Is there a way of getting a 2yo dressed that doesn't involve two people and a restraint policy?

[runlikeagirl]

Dd is 2.6. Every day is like a scene from the exorcist, with her screaming, hitting, raging and me and Dh trying to get her dressed. She is very strong and very determined.

We have tried letting her choose he rowe clothes (even with no limitations) and this results in all her clothes on the floor and a still refusal to get dressed. She's not interested in stickers and sadly doesn't seem to understand bribery yet ;)

Any help gratefully received.

When do you get her dressed? I find getting them dressed first thing in the morning before we go downstairs helps.
Get her dressed in front of tv? Might be distracted a bit.
Apologies if you have already tried the above. I suspect DD2 might be like this as she gets older. She is just 1 and nappy changes end up resembling a wrestling match

sorry. my DS was rarely dressed until he was 3. so no advice here.

How much can she do herself? DD is 2.5 and can do socks/tights/leggings herself, and get feet into shoes. I do the buckled/zips and anything that does over her head. She loves being able to do it herself.

She gets a closed choice as to what she wears then i bring it into my room and we get dressed together. Everyone is dressed before we go downstairs

Embarrassed to say I either stick the iPad or TV on and work around it. DS would watch tv 24-7 if he got away with it so I take the chance for an easy life!

DDs used to refuse to wear coats or shoes sometimes when they were smaller, we'd go out without them (they'd have to stay in the pram though if no shoes). I'd take them with me and when they decided they needed them we'd put them on.

I dress DD as much as possible while she is sleepily drinking her morning bottle. Failing that, she gets in my bath, and always seems more amenable to getting dressed after that, I assume because she's cold!

We say we'll take her out like it. So she says she will get dressed. Then changes her mind a last min. So we start to leave, same happens. Over and over. Maybe will have to do it first thing. I can't imagine me getting dressed straight away, I need a cup of tea and some breakfast first!

Yes stripping them off quickly whilst they protest so they want to put clothes on! Or iPad v rarely but helps. Ds doesn't want to get dressed when he doesn't want to do something outside the home ( I never knew toddlers would hate going to the park) but can enticed by football, certain nursery activities etc

Does she really have to? Can't you take her out in her nightie/ PJs? You won't be the first and you won't be the last. And she'll probably stop buggering about if you actually do it, instead of just going on about it.

Yes do it first thing. You don't have to be dressed :) But small children don't really understand such things as waking up slowly. They are either awake or asleep so it's confusing to them if you do it later. Like somebody expecting you to change your entire outfit in the middle of the afternoon. You'd be annoyed too!

George we do take her. She changes her mind at the door. So we start and she changes mind again. So we get to car. Changes mind again.

Don't let her change her mind at the door or in the car - if you've started taking her, then take her. Let her scream cry and tantrum - but you take her regardless. She will only do it once.

Don't let change her mind at the door. She either does it when she is first asked or she goes in her PJs. This is not about clothes, but her trying to take control.

. Toddlers are very tricky. Both of mine had wills of iron.

Don't relent when she changes her mind - you need to take her out in PJ's or whatever. You won't need to do it very often!

DS2 can be convinced by me getting e.g. trousers so, here is your teeshirt, lets put it on over your head, and put trousers on head. They he tells me I'm wrong and will show me how its done properly.

Get her dressed as soon as up. So no breakfast etc before dressed, should encourage her to speed up if hungry

Thanks. She has twice gone to the CM in her pjs. She wasn't bothered one bit. She tough one, never met a child so stubborn!

I'll get her clothes out tonight ready.

I would tell her she absolutely must not get dressed. In fact, mummy will be very, very cross if she puts on her pants. Mummy will probably cry (big heaving sobs) if she has got her shirt on by the time you get back from the kitchen. Right this is absolutely the last straw - she must Not put on her shoes. No. No!!! No!!!! She is a very naughty girl!!!!! Worked brilliantly for about 4 years. If fact, for about a year it was the only thing that worked.

I'd stop the choosing what she wears. Get her clothes out and say now we are getting dressed. I agree with no breakfast till she's dressed. You have to take control. She's two. And show her you are very cross about this bad behaviour.

I found with both mine they were hellspawn in the morning until they had something to eat, or at least some milk. After that they generally responded to the "X or Y?" with "want Z on!" and could be dressed fairly smoothly. Has the advantage that if they spill breakfast, it motivates taking pyjamas off.

It really builds up the inner thigh muscles, using them to hold a toddler...

Er, I do show her I'm cross. The choice was suggested by a friend to motivate her to get dressed.

I'll try the reverse psychology

Oh good. Delighted you're trying reverse approach. You sort of have to let her in on the game though E. G. Tell her she mustn't put on her pants while at the same time holding them out to her and very obviously looking in the opposite direction. Then lots of mock gnashing of teeth when she does it.

Does she have other things she feels she has some control over during the day? Choosing between two things like plates, cups, pieces of fruit etc?

I find with DD that if you try and take a step back you can see something has become her chosen battle because it gets a reaction. We try and give her as much sense of 'control' as we can (though its pretty much none in reality!) and hope that overall that stops her fighting other things.

But yes, sometimes I would just get her dressed the moment she woke up and then the breakfast milk/juice would cheer her up out of the tantrum.

She doesn't get to change her mind - that's your problem right there. She either gets dressed or she doesn't. You shrug and carry on either way. But once you're going, you're going. Press her into the car seat if needs be. But shrug your shoulders once she has chosen dressed or undressed and make her go through with it. Not in a mean way. Just in an "it really doesn't matter" way. Because it doesn't matter. She is two and her body is covered. She won't get cold. No big deal. Don't mention it again. Take back the power.

DS is just 3 and currently hates getting dressed because he doesn't want to have to do any of it himself. He can just about do his top if I put it the right way round, and needs me to put out his pants in the floor, hold each leg of the trousers, and do the first half of the socks, I usually get hit at least once during the sock pulling up.
He seems to like wearing the clothes though and enjoys choosing between e.g. his mushroom top and his triangle top (choice of two only). He also gets to choose a nappy for DD and decide who's getting dressed first.
But we absolutely have to get dressed before breakfast and I need to get dressed first on weekdays. I don't have a shower or coffee first but if I did I'd do it before going into their room.
I used to say "OK, no breakfast then" and I still very occasionally say "I'll leave you here, shut the stairgate, DD needs her breakfast". But now we work more on "these are the rules" and we worked up from top and pants needed for breakfast, put the rest on in the kitchen, to now top, pants, trousers and socks are needed before going downstairs.
We also do a lot of descriptive praise for small steps, currently mainly around learning to dress himself.

I have developed a slightly different strategy for when dd had decided clothes are for losers. After too many times when she has just taken all her clothes off again after we put them on her we now plan getting her dressed as the last thing we do before going out.

We make sure there is something she really wants to do that she needs to get dressed for. So, when I am ready to go I just tell dd m going to feed the ducks, see her friends at nursery, whatever. When she wants to come I just say, she had better get dressed really quickly then because we need to go now. Usually the excitement will propel her into clothes and out the door before she notices what had happened.

I personally wouldn't let her go out in PJs because I would never get her dressed again after I allowed it once. She has to have a minimum of clean pants and vague dressedness before we leave the house (shoes and coat I'll negotiate on). I do let her choose what she wears though if she wants to, which can result in some interesting looks