Hi all
I've not been on here for a while, so sorry if this has already been covered- in a way I hope it has as I would like some reassurance that this is all part of normal parenting!:
My lovely, cherished daughter's behaviour has become quite challenging and I am finding it very difficult to manage. I am a single parent and work full time, so feel that always the clock is ticking and we have to be up, fed,washed dressed etc all within a tight timeframe and the same applies at the end of the day as I can't pick her up from after school club until 6. She is not a morning person and so she need's plenty of sleep, so the week is quite stressful adn by the weekend we are both totally shattered!. Her behaviour is characterised by not listening, doing her own thing, refusing to get out of bed, refusing to leave after school club(I find that one particularly difficult!) -basically everything it seems I ask her to do, or suggest that we do, the answer is the opposite to what I thought she would say. Tonight she kicked me for no reason so I really shouted at her and unfortuntely I really lost it and shouted at her sooo much - I seem to shout at her a lot. I dread waking her up as even though I feel I am the lovliest person in the world to her, I am greeted by such unpleasantness and refusal to get up, and mindful of our time to get out to school and work, I haven't got any patience. I should add that I am not a morning person either! There is no 'back-up crew' which I find hard too, and I've tried to explain to her that we are stuffed if we don't get on as there is no-one else to step in and arbitrate
She has recently started losing the plot altogether, saying no-one likes her, she has no friends etc, but when I've raised this with her school they said it wasn't true- although she can be domineering and insist that friends do what she wants to do, and if they don't then she gets really upset. I find it truly heart-breaking that she gets so upset about this but she puts her hand over her ears if I try and talk calmly to her about what is actually going on. Her dad left us 2 years ago, but he never lived with us as he always worked away, but now she is refusing to speak to him on the phone saying she doesn't like him and she gets stressed if I suggest it might be good to talk to him about her day- which also stresses me as I worry her dad thinks I am stopping her speaking to him!
Frankly right now I'm living a bit of a nightmare- a dread of everyday coming and the unpleasant behaviour I, and others, can be subject to. She is an adorable loving child, I have to say on most occasions, but right now the naughtiness is affecting my relationship with her and whilst I know I should step back and take a deep breath and be the adult, I find it really difficult to be like this. I worry for her pyschological well-being with all the shouting and stress at such a young age.
When I read this back, some of it can seem quite trivial and normal(ish!) behaviour for a five year old. But its becoming such an ingrained way of being now that I worry I'll never get 'us' back on track
Does anyone have words of reassurance that this will pass, or top tips that I can use to try and build a more postive relationship with my only beautiful child?