looking after a toddler & newborn

[mrstothemr]

Ds will be two when the new one arrives. He's used to us being together as I'm a sahm, and I love this too, but I'm trying to work out how best to navigate the first few weeks back at home, when dh is back at work and it's just the three of us.

I figure on using the Newborn sling a lot and taking ds to all the same local playgroups as now, but sometimes even that sounds too much - so maybe more home playtimes straight after the birth.
Am worrying that ds might get bored / angry at having to deal with sharing, and that I'll be pooped and feel guilty for not doing more with ds. What are your experiences? Maybe none of these things will be issues?

We've booked to see a nursery on Thurs for two mornings a week, but it's quite expensive. He's also gone quite clingy recently.

Sorry, that was a bit epic. Love to hear how everyone else has made it work (no family nearby)

Ds1 was 2 1/2 when ds2 arrives, I don't wish to sound dismissive but I found best approach was to 'wing it' I'd planned all sorts and hadn't factored in ds2 having reflux which threw my hope of spending long nap times playing with ds1, as I could rarely put baby down..

Red yeah I wondered if I shouldn't ponder so much, just really want to try my best to keep the transition as easy as possible for ds

We have a 16 month gap weve kept the big one in nursery part time so dont go to toddler groups etc.
I put the little one on a loose schedule and really worked on self settling and getting use to the cot and pram and obv had luck aa she is quite an easy baby. Older kid was already use to playing alone sometimes which is uswful when youve a feed to do.

Also weve ha no jelousy issues but are quite clear with what belongs to each child and dont give the baby things the older child thinks are his which seems to help as if we say someething belongs to the baby he takes it too her.
We are only two months in though.

Hi, Ive got a one week old and a 2.5 yr old. I was also a bit worried about looking after the 2 of them but so far its working ok.
They both need me but they need different things so im not finding it too difficult to divide my atyention between them. So baby needs holding but not talking too. Toddler needs plenty of chatting and attention but can wait for cuddles if baby is feeding.
Yy to going to toddler groups with baby in a sling. Its good to keep the routine the same as possible imo. It can feel like a struggle to get out but it is worth it for the company and your baby will be recieved like visiting royalty!
Im also making an effort to fuss over the older one a bit. So when the midwife comes I make a point of introducing him first "This is Ds- hes the biggest one. This is the space rocket he got for being the big brother"
I ve also encouraged family and friends to bring presents for my toddler rather than the baby when they visit.
So far, its going OK but obviously still very early days. Good luck OP.

Hi I have 17 months between mine and I remember, towards the end of my pregnancy with dd, slowing right down and staying at home quite a lot. We read books, cooked, watched tv, he pottered around and played with his toys - I tried to get him used to entertaining himself and doing things for himself such as feeding, dressing, getting toys out and tidying up etc.

When dd came along, he still attended nursery (he had gone beforehand because I worked), which gave him time to run off steam and me time to rest and bond with dd.

He didn't show any signs of jealousy and we made a big effort to include him and get him to help look after the baby. I tried my best to still give him 1-1 time a few times a day (dd had to cry sometimes; you'll probably find that you have no choice but to let your 2nd baby cry more often or for longer than with your 1st) and to keep up with his daily routine.

It is hard work having a baby and a toddler but it does get easier quite quickly with each new milestone and inch towards independence and the payoff is having 2 (or more!) children who are close, who play together and share common interests.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! (Sorry if my answer makes little sense; I have ds here climbing all over me, talking at me and putting his head in front of the screen!)

I'm in a similar position to you but we'll have just short of a 19 month gap between ds and the new baby. I've started leaving him for periods to play on his own and he's pretty good, he certainly doesn't need constant attention. I'm a SAHM too and we do 4 toddler groups a week, two of which will be really easy with a baby too so I'm hoping to keep them up.
When are you due? I'm due in July and I'm hoping that the weather will be good so that a trip to the park will amuse him for a bit! We're going to move house before the baby's born and get somewhere with a little garden. We're going to get a sandpit, chalk, paints and things that, since we've never had a garden, might be a novelty for him.
I've started buying toys when I see them going cheap, nct sales, charity shops etc and am putting them away for after the baby comes. I'm hoping to bf so think that some new toys brought out just for feeding might be useful. We've also "saved" swimming lessons with dp as something they can do together starting just after dd is born.
For the most part we'll muddle through. I'm anticipating a great deal of C Beebies

We also used nursery to get us through . Really helped for the days where I couldn't muster the energy to do much. I also had a play date at the house once a week and a stay and play. You'll get through x

Thanks for all the replies!

I really like some of those ideas, helping ds to play alone a bit more, not sharing toys between them, and making him feel important to guests etc. Interesting about them needing different things from you too, hadn't even clocked that. Playdates at ours one day a week will really help take the pressure off too.

I'm only a few weeks in (due early November) so a while to go before I need to worry! am a compulsive planner though, and this lot really helps me.

We're looking to move as well, current place is a bit small and whilst we do have a garden it's a bit dangerous for ds to play in unmonitored. Really hoping for a nice safe grassy garden where he can romp unhindered.

Thanks again

Our garden isnt espcially safe so we plan to build a small children garden with chickenwire fencing and have the sandpit, baby slide etc inside that bit so when we need to pop inside to change one of them the other can stay outside safely contained and away from the dogs (chicken wire is fairly cheap and you can get plastic coated if you want to).

we've a baby gate on the living room for the smae reason although I tend to use that to keep the toddler away from the baby if I need to do something while she sleeps and the toddler roams around the house.