Friend's little boy ;0(

[peppajay]

I am a bit worried about a friend of mine's son. He is 5 and his mum is totally convinced there is something wrong with him she thinks he is autistic he doesnt speak at home never has but at school he is fine and he is really good friends with my son and we have him to play often and he is like a normal 5 yr old he chats away they play with the cars bounce on the trampoline he eats and drinks with us no problem, but in his own home he will only eat alone and has never spoke he lashs out and screams and hits. His mum is alot older she had him at 47 and they live with her elderly parents. She has seen several drs and they say his selctive mutism is prob due to the way he lives but she tells everyone he is severely autistic. School will not listen to her concerns any more as he is fine. Anyway something I have just seen has broken my heart - she has managed to buy a maclaren major which she has been looking for for months and I have just seen her in town with him strapped in he looked so sad and upset and he put his hands out to me to get him out - she is on cloud 9 now she has the buggy as she says now everyone can see he isnt normal. Don't know what to do isnt my place to get involved but I really dont think she has his best interests at heart!!!!

I'd be giving social services a call, or having a chat with the safeguarding officer at school as a minimum.

this has made me feel immeasurably sad. i'm not sure what advice to give.

How sad. I think you need to speak to the school first, They will be able to advise. once you speak to them and tell them your concerns it is their duty to that child to inform the relevant authorities.

Ooh gosh. Um...are you saying that you think he's normal, but his mum is forcing this self diagnosis onto him, to the point of buying a buggy for special needs?
Just want to be clear on that.

Sounds like she's suffering from Munchhausen by Proxy. I'd be calling SS too. This isn't right.

Social services, without a shadow of a doubt.

Go to the school. Things move faster when they get involved ime.

He is under a paediatrician due to his mutism and originally they did think he was autistic and because he is hard work at home she believes this is the case but he honestly is like any normal 5 yr old with people he knows. She has a hard life as she is a full time carer for her mum abd het dad isn't well either and her sons dad isn't on the scene so she is stressed - he never went to any groups as a toddler and only went to a ore school for a couple of months before starting school - I think he is just so restricted at home and put him with other children he is normal but when ever his mum is about he goes back to this introverted unsociable child. She is a lovely person and has no support I try to help as much as i can and think maybe she does some kind of help. Maybe will mention to school and say what they suggest!

Poor woman. If she never sees another side of him, to her it's probably comforting that other people can 'see' that he has 'problems' while they are out with the pushchair and validates her own diagnosis. She needs help and so does he. I hope there is a good outcome eventually.

Maybe will mention to school and say what they suggest!

In the nicest possible way op, please remove the 'maybe' from that sentence.

I would definitely raise your concerns with the school and/or SS.

It sounds like the lady is having a difficult time and desperately needs some support from somewhere.

Also the hv may still be able to help as he's only 5.

With regards to hv it will be the school hv that you'd need to speak to.

She desperately needs help and asap. Her ds is at an age where behavior like this could haunt him for the rest of his life.
Absolutely agree with cats there's no maybe about it, speak to everyone, school, ss maybe even your gp if you both at same drs as they too have an obligation to follow reports up.

Please do what you get the ball rolling, this mother needs help, either because her concerns aren't being listened to, or her needs aren't being met.
You have to feel for both of them.

What a sad situation, it sounds like mum is crying out for support. Certainly raise it with school and I would flag it with ss, not to get her in "trouble" but to help her get support.

there is also the possibility that he is masking at school and lashing out at home. It's not unusual and not his mother's fault.

Meglet she still needs someone to listen to her about her child. This situation isn't good for either of them.

Do you ever go round to her house with your boys? And does he act normally then? If you haven't done this, why not do it so she can see that he is generally ok?

Do you know for sure he doesn't speak at home? Could it be made up by her or exaggerated? Sounds like she has some serious problems.

School do tend to not see problems.

do something. don't let it go on too late that the poor child is suffering