12 week old, at my wit's end re sleeping

[iamelectrogirl]

My DS is 12 weeks and almost never sleeps. If I'm lucky, he will sleep for two or three 20 minute stretches in a day, almost always in a pram or car. He nods off after a sleep sometimes but wakes up if you put him in his Moses basket. It often takes me over an hour to settle him to sleep at night and even then, it can take two or three attempts for a proper stretch of sleep. These used to consist of three or four hour stretches but now are often only two and after around 4am he wakes up even more frequently. I'm a single parent and he is exclusively breastfed so I just feel exhausted. Thankfully I live with family so I don't have many other responsibilities but even a shower is almost impossible without somebody holding him. I've been good about a routine from early on and I don't know what else I can do

If it makes a difference, he's big (90th centile), sleeps in a cosleeper cot though often my bed in the morning and he usually will only feed to sleep.
Any help is appreciated, really

After a feed sometimes*

Sounds like both of mine... I'm afraid I wasn't willing to try any sort of crying related sleep training so I just went with it until eventually the stretches of sleep increased and now, at 10 months, the baby is sleeping pretty well. Breastfed babies do supposedly wake more.
Can you get out for a stroll with the baby in a pram? Will he sleep then? Sending positive thoughts your way - it's a tough time, but it does get better...

All pretty normal behaviour I'm afraid. It should all calm down in a few months. Just try and ride with it (easier said than done I know). Soon your baby will be much more independent and you'll miss it.

Could it be that he's hungry all the time especially if he's a big baby. You could try switching to hungry baby formula to see if it fills him up more to sleep longer

I encouraged dd to nap better by taking her out in the pram for every nap for a couple of weeks. What started as whole nap on the move ended up being a few pushes of the pushchair in the hallway then rest of nap there, with an extra push if she stirred early. Soon transitioned to Moses basket for naps fairly easily.

At night I'd recommend making sure you're not seeing to him as soon as he stirs or cries out, and only if he really wakes. He needs a chance to learn to self settle. Don't mind anyone who says your milk is not enough. If women can feed twins, you are enough for even a big baby.

Co-sleeping might be an option for you?

Bondy, DS hasn't had formula before and I'm planning to breastfeed until 1 year so switching to formula doesn't really work for me, though it would probably help him sleep longer stretches

Ruralninja, we already cosleep 70% of the time though I try to get him to do his first stretch of sleep in his cosleeper cot instead so I can get a better quality of sleep for a bit

Could you perhaps introduce some formula and still bf if it is the reason he's waking is he's hungry, if he's not hungry then obviously there's no point. You are not a failure in any by introducing formula aswell as bf, if the end result is a more relaxed baby and a less stressed Mum then what's the harm.

Will he stay asleep (for naps) if you don't put him in a moses? At this age (and for quite a bit longer) my Ds slept on me during the day. It meant he got decent, regular naps during the day and this seemed to prevent over tiredness that made it harder to get him to settle at night. Try not to focus too much on routine at this age, it's just too young IMHO. My ds has always been a very routiney baby but even he didn't really have more than daytime/night time at that age.

Formula doesn't necessarily mean a longer sleep, so don't feel pressured into introducing a bottle - never worked with my first, so DC2 has been exclusively breast fed and is by far the better sleeper!

He's too young to actively sleep train even if that is something you would consider further down the line. Is this a recent change as it sounds like the 12 week growth spurt - totally normal, lasts a couple of weeks usually. It's the reason a lot of people introduce solids despite NHS advice, as they feel milk is no longer filling their baby up, however if you just let it pass then he will settle back into longer sleep patterns. It is tough though, do you have a sling? Something like a Mei Tai or a ring sling would be perfect for you - there's a good chance he would sleep in it, and it means you can get on with things while he's safe and happy in there.

Could be something to it!
However, since OP is EBF and (I assume) wants to continue (totally understandable, I mix feed and feel very strongly about BF despite challenges!) then it might be worth considering TOPPING UP with formula… having said that - baby has managed to maintain 90th percentile on BF only which may suggest he’s getting the nutrients he needs?
In any case, I’m not a doctor so might be worth checking with a doctor re feeding etc.
Good luck OP, I hope it gets more manageable for you soon! 💜

@Ksjushona the thread is 10 years old.

Oh dear, silly me! Was up with my 3 month old and missed the date of the post lol thanks!