18 month age gap - advice please!

[studentvera]

Hi does anyone have an 18 month age gap between babies. I'm going to be having that and am quite nervous! How do you work things?! X

Jumping on your thread as I'll have a similar age gap too come July. Might be slightly nearer 19 months depending on when the little one turns up. Equally nervous about it!

My two are now 23 and 24, I have a 19 month gap and it was absolutely fine. They grew up very close and because they were close in age they liked similar things at the same time.

14 month gap between my middle 2.

You need a 2nd cot and a double pushchair - don't kid yourself otherwise.

I didn't have any particular issues tbh. Made life easier that they both went through similar stages, little jealously etc.

Mine are 19 months apart. he didn't care much about or for the baby at first. I would sing songs with him to keep him amused while breastfeeding but he soon understood that mummy feeding the baby meant no one on one time.

Thenw hen baby was crawling we saw constant aggression. Toy throwing at baby, kicking and hitting and we had to be very zero tolerance on that. We tried ti encourage the older one to see baby as a playmate such as getting him to imitate noises or pointing out when baby smiled at him.

By the time ds2 was old enough to be interactive (can wave or clap when asked to) ds1 changed. Now they play together. They are 1 and 2.6 and ds1 likes to make him laugh and chases him. You have to work at encouraging the older child to see the value in their baby sibling. and to help with the baby care like holding a bottle, offering food etc and involve them in what thebbaby is thinking, feeling and doing. And turning it into a game the older one can join in with, like raspberry blowing games.

Yes to two cots and I reccomend the joovy caboose. You can have a baby facing you and a seat for the toddler. launch's lightweight and no wider than a normal pushchair.

I do. The first 12m were hard (a bit like having twins - you have 2 babies...) but now its great. I have some but not much jeslousy. They play lots together. Etc. (Age 2 and 3.5 now).

There are 17 months between mine. They're 2.9 and 16 months now and I'm finding it easier everyday.

At first it was tricky adjusting to the physical side of things - just the practicalities of getting both in/out of the car, bath and bed timings etc but it's definitely easier now DS1 is older and able to follow instructions!

There has been minimal aggression, they have their moments but the majority of the time they get on great. Ds1 tends to be very nurturing towards his brother. In the early days it was a case of making sure ds1's routine didn't change much and ds2 just had to fit in as much as was reasonable. Ds1 kept up 3 half days of nursery a week which he enjoyed and it also gave me a chance to get housework or shopping done.

Definitely recommend a double pram! We used a phil and teds tandem style and switched to a side by side nipper about 4 months later- I think we could have gone straight to the out and about nipper from birth though. We haven't needed 2 cots though - DS went into a toddler bed just before he turned 2 and ds2 went from his crib into the cot. We played it by ear on that front though and were prepared to buy another cot if needed.

I'll have 22 months and intending on one cot and one pushchair. Am I deluded? Ds is now 14 months (v early on in second pregnancy) and walks a lot already. My sister has a similar gap and has loves it.

I'm also planning potty training early which I know is contentious. Probably not the place to mention it, sorry. Didn't mean to thread hi-jack! Back to the 18 month gap thing! Best of luck, and congratulations!

I'll have 20 months between mine and this thread is very reassuring

Thank you

I had a 17 month age gap and was absolutely dreading it when I was pregnant! It's turned out to be absolutely fine and now they are 4 and 5 and often play really well together as they like similar things. In fact, at this very moment they are playing 'camping holidays' and are going to sleep in the same room tonight, as they often do at weekends. There have been very tough times over the last few years (DD1 was a terrible sleeper until she was 18 months old and then had the terrible twos big style and now they sometimes bicker endlessly & drive me potty), but on the whole it has been easier than I thought it would be. And I definitely found going from none to one much more difficult than one to two. Any age gap has its pros and cons, but I'm hoping that after a few tricky years that things will get easier and easier.

Tbh ch I'd be inclined to leave the potty training until your dc shows signs of being ready (knows when they're doing a wee/poo, wakes up dry from a nap, wants to use the potty/loo etc) otherwise it'll be like flogging a dead horse and they could well regress on the birth of the new baby anyway.
I'd have a double buggy on standby if possible - you can pick them up off eBay or gumtree for next to nothing; simply because if the baby needs feeding and changing whilst out, you have somewhere safe to contain the toddler so they're not running riot when your hands are full. Stick them in the buggy with a snack & a drink and then you can sort the baby out in relative peace.
Mine are 17 months apart and, at 2.6 and 3.11, are the best of friends. They play together nicely (most of the time), keep each other entertained and help and support each other - earlier today ds hurt his side and cried and dd brought him his stuffed lion to help cheer him up. It's going to be a big change for both of them when ds starts school and they split up (they currently attend the same nursery 3 days a week and are together the whole day at home the rest of the time).

Don't say that Random! I'm really hoping to get away with only one cot. Can a baby make do in a travel cot for a few weeks if she outgrows moses basket before ds has grown into a bed?

Thank you great advice!

Nicky you could always put your eldest into a toddler bed a couple of months before your baby is born? We put ds into his at 14 months and put a rolled up double duvet underneath for when he rolled off in the night. He got used to it very quickly.
He did stop napping in his bed during the day though when he went into his big boys' bed but I sorted that by strapping him into his puschair and leaving him in the quiet of the kitchen - he napped like this, for at least 90 mins at a time, until he was around 2.5.

