hand hold please - going back to work

[babaluscious]

Going back to work Monday. Feeling miserable. LO is only 4 months old and has been EBF. Not taking well to bottle. Feel so sad for her, me and her Dad who will have to cope with her crying. Keep wishing something would happen to make it so I don't have to go. Please tell me it will be ok.

It will be fine. Babies who are breast fed do not take to a bottle that well at first. They do fine though after a few weeks, so keep trying. Try varying the temperature, some like it quite hot, others will have it room temp. Also try different teats.

In my experience caring for babies when mums go back to work, babies will go on milk strike initially. They will breast feed a lot first thing in the morning and immediately upon mum coming home. So be prepared for that.

During the day they will take very little milk via bottle. So get Dad or whomever is caring for her, to use small amounts of milk at first. Frequency of feeding may need to increase. Keep a milk log for bottle feeds - how much is consumed, start time of the feed. A log can help a GP should it be necessary to seek medical advice.

Thanks nannynick am planning to express to take the pressure off breasts during the day and feed as much as possible during the morning and evening. Hubby had some success feeding this afternoon with a small cup. But only a small amount taken. Would you increase feeds from every 3 hrs (as she is now)?

When you are not there I would try feeding on demand. At first they take so little that you don't want to restrict it.

Thanks again nannynick I really appreciate the advice.

It will be fine, honestly. You will feel like you have abandoned her, she (who has no concept of time) will think that you have left her with DH for five minutes. I cried buckets both times I went back to work, one at four months, the other at six months. You'll soon get into a routine - I continued BF both of them - on demand when I was there as nanny suggested. You'll surprise yourself one day when you realise how nice it is sometimes to skip off out of the house to be with grown ups all day and then rush home for cuddles - perfect!

Thanks Lara2 im sure you are right. But it doesnt feel like that now. Am hiding upstairs while DH tries to feed her and all I can hear is her screaming. Its all my fault! I should have introduced a bottle sooner. Now it is urgent and so stressful for DH and me. I understand why hes angry with me but it is so upsetting.

Bumping for advice... experiences of other mums/dads would be really helpful

Tell your DH not to be cross - my DS took a bottle early on and then refused it later.....you can't depend on these things. Where will your DD be when you're at work? My DS went to nursery full time when he was 5 months old and within a week they had him downing bottles. Once you're not there she'll act totally differently! I was so worried and it turned out to be all over nothing which hopefully it will be for you too.

Forgot to say the refusing came in the overnight leading up to me going back to work so I had a similar feeling of pressure and panic. Please don't blame yourself. And also tell DH (gently) that the most likely reason for her screaming so much is that she's picking up on his stress!!!

Fortnight!! Not overnight. Pregnant with DC2 and have such bad baby brain....

Your DH should not be angry with you. It's not your fault for not introducing a bottle earlier. Many many babies won't take a bottle at any point, some will take a bottle when small and then not when older. It's impossible to predict, really it is.

Your DH needs to be working as a team and supporting you, not being angry.

I had to go back at 7.5months and thought ds would never take a bottle but he soon got the hang of it. I was amazed how he never cried when I left him with the childminder. He loves it there! And an unexpected bonus is that when I wanted to stop breastfeeding at one year he switched to a bottle of cow's milk without batting an eyelid. I have many friends whose ebf babies won't take cow's milk although the mums would love to stop breastfeeding.
I never forced a bottle on him, just let him 'play' with one once a day in the 2 weeks leading up to me going back to work. I stuck to one bottle type and kept it very calm and non-threatening. One day he seemed to realise there was milk inside and guzzled the lot!

Letting them play with a bottle is worth trying. May help them see it as something not to be scared about.

Any progress?