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Parenting

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Original poster

"You don't love me any more"

17 replies

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 27/10/2006 11:10

What is the correct response to this increasingly irritating statement when delivered by a stroppy 4 year old every time she doesn't get what she wants?

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Set a reminder

saadia · 27/10/2006 11:15

Ideally say "of course I love you, I'll always love you" and then try distraction from whatever it is she wants.

fairyjay · 27/10/2006 11:16

I will always love you. Sometimes I don't like the way you behave.

I use that on stroppy teenagers regularly!

webcrone · 27/10/2006 11:17

Don't know about 'correct' but how about - No matter what you do or what you say I will always love you and my job as the Mummy who loves you is to make sure you xxxxxx

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gigglinggoblin · 27/10/2006 11:18

huge lecture on how you are teaching her to be a wonderful grownup by not giving in and if you didnt love her you wouldnt care how she turned out blah blah blah. she will get so bored of listening to you going on she will stop saying it (hopefully)

southeastastra · 27/10/2006 11:18

or say i love you but not your behaviour or something. my son keeps saying he hates me at the moment

Original poster

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 27/10/2006 11:18

Oh I do that but she still says it.

And it is just so annoying.

Except when it is at the Marks and Spencer check-out and the cashier bursts out laughing and says "Ooh, she's got it down to a fine art hasn't she!"

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Original poster

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 27/10/2006 11:19

Hmm. I like the idea of boring her out of it by the lecture. Will try that.

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Greensleeves · 27/10/2006 11:20

I would completely ignore it and get on with the task in hand as quickly and painlessly as possible. I would however note that she had said it and would take every opportunity to say "ooh, I love you, you are so delicious" and dispense cuddles and affection at every non-contentious opportunity from then on.

But then I am a meanie. I generally ignore blackmail.

hunkermunker · 27/10/2006 11:20

Say that you do, but you won't if she keeps up that sort of talk and actually, if she says it once more, she'll be put up for sale on eBay.

I only have little children. Can you tell?

pablopatito · 27/10/2006 12:09

I liked the line by the mother on "That 70s Show" the other week, when she said "Of course I love you!...............because I have to"

Pitchounette · 27/10/2006 13:11

Message withdrawn

beckybraAAARGHstraps · 27/10/2006 13:13

I sing "nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I think I'll go and eat worms", and then tickle ds yelling WORMS, WORMS...

I know I sound unhinged, but we both end up laughing...

beckybraAAARGHstraps · 27/10/2006 13:14

If I ignore it when he says something, he just keeps on and on and on and on.... With ds, better to tackle it head on. Although probably different for different children.

Littlefish · 27/10/2006 13:17

There's a good book called "No matter what". I think it's by Debbi Gigl..... or something like that (can't remember the rest of her surname). The child character keeps misbehaving, and the parent character just keeps saying, "I'll love you, no matter what". It might start a useful conversation with your dd.

beckybraAAARGHstraps · 27/10/2006 13:21

I mean, do you ACTUALLY think she thinks she's unloved, or just saying it because she's fed up? I assume the latter with ds, and so just get us both to laugh it away.

costababe · 27/10/2006 13:22

Becky ra, with u on the worms!!! I must be unhinged too!!

Original poster

ScareyCaligulaCorday · 27/10/2006 20:38

bbs no, she definitely is using it as a transparent machiavellian technique. I've got that "no matter what" book. I ignore it quite often but she is very combative and will keep on upping the ante until I take notice of her. Which is OK when I've got the time/ patience/ venue to ignore but doesn't work in practice when conditions for ignoring aren't optimum. (IE at home, calm, not tired, not in the middle of doing something else, not having attention demanded by other child)

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