Why do the grandparents wake my baby everytime they see him?

[millysimmons]

Any ideas how I can stop my IL's waking my nearly 3 weeks old everytime they see him? DS loves his sleep & as he's so young spends lots of time sleeping. When his GP visit or I go over to them he tends to be asleep. Everytime I leave the room I return to find them pulling at his feets, hands, taking off his socks etc & right up in his face trying to wake him. Have told them he will wake soon ( at times unlikely!)but they dont take any notice. He's not in a routinue yet so cant work visits around routine.
They just seem to think he's a toy to be played with. Bit grumpy too cause they keep asking me why I am feeding on demand as he's gaining too much weight( not what the health visitor said)he's too hot/cold, he's got wind & he's sleeping too much too.
Sorry for moan, maybe just a grumpy new mum!!

they're probably excited and can't help themselves! pain for you though, can you tell them firmly not to wake him though i imagine they won't be able to

Its a hard one. All my dd's grandparents were quite good about leaving her alone if she was sleeping. Tell them firmly that your HV has advised you to let your baby sleep as it can disrupt later sleeping patterns (or some such bull). You can use WHO advice on the bfing issue as well. It is a bit more diplomatic than saying 'Butt Out!'.

Unbelievable that anyone would wake a new baby DELIBERATELY. Especially one that loves his sleep (wistful emoticon).

I'd sit my arse on the sofa and say cheerily 'd'you know what, I'm afraid to leave the room in case you lot start waking him! What's going on there?' and see what they say. Keep plugging away. Best of luck.

How often do you have to see your IL's? If it is only once a week or so, I'd say don't worry about it - they are probably just really excited as southeast says, but if you have to regularly see them you need to (politely) say that you know that they are excited to see him, but you would prefer it if they allowed him to sleep.

My MIL also didn't like me feeding ds on demand - kept trying to "stretch" the feeding time for me to every four hours, when ds was only a week old! I had to tell her that medical advice now disagrees with those methods and that I intend to follow my doctor's advice - (babies can't put on "too much weight" if bfing - I don't know about bottles, but if you are bottlefeeding you probably have more up-to-date info than your ILs)

I know it is hard but as for the other unsolicited advice/opinions - just IGNORE it and continue looking after your baby the way that you want to. You will continue to get ALL sorts of unsolicited and ill-informed advice about parenting, from EVERYWHERE, for the rest of your life, might as well get used to IGNORING it now!

be rude if you have to, it's the only way with some grandparents and if you do it now while ds is tiny it will just be put down to hormones and you'll get away with it.

Dear God, i'd just tell them! FIL turned up at DS's bedtime last night, hammered on the front door so loud that he woke him up. After i got him back to sleep and came downstairs, FIL jokingly complained he never sees him- told him it was past his bedtime, and since i'd barely slept for 3 days, he was staying in his cot!

yes just tell them it used to drive me mad. They did it all the time with my son and when my daughter was born i just said dont touch her while shes sleeping you'll wake her and if you wake her up your not holding her!
There were good after that!

Is it their 1st grandchild?

Seeing as you're the one who has to deal with a tired baby and getting him into a routine, you've every right to lay down a few rules. My In-laws were always making jokes about DD's routine and how I was being inflexible about waking her etc, but I stood firm and now they respect that. She even sleeps over at their house and goes armed with a typed 'routine' sheet, which my MIL sticks to exactly - or face my wrath!!!
Try and be firm in a nice way and if that doesn't work, just tell them straight that you don't want him woken!!

Buy a sling and let her sleep in that when you take her there then she won't be out of your sight!!!

I like that advice kitbit. Fab idea I say.

Because they're overwhelmed by excitement and love and that makes them selfish.

My FIL used to come in whistling and pulling the moses basket handles or push the car seat pretending to be reading the warning label on it.They also used to say all that baby does is sleep. It drove me demented and in the end I asked them to make less noise and said thats what most babys do is sleep. before I had baby I was not bothered by them calling in unannounced but now they know what times they r def not allowed anywhere near the house and they have to call 1st. Am afraid the baby comes 1st, they are old enough to understand, yr baby is not. If I call my FIL when he is having a sleep in the afternoon or after 9pm he goes mad. I have become assertive since having my baby. Feel u need to set boundarys with PIL otherwise they will continue to do what they like when they like. sounds a bit harsh but my parents are brilliant and considerate whereas my PIL are not.

i'm glad its not just me who is having problems with the ILs. My MIL keeps telling me over and over that my DS will find his own routine and that i'm wasting my time trying to put him in one! he is now 9 wks old and is brilliant. has just started sleeping through the night and is a little star during the day, i believe this is all a result of me following a routine from day one!Every time she sees him she picks him up she tries to rock him to sleep and if he doesnt go to sleep - it must be wind, regardless of the fact that i have just told her that this is now his 'awake time' because he has just woken from his nap! AAARGH - rant over!