It is after midnight and once again my baby girl (10) is crying. She hasn't seen him since Christmas day. He hasn't called. She has sent texts and left voicemail messages.
I do what I can to facilitate access. We put our lives on hold when he calls. So today he rings and asks me to take them over at 9 tomorrow morning (half hour each way) for an hour or so, just so it doesn't take up his day. I don't tell them he has later plans, I just broach that he's called and asked them over for 9am for an hour or so. DD(15) is used to it now and says 'whatever'. DD(10) doesn't want to go. I won't force her. She may change her mind in the morning. I try to bolster them and we drop our plans whenever he calls. Until now they have always wanted to go.
It is almost 1am and she is still crying because she doesn't know what to do. I'm not even going to type what I think of him or feel about him right now...actually yes, yes I am. I wish he would just go away. For. Ever. He saw them 5 times last year including Christmas Day when he turned up unexpectedly when we had a houseful of guests. He only lives 15 mins away.
He asked me today if our phone was working properly because he'd been trying to call. Yes. Yes it has been working perfectly well all along.
I am so sad and angry for them.
The moment they say that they have had enough I will delete his number from my phone and never think of him again. For now, I just support them in this half-parent experience while seething silently and wishing him ill every Tuesday when he doesn't call as planned.