Do you make mum friends once kids are at school?

[Coffeemonster1]

I have 2 good friends, we all have busy lives, one with a DD same ages as mine and one without, but manage to squeeze in a play date every 1/2 weeks and a proper night out every 3 or so months. But between these times it gets quite lonely.
Even though I work full time, the group there are very clicky and don't want to talk to anyone outside their circle so makes things hard to fit in, despite having been there 2.5 years.
Me and my 2 friends talk every few days just by text or just general chit chat that continues over a few days and we all do presents etc for each other and kids for bdays/Xmas.
But like when I have holiday booked off work I spend the week sitting in the house, where as I imagine other people have lists of friends to meet for coffee etc :(
Once your kids go to school, do you get more opportunities to meet more friends, have mid week coffee meet ups, play dates and invitations to bday parties.
It's my birthday soon and I'm celebrating with one friend - everyone else on Facebook seems to have 10/15 mates going on big celebrations etc.

How old is your dd?i only have a few close friends, most of which don't live near Me so I only see them when they're visiting the area/Me, especially now as I have a baby. Pre-baby I mainly socialised with my husband's friends, who are mainly couples but since have got quite a few women I meet up with too. I'm not sure that all of them will be lasting friendships but I meet with 3 women from antenatal quite regularly and a few others at the children's centre or for a cup of tea every week or so. I made myself go to the local children's centre even though I'm really not very good at meeting new people.
Depending how old your dd is I know there are toddler groups in most areas where you could meet some mum's, or preschool is where a lot of mum's seem to gravitate together, and more so at school but you might find you don't have much in common with other mum's even if you've children the same age. People I've met lately with babies the same age as mine are in such different places in their lives than mine so other than chatting about the children our lives are worlds apart. I guess you have to be very open to meeting new people but don't pin all your hopes on making really good friends, sometimes it happens quickly and sometimes it takes a while to find likeminded women.
Is it worth trying to post on the mumsnet local board for your area to see if there are any mum's near you in the same situation?

Absolutely in my case. My best friend I have only known for ten years as I met her when DS1 was 6 through school.
I met loads of friends throughout the Pre School/ First school years who I now see even though the DC go to different secondaries.
When the DC started playing out I made friends with another Mum in the road who I have never spoken to before and now we are good friends as are our DC.
Very often at the school gates (regardless of what you read on here) you find the loveliest people who you have stuff in common with and all of a sudden you have playdates and are out for coffee etc.

Don't despair.

I've met some lovely people at school gates and made some great friends :) It's not always been the people I would have expected at a shallow first glance (hardly ever is!).

Where are you? It's horrible when you feel lonely.

Yes. We try and get out once a term with the dc. We have a glass of wine and a laugh, they get to run around a play area, other times we'll get together in the holidays and take them to the zoo etc.

I think you need to follow your interests to meet good friends. I did make good friends at antenatal but I was a sahm for years. Now I work I think the book group and running club I joined are the most natural place. So if you have childcare follow an interest and then even if you don't make friends you have done something constructive.
I have made friends volunteering too, something like rsinbows or brownies where your dd goes too is good.
Get off facebook...it never makes anyone feel good.
get out if yhe house when you are on holiday. I have been to the cinema and art galleries on my own, it's lovely, as is the cake and coffee afterwards. Or decorating the house is a great thing to do when you are off without kids.

Not so far - DS in in reception, I work FT so drop him off in the mornings and the CM/his grandparents collect him. I don't imagine I will ever have an actual conversation with any of the school parents and tbf, I hardly see my 'real' friends very often. the last thing I have time for is trying to fit new people into a non existent time slot!

I did.
To be honest I wasn't trying to - I was trying to help DD make more friends in Reception because she was struggling but she is now in year 5 and I have an amazing group of close friends and a few more that I see occasionally.
DS is in Year 1 and I have made a couple of friends through him and again a few more that I chat to casually.
The key is not to expect too much too quickly and not force it and don't go off first impressions, someone you might think isn't your cuppa might be and vice versa.

Well, if you are working full time, then it's unlikely that you'll make deep and resounding friendships through your dc, as you presumably won't be in the playground each day / available to help out with things / available to go for coffee.
I've had 3 dc go through school and have made good 'links' with other parents in that we get on, we chat, we help each other out if we can, but that's as far as it goes - they are exactly that, parents of my dcs' friends. That doesn't necessarily translate to people I would go out with at weekends / evenings or in holidays.
You find friends through life when you do things you enjoy - hobbies, volunteering, etc - as you have shared interests with them, IME.