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Parenting

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Original poster

Just a little advice, comfort, support needed here please!

15 replies

CaptainDippy · 30/10/2006 11:28

Be nice to me - It is my 1st time!

I started potty training DD1 (2.8) on Friday. She was getting to the point where I was actually frightened of changing her nappy TBH. She would sream, kick, bite, scratch and she is a big, strong, strapping lass and I am 15 weeks PG to top everything off!! Eeeeek!

So far she has done a few wees on the toilet (about 8ish), but I have admit it is very exhausting and I am really struggling.

She is enjoying her sticker chart, but it doesn't seem to be enough incentive for her, iykwim!!?

She changes her mind about whether she wants to go to the toliet or not every 5 secs.

She often refuses to sit on the potty / toilet, throwing herself on the floor and screaming and kicking after she has told me that she wants to go.

She'll go on the toilet, do a little wee, then wet herself 5 mins later.

She refuses to do a poo on the toilet and gets herself into a real state about needing a poo. She gets to the point where she wets herself because she doesn't want to do the poo, iykwim!!?

She waits all day and then does the poo in the bath in the evening.

She absolutely point blank refuses to put a nappy on for naps / doing a poo / going to bed so wets everything and anything.

I am trying to be very nice and kind and patient and I know that "Rome wasn't built in a day", but I just wanted to know if any of you nice parents out there could give me some support / advice / reassurance / anything cos I am really struggling; but really sick of being beaten up when I try to put a nappy on her ....

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NAB3 · 30/10/2006 11:51

What does she want to do? Does she realise it is all getting to you and is she the type to play on it?
My advice was going to be to put her back in nappies as you can't have her just weeing everywhere. Could you be firmer with her and make it quite plain there is to be no kicking, etc and have a consequence so she gets the message?
I don't feel she is ready, or wanting to do it yet so maybe wait?

throckenholt · 30/10/2006 12:08

give her the choice - nappies or potty - but make sure she knows that both options mean no kickig etc

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 30/10/2006 12:21

Unfortunately, her choice is knickers every time - perhaps it is the novelty?? She definitely doesn't want to put the nappy back on atm, very adamant!! There are consequences in this house - we have the naughty stair and I take away priviledges if bad behaviour continues, but she is just sooo violent when it comes to nappy changes etc.

Feeling a bit desperate atm tbh.

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ginmummy · 30/10/2006 12:36

Hi CaptainDippy

Have you tried pull ups? You could coax her that they're like big girl's pants and she can pull them down if she wants to try a wee on her potty. I also found that exaggerated praise worked, i.e. applause for even the tiniest tiddle in the potty and even just for trying when he thought he wanted to go.

DS (just turned 3) is going through the same phase now. He refuses to have a poo on his potty most of the time and asks for a pull up nappy on when he wants one. Saying that, he did have a big poo in his potty on Friday but he wanted me there in the bathroom with him and he wanted to hold my hand whilst he was doing it. He's almost there with the wees and wearing pants through the day, it's just the poos we've got to master now. Apparently, they've said at nursery that poo training takes a lot longer to come with boys than girls but it's a while after wee training for both sexes.

As for the lashing out physically, try getting on her level, taking both her hands, look directly into her eyes and say in a calm, controlled voice that 'mummy doesn't hit and bite you so please don't do it to me because it's not nice and you hurt me and my feelings when you do it'. If she carries on hitting you try walking away from her and whatever you're doing and say something like you're not playing with her (or whatever it is you're doing) if she's going to hit you.

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 30/10/2006 13:27

Thank you ginmmummy - that helps a lot re: fighting. Haven't got much time to post, but will be back later to see what others have said!!

She just pooed her pants - GREAT!

OP posts:

NAB3 · 30/10/2006 16:09

Nappy in a potty helps with some children who are scared to poo. It is a familiar feeling on their bottom but they are starting to learn about going on the potty.

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 30/10/2006 18:31

Interesting one NAB - might try that one - had no wee accidents today, but THREE poo accidents - >

Keep 'em coming .....

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Original poster

CaptainDippy · 31/10/2006 09:17

Bumping for more help!!??

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SarahLG · 31/10/2006 14:35

Hi there, I sympathise. We had quite an easy time of it but had MUCH more success when we upped the stakes on the incentivisation... OK, let's say it like it is... bribery. We really cracked it when there were sweets available for producing a wee or a poo, generally more sweets, say 3, for a poo. The star chart is a good start but you need to be relentless on the mega praise when anything is produced in the potty, involving lots of clapping. Also, can you show your DD an example of another child of the same age who is potty trained, the example can really galvanise them into action and make them think that nappies are only for babies. Good luck, with perseverance you will get there in the end.

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 31/10/2006 15:23

Cheers SarahLG - Thinking that we do need to up the bribery stakes a little - sticker chart is good, but just not quite cutting it, especially when it comes to poos - Thinking chocolate buttons might help a lot! I am pretty good on the over-enthusiastic mega praise - clapping, cheering and whooping are all on the agenda after even the tiniest of dribbles - DD2 is pretty good at joining in too. She is 18 months and is pretty good at clapping and shrieking!!

All of DD's little chums are toilet trained, so no shortage of volunteers willing to show her how it is done!!

Thank you!

OP posts:

SarahLG · 31/10/2006 16:57

Glad to help. Just had a another thought, there are numerous story books on potty training involving hilarous pictures of zoo animals pooing. We must have got 4 or 5 out from our local library on the subject. Maybe this sort of visualisation would help your DD. The stories might make her think that it is all a big laugh

SarahLG · 31/10/2006 16:58

Also stickers on the potty went down really well, maybe stick the stars that were going to go on the star chart on the potty instead... our DD loved that

DontWorryMunz · 01/11/2006 10:01

Ooooh, yes, DD loves books - good idea! We've got a book about Pants and the classic "I want my potty" which she enjoys - may be we should branch out a little!!? Mmmmmmm.....

We're not really using the potty, just the toilet so not too sure about stickers, but we'll see - You are a star - Thank you Sarah!!

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 01/11/2006 10:18

Sorry about - name changing for another thread and forgot to change back - I must be PG!!

OP posts:

SarahLG · 01/11/2006 10:29

It's a pleasure. Thinking of you and am sure there will be a breakthrough soon.

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