Child Bereavement Advice please - GGP about to pass any day.

[Normal4Norfolk]

Thankfully this isn't a huge parental loss type bereavement question. But my 99yo Nan is looking like she's about to pass very soon.

We have dd5 and ds3 who although aren't hugely close to their GGM as such, they know her, remember her, talk about her and really enjoy our visits to see her. My DD in particular. I'm anticipating her death will bring about a lot of confusion, questions and sadness for them both.

I have no idea what to tell the DCs when she passes. Do I forewarn them? Or do I tell them after it happens? How do I explain it? Do we take them to the funeral?

The concept of death won't be new to them, as we frequently have to kill ants (!) and see dead animals on the road and talk about that etc. I did have to tell DD there's a choice of heaven or an after-life when she got very upset about getting old, dying and never living again, so this will have to feature as part of the conversations we have!

If anyone has any experience in this area, I'd greatly appreciate any advice, or suggestions as to where to go to get some.

It's not something we've had to deal with yet but hopefully some kind MNer will be along soon. In the meantime have some and these

When DD's grandmother was dying we told her in a matter of fact way - we followed the advice given by a cancer charity - that her GM was very very sick and she wouldn't get better, and that she would die. We also found the Paper Dolls book by Julia Donaldson very useful as it deals with loss and memories in a very child-friendly way.

I think this link from Cancer Research UK was one of the ones we looked at

Well I don't know what the 'right' answer is, but this is what I've been doing in a similar situation..
My MIL is about to die. We have a 6yo and a 4yo DD. I've been pretty straightforward with them, they know she is ill, DD1 asked if she was going to die as I was emphasising that she was very poorly, and I said yes she probably was. They have a fair idea what it means as we have had two dogs die.
I don't believe in heaven, god,etc so I haven't mentioned this. I suppose I've just taken the approach that it's what happens in life, hopefully when we get old (sadly MIL not actually that old, but not pointing that out obviously!) and that it's very sad and we will all be sad. They seem to be fairly accepting of it, taking it in a very matter of fact way. I am trying to avoid pretending it might not happen or saying that she will fall asleep etc, perhaps this seems a bit harsh but I don't see the point of fluffing it really. I will definitely take them to the funeral, I don't want it to seem like a mystery.

My grandfather died last year when DC were 5 and 2. He was 90 & in poor health. We had naturally had conversations about why he couldn't talk clearly (stroke), walked with a stick - I explained that his body was old & wearing out, eventually he would die, so when he did die they understood it in that context. My 5 yo was upset but not particularly so.