2.5 year old waking and staying awake for two hours in the night! Help!

[Anotheronesoon]

My son wakes every few nights at around 0100-0200 and finds it really difficult to go back to sleep. He is often awake for 2-3 hours. He usually ends up coming into bed with us and just lies awake for hours, occasionally chatting or getting up. It is driving me mad! I have stopped his day nap and am trying lifting him to the toilet before I go to bed. It is too early to tell if that makes any difference so far. Any ideas on how I can help him learn to fall back asleep? It makes him grumpy all the next day- not tot mention me being grumpy! Currently after two hours of him being in our bed my husband has taken him back to his bed and is lying on the floor with him. All I can here is him crying and is now pleading for milk. Aaargh it's driving is mad as the baby will be up shortly for feeding - any ideas? Thanks!

How old is your other baby?
And how long has DS been doing this for?

Other baby is 11 months. He has just woken. He has been good for the last month sleeping through but occasionally waking at this time and normally taking 30-40 min of crying and moaning to get back to sleep. I'm exhausted. Have been up since have twelve. Eldest has been doing this about twice a week for the last month. But he has never been a great sleeper. It's exhausting but also sad. I just wish my eldest could happily fall asleep. It just doesn't come easy to him and I feel responsible for that- probablyy role as his mummy to have taught him to sleep better when he was a baby.

Ah don't blame yourself OP!

My son can be like this too although not with quite such relenting frequency :( it always passes over eventually but it is exhausting.

Not much advice but we have two things, a gro clock which I think he is just starting to really get (2yr 8m). Also he never ever settles in our bed so we have given up on that. He seems to go back quickest with minimal intervention. So now we lie on the landing outside his door and sing to him until he quietens, then just the odd hum/line of song if he calls out to check we are there.

Can still take hours tho :( I figure that is offering him the least "incentive" to wake up.

I have an 8mo old too who has never slept through so I feel your pain!

Also I think a "divide and conquer" approach is essential. Only me or my husband try to be awake at any one time! The other one shuts themself away with loud white noise on. That way you get your shift of sleep at some point!

Has he got his back molars? Could it be getting cold?y DS does this and seems to go through stages where he will do it for 3/4 nights in a row then stop for a couple of weeks. I have never been able to work out what causes it though!

I shove them in a their room and leave them to it as far as possible. Calpol if I am feeling generous. They normally chunter round a bit then drop off again.
But I know some are less hard lined and more sleepdeprived

We try leaving him In his room for as long as possible but after an hour or more of him crying mummeeeeee mummeeeee pleeeeeaaase at top volume ( and us Worrying the baby will then wake!) or coming out his room- yes we have a stairgate and yes he can climb over it! We try bribery, he knows if he comes into our bed there is no peppa pig in the morning and we are usually very firm with our (spirited!!) child. I forgot to lift him to the toilet last night so maybe weeing is waking him we shall see with time. It's the fact that once awake he just cannot go to sleep easily. He literally will lie and look at the ceiling for two hours! Thanks for words of advice it's appreciated!

Ah yes ours is still imprisoned in his cot that is essential to the stay in to room plan. Mine finds it very hard to drop back off too, I feel for him as well as often we can see on the video monitor he is really trying to.

It's tough. You have my every sympathy. It won't last forever and you aren't doing anything wrong.

Just wondering why you stopped the daytime nap? Sometimes if children are over tired going to bed they can have a very wakeful nights sleep. He may still need a short nap to help have a better nights sleep. My dd3 is also 2.5 and if she hasn't napped for them in creche I know I am in for a wakeful night they can't seem to get into a deep sleep. Worth trying to reintsate even a 30-40min nap to see does it help

Oh my Dd used to do this too. She would be desperate to go back to sleep but wouldnt be able to drop off. Now three and it hasn't happened for a while though.
Tbh it sounds like you've tried pretty much everything I would suggest. In the end we got her a lamp she can turn on herself and so she can look at books in bed if he can't sleep and if she's really struggling I put an audiobook on for her. She would still wake but wouldn't disturb us as much.

Personally I think it is developmental related - they are just buzzing from learning/understanding new stuff - rather than behavioural so I didn't worry about bad habits etc.