Nicky - my friend ignored my opinion/advice with a 17month age gap. She ended up with the older one not napping during the day and not sleeping through the night after being perfectly happy prior to being evicted from their cot once the moses basket was outgrown!!!

For the price of a 2nd hand cot or a small basic one from Ikea is it worth the risk? I had mine in continental cots until they were 4ish just took one side off to convert it into a "bed". Single beds take up more space - I just don't get the rush.

I'm desperate to keep DD contained in a cot at night times when the new baby comes. I don't want her getting out of bed and running herself a bath while in snoozing after a long night with the baby

I wouldn't rush to move her into. He'd. Plenty of time for that later.

We've got a 16month gap, the little one is 2 months.

We have a double pram, (2nd hand mountain buggy) I live in a hilly area and the single didn't have air tyres there is no way I'd get it around with 2 babies weight on it, plus the older one isn't great with instructions and loves sitting in his pram for a rest on the way home from nursery. In the early days we played pretend outings with both strapped in the pram and walking around the house, little one learnt to sleep in the pram so I can just out her down now and it kept the older one involved.

Our older child has been sleeping in a travel cot since 8 months as he wriggles to much for a normal cot and kept waking himself up. The little one just would not settle in the crib so went to the normal cot at a couple of weeks old. Although they both nap outside in their prams, big one in the single still and the little one in the double. We also have another travel cot in the living room but could have managed without as the little one much prefers to sleep in the pram, also thats safer as the older one cant reach into it to stroke her/poke her in the eye.

The older one still goes to nursery, in the mornings, so we are only with both from about 14.00 to bed time, apart from learning to pick up the big one when you're already holding the little one it's not much different tbh. I try to stay out in the garden for an hour or so, until its time for a feed.
If I've got stuff I need to do I put the little one in her bouncy chair, and the older one either potters about by himself, or if I'm cooking normally he will get his highchair and sit by me to help. He knows not to touch the cooker and woodburner so if I'm feeding the little one he can be free to wander around the downstairs. We all eat at 5pm so we aren't trying to fit that in after the kids are in bed.

We both work PT so have a rota of jobs to be done each day/week/month, which works well for us and and we do a tidy of the toys as part of the night routine so whoever has the toddler does that while the other sorts the baby as they both go to bed at the same time.

Oh and I forgot, there will be both crying together a lot in the early days, if you are already doing all you can to fix it, ear plugs are your freind.

I do, they're 10.5 & 12 now. They're both so different in temperament. Eldest is quiet and ordered and clean, youngest is a whirlwind.

They've kept eachother company & love to hate eachother, the eldest really looks out for the younger and they're both fiercely protective of eachother.

For me it was a good age gap, as they're both girls I saved loads on clothes as well.

I had a playpen to put the baby in which got used a lot - it was a large hexagonal one and the playmat lived in there. Just meant that you didn't have the whole "don't touch", "no" thing. We had a completely open plan house so tbf a playpen was a very good investment.

I used to try and prepare what I could during the day for teatime and yes we all ate around 5pm.

Dh took over during everything for the toddler for the last 3-4 months of my pregnancy, this was instigated as I had severe SPD and couldn't walk, or lift the older one (she wasn't walking). This had the unforeseen bonus that she didn't expect my time and attention after the baby was born and zero jealously. For the first few days she was unimpressed if dh cuddled the baby but after that she just accepted it.

I had a nappy changing station upstairs and downstairs so there was nothing in toddler reach that shouldn't be. We used washable nappies so that was a huge help and I can't change on the floor due to knee problems and the SPD.

We have 15 month gap. Personally we didn't get a double ( used sling and buggy board), and didn't get x2 cots. We co slept with ds1 until 6months so did the same with ds2. By then ds1 was almost 2 years and we moved him to a regular bed and ds2 took over cot.
If they are over 18months I would just buy a normal bed and you can add side rail thing to stop then falling out if needed but it's easier they can get in and out as your hands probably full with baby often anyway.

Ds1 was potty trained for poo at 15 months by the time ds2 was born, and fully trained by 18months so I would def try. With mine in washables it was great not having 2 in nappies at the same time for long

We had an 18 month gap. I bought a bedside crib and by the time DC3 needed the cot DC2 was big enough to go into a bed.

I used amassed a collection of slings used a good sling and a buggy in the end, DC3 only went in the buggy a handful of times in the end, he stayed in the sling until I got pg with DC4.

I love the small gap, and so do they. They share clothes and are a school year apart. DC3 really likes to keep up with DC4.

It is crazy at times and having 2 in nappies is hard work...you have to really look after yourself imo otherwise you can get run down. Good food, enough rest etc. It is great fun though.

Artandco you are my inspiration!

I have to say sling wasn't an option for me due to chronic back and spd plus mine wasn't even walking at the time. Neither could I stand sharing a room let alone co-sleeping - love the idea but I didn't sleep a wink!!! Plus my babies were so tall they outgrew the moses basket literally in weeks

Def. look at how you've parented/what you've used for your elder one and therefore what you think will work for you with the younger one.

Slinging and co-sleeping make a huge difference to what you'll need.

of those slinging, co-sleeping mums!