as yet. They have chosen to vaccinate against shingles instead.

Original poster

Millie3030 · 25/03/2015 12:12

Not at all mandy you gave advice and explained why due to what happened to a family friend, that is helpful and is what people on mumsnet want, advice or personal experience from someone more experienced than them.

I had never actually heard of a chicken pox vaccine so thank you for everyone that suggested that, I will probably look into that if he doesn't catch it at nursery in the next year or two.

OP posts:

Smerlin · 09/04/2015 09:26

I am vaccinating my DD against it- just done first dose and one to go.

I caught chicken pox while in mid primary and found it a thoroughly miserable experience that I remember well now,even without some of the horrific complications mentioned here.

In counties like the US and Germany it is virtually unheard of as they vaccinate!

Cost is £65 a shot which for us is worth it to spare her the pain. Plus who knows how much time we'd end up taking off work if she caught it!

Original poster

Millie3030 · 09/04/2015 14:20

Did you have to go to a private clinic or pay at the GP?

This thread made me want the vaccine now, is does seem so strange we don't vaccinate against it when there could be complications. I caught chicken pox at a young age and shingles in my teens, but both were not really that bad, even though the doctor said my shingles was pretty shocking when I lifted my top up, but it was ok and went without any scars.

I remember going to a baby first aid course a year or so ago and asking about chicken pox and why we wouldn't want to encourage out LOs to get it and they had no answers as to why. You ladies have actually taught me more about it than the two St.Johns ambulance women, so thank you!

OP posts:

Smerlin · 09/04/2015 16:29

I didn't even ask GP to be honest. I knew from other Mums that you could get it on Harley St but the cost was eye watering so ended up getting it from Citydoc who do private vaccinations at a fair few clinics.

Justusemyname · 09/04/2015 16:33

Don't do it. He would soon learn how to scratch! My DD was very poorly with chicken pox.

daluze · 09/04/2015 21:12

UK hasn't adopted chickenpox vaccination under NHS, because of the fears that it will increase incidence of shingles (wider vaccination from shingles just started taking place). I.e. exposure to children with chickenpox works as a booster of immunity against varicella in adults.
There are no advantages in having disease over vaccination - and numerous disadvantages, starting from child actually being ill to the risk of very serious complications. Numerous countries have vaccination in the routine schedule.
That said, the risk of serious complications is not high, and by some reason a lot of people still think that vaccines are bad.

LittleLionMansMummy · 10/04/2015 08:36

There can be complications with absolutely every illness - dehydration from stomach bugs, quinsy from tonsillitis, heart failure from flu etc etc. The fact remains that thousands upon thousands of children get chicken pox every year and suffer no more than discomfort for a few days. Ds got it at 2 - he was covered in spots but was otherwise full of life. Dniece got it - not so many spots, but less well in herself. Absoutely everybody I know or have ever heard from in my entire life (other than on these boards) has grown up with chicken pox as a pretty normal part of life with no ill effects. Every time you take a child out of the house (or stay in even) they are at risk of catching something life threatening that, in the vast majority of situations, does not actually transpire. I am not sure I would deliberately expose ds to chicken pox though any more than i would deliberately expose him to flu - more because I don't want him to suffer than because he might have a massive and life threatening reaction to it.

Dniece caught it from ds before his spots came out - my sister knew that ds had been in close proximity with another child who had already shown symptoms so there was a high chance he'd get it. I think though there's a huge difference between keeping children away from each other on the off chance they are contagious and knowing full well that they are.

I hope this helps OP - just wanted to provide a bit more context!

PisforPeter · 10/04/2015 08:41

Ridiculos suggestion, chicken pox can cause pneumonitis, encephalitis etc. I paid good money to have my 2 vaccinated against it. Worth every penny.

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