I'm increasingly feeling like I'm failing again...

[MikeTheShite]

Dd is 2.5, and in our house it's me, dd and our DDog.

Dd is at nursery 4 full days a week whilst I'm at university.

Here's the thing, every night without fail at 10pm the crying starts. She wakes at least 3 times a night. That's 10-3am to me. At 3am the screaming will start (it is not night terrors) and she basically ends up
Fighting me and coming into my bed.
I am exhausted.

Bath times are a nightmare, I can't do anything in the bath with her. If I'm in there or not. I hVe to sit at the bathroom door. Then she is fine.
My parents and my ExP can bath her with no problems.

If she's Made something at jursery for me, she rips it in the car or feeds it to the dog.

I know it's easy to say be firmer with her but all she does when she is will me is moan,whine, cry and scream. I can't listen to it anymore. I'm at the end of my tether.

It's just me this happens to, nursery think she's brilliant and ahead etc, as do grandparents.

I'm exhausted, it's me I know it's me, I just don't know what to do.
She's a lovely bright little girl and I love her dearly. We on our day together do everything she likes: her pony, walk our DDog, bake cakes and watch a film.
That wasn't good enough on Monday

I feel like a failure because it is just me. I mean she runs off when I pick her up from nursery.

It sounds very hard but at this point it is important to question why she behaves like this. Do you think you may be enabling these behaviours? If so, you may need to change. Yes, it will be hard, she will hate it and there will be a lot of screaming and defiance as a result, but it will work out in the end if you stick with it.

Why does she scream three times a night? Is there anything actually wrong or does she do it to get your attention? Children get into these patterns very easily. You may need to either go cold turkey and let her scream it out for a few nights or use the withdrawal method Jo Frost uses where you sit further and further away until you are out of the room and then gone.

The thing is, you have to ignore the screaming. She is not in pain or distressed, she is protesting.

Do you use a time out step? I know some people say it doesn't work because they won't stay on the step but for the first few times you have to keep at it until she stays.

I hope this may be of some help. Good luck and I can sympathise. The last 14 months have been very very hard for us but I think we are coming out on the other side, so there is light at the end of the tunnel if you can stick it out (and be prepared for it to take months and months).

I think you could be right, I'm consistent in the day with the naughty step etc but night I give in so easy.

It's just so hard when there is just me and nothing seems to be good enough

We had a very brief spell of this a few months ago but managed to fix it within a few nights.

Our son was a little unwell and woke up in the late evening crying because he was too hot. He then woke up crying another five times in the next few hours. On the fourth time we twigged and explained clearly to him that we knew that he wasn't actually upset, in pain or needing a wee or drink but actually just wanted us to come in. So we kissed him and left.

He then did it again and we explained that this would be the last time we were coming in that night. He cried again a little while later when we were in bed and because we have a two way monitor, we spoke to him over that reminding him that we were not coming in and said goodnight. He did not cry again that night. If you do not have a two way baby monitor, I would stand outside the door and say it. You may eventually have to completely ignore the cries and wait until she falls back to sleep.

He cried the following night and we followed a similar pattern. Explaining that we knew he was okay and just wanted to see us and that this would be the last time we were coming in.

Do you think that would work? I know or sounds like tough love but it sounds like you are ready to draw the line. If so, it is time to do battle.

I sadly don't think that will work
She would just yell over me and hit me

How have things being going for the last few nights?

They haven't been so bad but still the stirring at night around 3 times, no coming in my bed at 3am though