Sometimes I feel like a bad mother

[mascaraohara]

Not all the times but sometimes I feel like I let my dd down... the house could be tidier, I could spend more time with her, I could be more organised

Just wondering if anybody else ever feels like this.

This morning's pang was when dd got a pair of knickers out of her draw to get dressed and asked if they would fit her and what age they were for... this is because I don't clear out her draws/wardrobe often enough and half the things that are in there don't fit her anymore which means she normally gets dressed with clothes I get out of the airing cupboard rather than clothes she gets out of her wardrobe

at least you can say not all the time, with me it IS all the time.The clothes don't fit, they don't get enough attention, the clothes need washing ansd I can't find anything ever, organisation is like a foreign word to me, I'm crabby , tired and a shit mum

only sometimes?
If I don't conciously stop myself thinking about what I "should" & "ought" to do for my two I would be a gibbering guilty wreck !! I think life would be a lot easier if those 2 words were banned!!

That's exactly how I feel Trinity!

I can never finbd anything either.. my 4yo puts me to shame.. I feel sad cos she has to remind about things as well, what we're supposed to be doing, when, what she needs to take to school etc..

we are mums though - ergo we are wonderful, life giving people yes?

do you laos not shower as often as you should, forget to bath the kids, never know what to make for tea, feeling huge guilt about the above and also the horrid, unloving wife you are, not enough(well not any) sex for hubby. can't seem to help dd1 and dd2 share so they are always fighting and crying. hate the fact I get angry with dd1 hen she doesn't eatm, swear too much, stink .......I could go on

And you know what I have NO IDEA how to stop it all, the first thing I am doing is forcing myself to have a shower today.....one step at a time oh and there is NOTHING to eat in the hoiuse, that needs sorting too, mind you not sure theres money left for that hmmm fuck I hate being shit

Well I often feel like a bad mum but probably not for this sort of thing. I think I'm great actully because I do some ironing, cooking cleaning etc when I find the whole thing so tedious. My flat still looks like a tip though .

I feel like a bad mum when I shout, get impatient or miss something important my ds is trying to tell me/show me because I am preoccupied. The rest of the stuff listed above (eg cleaning,cooking, washing) etc I don't do that well and I do feel quite bad about it but I really don't think it makes me a bad mum.

Mind you I know things get more complicated as they get older so something like forgetting it is 'mufty' day at school or forgetting to send things in they need will probably make me feel like a bad mum when they happen (which I know they proably will )

I'd give yourself a break - there are enough things to feel guilty about in parenting without sweating the really small stuff.

absolutely iris!!!

givers of life we are...how cares if the house is tidy ???

your kids don't really care if their clothes come out of the wardrobe or airing cupboard.....they care about being loved & secure...which is not dependant on an immaculate house & organised drawers!

I do shower everyday but dd only gets a bath about once a week probably (even though I do aim for more often it never happens)

as for the 'howe often do you' thread... hoover??? now that did make me feel bad!

i hear what you are saying but being in complete dissaray in every aspect of the house and life leads me to being unable to remember anything, think straight, be calm and loving, etc ect, it's like a snowball effect or something

my hoover has dust on and ironing!!??!! don't make me laugh, mt mate who satys over is the only person who uses our iron

ah, trinity, I am at one with you...

mascara...my answer was 'not often enough'!!!

what is the point of tidying throughout the day....twill only get messy again..when the kids are faste asleep.it gets done,then i can enjoy a tidy house for the evening...

i bath the kids together every night, only because i can then sort some laundry out in the bathroom while they are splashing about and give the loo a clean...multi tasking!!

sometimes tis enought to remember to breathe.....

A woman's work is never done... so don't try and do it all at once!

Trinity - I hope I am not speaking out of turn, as I don't know you or your situation at all, but you sound rather depressed to me. I wonder whether it might be worth a trip to the GP, to ask about referral for counselling? If this seems cheeky, just pretend I didn't say anything, but the tone of your posts on this thread made me concerned.

tonight, I'm going to make an effort to get all the mounds of washing into the machine and get through my ironing pile!

Bugmum might be on to something about the depression thing, Trinity. Do go to your doctor if you feel depressed. I speak from experience.

Guys! Let's not all be so hard on ourselves. Those of you who say you're bad Mums, I just bet you so aren't, and your kids think you're the greatest. Right? Being a Mum, although highly rewarding, has got to be the hardest job in the world. Think on this, we have got to be:

Mum
Sometimes Dad
Cook
Chauffeur
Teacher
Counseller
Referee
Friend/Confidante

All those roles in one person.

Feel better now?

Oh Trinity I feel exactly the same flower.

My mother came over yesterday and saw all my washing that never seems to go down and told me to "bag it up" and drop it round at hers

I definetly don't spend enough time with them, and get abit shouty when they want me to play when I am trying to clean.

Another problem I have is remembering dates such as school plays, end of terms my childminder is like my childrens diary.

I try and make up for it by giving lots of cuddles and kisses and always telling them how much I love them.