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Parenting

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Social Services help? Personal information.

3 replies

MummyCanDo · 15/03/2015 15:59

I'm not sure if I'm doing this right, I'm new here, and this is my first post!

So here goes, I have 3 children, my eldest 2 are from a previous relationship, my youngest is my Partners child, although he is dad to the older 2 in every sense of the word and is amazing with them, always has been. My ex has had no contact with my eldest 2 in 4 years now. Our breakup was a giant pain, it was instigated by social services who told me if I didn't leave, I'd lose my children. I decided to leave about an hour after they told me that, and within 2 days I'd secured us somewhere to stay where we'd be safe. I left behind my stepchildren, hardest decision ever and I still hate myself for leaving them in the situation I did, but what choice did I have?

Ex had his children removed from him a couple of months after I left due to physical Abuse and possible sexual abuse. Due to that, contact for my ex and my 2 was arranged for a contact centre, he showed up to 2 contact sessions and that was it. He showed up early to about 3 to leave me letters he'd wrote for me, but not to see his children. He's a drug addict, a fanatic and is a very dangerous man, as his criminal record shows. He was accused back in 2003 of child abuse against his daughter (way before I met him) because she had a bruise in the shape of a handprint on the side of her buttock/thigh. It was picked up by nursery, who sent her to hospital, where photos were taken. Ex claimed his then 2 year old son had caused it by being rough. It was clearly a lie as I have seen the photos and it was an adults hand print. Unfortunately, my ex and his ex slipped through the net as they moved away.

I know this is long and I feel rude as it's my first post, but I feel all this is relevant.

My ex is on my oldest daughters birth certificate, but not on youngest daughters. Now, my questions!

Will it be possible for my ex to have his PR removed? What if he agrees with me and also wants it removed? Would we be able to do it? What if he doesn't agree? Do I have chance? Just to add, in total he has 10 children, and doesn't see a single one.

Could my partner adopt my children? Would we need my ex's permission? I don't know where he is so how would we go about this?

How do I get hold of my social services records? I want everything on file about me from that time period, is this possible? < That's the most important question. How do I get them?

Thanks for any advice.

OP posts:
allotherusernamesaretaken · 15/03/2015 19:11

I didn't want to leave you unanswered. I am not the expert at all but I don't think adoption would be possible without both parent's consent. So it might be possible for the one child with no father named but not the other.
Is there a social worker you can talk to about this? You have a number of questions here and I think need specific answers from someone who knows.
Best of luck

Lonz · 15/03/2015 23:16

Parts of your post resonated with me. He can't keep "having" kids and leaving, that's not fair! I'm not sure about PR, but I know even to change name, both parents have to agree/have permission (which is crap when the dad doesn't give two sh*ts!) Though you may be able to take it to court due to his past accusations towards him...

I suggest making an appointment with Citizen's Advice Bureau, they may be able to help and point you in the right direction with any questions you have.

Threesoundslikealot · 15/03/2015 23:23

A court can order the removal of Parental Responsibility and from your post I'd say there is good reason to in this case. You will need the support of social services for this. Do you have names and numbers from the contact centre period? Worth trying as a start. If not, just call the child protection team and explain things to them. They will also be able to give you advice on adoption.

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