Feeling absolutely shit thanks to a nurse

[ChunkyMonkeysMummy]

DD is 12months, quite happily cruising now and trying to take her first steps. Wednesday evening she fell and banged her head, cried straight away, fine after a few minutes and the bruise came out straight away. Wasn't at all worried about her as she was Back up on her feet, not a care in the world.
Took her to the local out of hours clinic today as I expected that she had another ear infection. Saw a nurse and straight away was quizzing me about the bruise; how she done it, how she reacted etc.
She then asked if I took her down to a&e. I told her no, this wasn't the first time it had happened probably wont be the last either , I've had her checked out several times before, I was given a laminated sheet with symptoms of concussion and when to see a doctor at my last visit. She was horrified by this, saying that every head injury needs to be checked out. I pointed out to her that if I done that, I would be down a&e nearly every day with DD and as her mother I know if she's reacting normal or not. The bruise does look horrendous. Nurse then told me she was noting it down on DD file that I failed to get her seen.
Now I feel absolutely shit. I'm doubting whether or not I do know best for her, I've had a good cry over it, and I don't know whether it was an overreaction on the nurses part, or should I be getting her checked out every single time

I'd take the views of a healthcare professional seriously and reflect on whether I'd make the right choice, ask what questions I should ask next time, does it matter where the bruise is, what about if you saw the whole thing and they never lost consciousness for a second or seemed at all put out, etc. And I'd ask what first aid they thought I should have done f I hadnt done any (eg ice pack, paracetemol). If I really thought my judgment was right and they were wrong, I'd put a complaint in writing. If I thought they were a bit right and I was a bit right, I'd possibly complain about how it was handled and how it made me feel, but acknowledge how and what I would alter - possibly in a conversation with my GP rather than a letter. Safeguarding children is important - she's just doing her job.

I got a call from my GP (who I really rate) when I'd taken my daughter to a hospital well away from where we lived (we were visiting friends miles away) with a minor head injury. She was pleasant but it was clear to me she was doing a safeguarding check. I was totally frank about everything that had happened including my/our moment's inattendance - still beat myself up about it! - even though no consequences whatsoever, and we had gone straight to A&E with an icepack in tow.

Yes DD marks really easy. Everytime we pick her up she has red marks from where we held her which fade within a couple of minutes.

I think Swazza has a good point. It may be over the top to go to A&E each time your child has a bump but the nurse saw the bruise so has a duty to record it on her notes. There may be no issues re your child but consider the cases where a child has been harmed and professionals have not noted it or reported it to see a pattern etc.
Her recording this type of incident may be essential to notice patterns of abuse for another child.

Allanna, I agree with you about the safe guarding. I believed I done everything right (but then again that could be misconstrued that I didn't do everything, IYSWIM)
I thought a bit of common sense, an Ice pack and lots of kisses and cuddles and using the laminated guide I was given as a backup, would be sufficient. Not once did she lose consciousness and she was back up on her feet in a matter of minutes.

I'm toying with the idea of a letter to the out of hours clinic or go to my own GP regarding it.

I think fair enough for her to make a note if child safeguarding is a training issue. She shouldn't have made it a big deal and acted like it's your 'punishment' for not getting dd seen.

If you've got time I would also complain about her treatment of you. A bruise is a bruise, it's always the head they fall on!

So to make you feel better about parenting failures that result in injury, here are 2 recent accidents I've not taken ds2 to a&e for:

1. fell off bottom step and cut lip on own teeth with me stood right behind him. He somehow managed to go from kneeling up to falling face first.
2. he kept trying to crawl out of the baby area at playgroup where school gym benches corral them in. I kept stopping him then he was too quick and manages to launch himself over and lands on his nose. Nosebleed results. Felt bad.

Sometimes they fall over. It's life!

She could have said that due to safe guarding guidelines she has to note your child wasn't seen by a hcp but she is happy your child is fine and you cared for her correctly.

I was once looking after a friends baby, 18 months or so, and she hit her head on the corner of a door, cried and back on her feet playing within minutes so i thought 'great she's fine' she too had a bad looking bruise. walking through town later that day and people were gawping into the buggy as if she had a huge gash on her head and giving me the sink eye. It made me feel awfully judge, bastards, i felt bad enough as it was was!

I think as a mum you'd know if it requires medical attention.

Stink eye not sink eye!!

I don't think that becoming a mum automatically gives me medical qualifications. But experience and familiarity with my children/ other children/ similar injuries etc. means that now after nearly 11 years of parenting I am less likely to rush to A&E without very good reason. With ds my pfb in his first year every rash/ temperature and bout of projectile vomiting was scary and we sought advice more often for ds than our younger children. He fell on his head many times while learning to walk and one particularly horrible time he ran towards me missed a step and split his mouth open on a stairgate I can replay that image like it happened yesterday. All my kids have had horrible bruises and it is an overreaction on the part of the nurse to call foul on the op for not rushing to hospital.

I have the sort of colouring that bruises very easily and they go lovely tropical colours - my children are also easily bruised so they look worse than they are sometimes... You need to use your own knowledge of your child and the fact that you were there when the injury happened to give you confidence in your actions op. One nurse is not going to know everything and opinions can be wrong, check with your GP/ health visitor and complain about the scaremonger nurse if you feel she was out of order.

This is what will happen if the bloody government threatens professionals with jail if they miss anything. How does a professional distinguish between someone knowing their child and knowing she is ok to someone who is neglecting their child?

*in no way, shape or form am I saying that op did the wrong thing, I'm just pointing out that if you start threatening people with jail then this is the result. Arse covering.

I am sure an already over stretched under resourced A&E would be delighted to hear of this nurse's recommendation!!!

If every child went to a&e with every fall/bump on the head then no one would get seen - the hospitals would be over flowing.
The nurse saw the bruise, had to question it and had to note it. If she didn't it would be negligent on her part. She do s seem to have handled it poorly from what you have said.

Jesus. I live overseas so none of this poke your nose in business.

It must have been stressful enough when she fell, without all this.

Hope you both feel better soon.

Thank you all. Had the health visitor appointment today, she completely agreed it was an ott reaction. She was not impressed with the advice of going to a&e every time a child has a fall.

That's good - but get it in writing!