any mums to 2 loving it?

[ch1134]

There is so much negativity on here, I'm wondering if I've been completely naive...
I am ttc no.2, having loved every minute if no.1, currently 14 months old.
I am very maternal, have always wanted a big family, but was prepared to embrace the rough with the smooth with no.1...
I was led to believe my life would be turned upside down, I wouldn't know what had hit me, the baby would push me to my limits, I'd worry all the time etc. etc.
None of that happened. I didn't get baby blues, and I haven't had one day of feeling I can't cope yet.
I'm not trying to show off... I know there is a lot more to come yet but... I'm wondering if I'm in for the shock of my life if and when no.2 appears, or if maybe, the baby days are enjoyable, even with 2?
Did anyone enjoy 2 as much as 1, or is it inevitably tough?
All experiences and opinions welcome.

I found DS1 very, very hard work - and still went on to have 4

I think it all depends v much on how a. a person takes to parenthood and b. what kind of baby/ies they are blessed with

I did not like looking after babies/toddlers, but am very much enjoying my walking/talking/sensible (mostly!) older children.

You want more children - go for it!
You sound far better suited to it than I ever was and even I don't regret my choices.
Good luck

Erm, well I wasn't like you with no. 1. I found it really tough. Not because I worried, but I'm honestly not a baby person.

I loved having two. A toddler to hang out with and a baby to tag along .

Three. Now three is killing me. Well, not having three exactly. Having two older children in school and pre-school and the constant clock watching and fitting timings around other timings.

Penguins, my youngest is going to school in August!
It does get easier/less chaotic/more predictable - yes, the challenges change and grow in magnitude but I am enjoying parenthood so much more now.

Sorry for mini-hijack, OP.

Thanks Pacific. I am just looking forward to September and two in school, not three in different places. Can't believe your little one will be in school!

I love having two, but I have had two fairly easy babies and loved the newborn bit, and DC1 was 3.5 and at nursery and pretty independent when DC2 was born so that made things less stressful.

You've got at least a decade and a half of 2 kids at home.

Just saying

I have an 11 and an 8yo. They both have SN and they hate each other. The baby days were the most sleep deprived, but were also the easiest in may ways.

Thank you for the quick replies. I'd love to have 4 one day but may have left it a bit late! I'm interested in adoption.
I appreciate what hard work that must be though penguins, I admire you!

I've just had my 3rd (other 2 are 7 &5) it seems easier this time round as the oldest 2 are in school. When I had ds2 ds1 was 2 1/2 so still very dependant on me he did play up a bit at 1st every time I fed baby he'd need the toilet,drink,food,specific you etc basically anything to get me to stop feeding. This stopped very quickly but he was just a bit jealous and not understanding that he now has to share Mummy. They're very close now and although they fight and torment they love each other to bits. Best advice I can give is just to be organised and get a routine early on. Some days will pass and you'll wonder how you got through the day but the good far out weighs the bad. Good luck and dc2 x

I love having two, they're now 3 and 2 and play together beautifully (I am aware this may not last!). I thought the newborn days might kill me though. It was the lack of sleep that did it.

I'm TTC #2 and DS1 is 12 months. I found the newborn bit up to about 5/6 months utterly gruelling and I didn't enjoy it at all but since 6 months it's just got better and more wonderful everyday. I sometimes feel like I will explode with love and pride.

I know the early days of having two will be hard but I can't wait for another little personality to emerge.

My first year with two was bliss. Just shoved my (very easy) DD in a sling and spent every day off having wild adventures with my toddler DS. We went everywhere together like this and mat leave was great! Such a contrast to my year off with DS, which was lonely and full of new mum anxiety.

Since DD became a mobile, stroppy toddler though, it has been a very different story. We are much more restricted in what we can do and where we go. She also needs much more of me so I feel more torn. Overall though, I still prefer having two to one. My days are busier, there is company for everyone and I rarely have any of those long, "God is it really only 2:30pm" days I used to have with just me and DS.

I've got a 3 yo and an 18mo and I love love love them. I've started feeling its a bit relentless but we are booking a weekend away and that has totally cheered me up.its not then its the daily sleep, work, cook without getting to just lounge around in PJs all the timem

Life was very easy with my first. He was a breeze and a very calm child. He still is.

Second was very different. A whirlwind, didn't sleep well and very demanding of my attention. It was hard to adjust at times.

I think it's down to their personalities rather than the number.

Well on the basis that a lot of people find their second easier than their first, I suppose it can happen in reverse too! Sometimes posters here say they had an "easier" baby first or second. I can't imagine anyone with a baby with bad reflux or problems feeding or who woke every two hours at night for a year yes you ds2 saying they'd never had a day when they couldn't cope, so perhaps you have had it easy first time. No reason why you wouldn't have a similar experience next time though! I've found dc2 much easier to manage even though on paper he has been more difficult than his sibling. I'm just more confident in my own skills I suppose.

2 under 2 here and I bloody love it. Hardest thing I ever did, and I do worry, I don't get much sleep but DD and DS are fab!

Everyone's different.

There's 15 months between my two (god knows how, my first woke every 2 hours every single night from birth to when my second was born. Then they organised a rota to keep us awake until we broke )

It's been knackering but good fun.

posted too soon.

They're 14 and 15 now and I confidently expect to get a good night's sleep within the next 10 to 15 years

Agree BrandySnapper.

DS just didn't sleep until he was two, and I felt like a total failure for most of that time, not to mention crippled with exhaustion. DD slept well from day 1 so I felt I could take on the world. I think knowing how dreadful I felt with DS made me appreciate actually getting sleep so much more, so maybe my view of having two is rose tinted and I simply just felt better!

Fenella I'm exactly the same! 16mo between mine. I'm completely wrecked as neither of mine nap or sleep through the night but I do love it

I found it very hard going from 0-1, my life as I knew it changed completely and I mourned the loss, going from 1-2 was much easier and more enjoyable.

My 2yo and 4yo are adorable together.

The first year was intense though.

OP, you'll be great. I found it was logistics that made it difficult, ie differing needs at the same time. As they get older they share more interests and can play together more. I'd better go as they've started arguing

Holydrinker - that sounds wonderful! What my dreams are made of!
To be fair, my ds did have reflux... he was sick about 20 times a day for the first 6 months of his life, once in the swimming pool which was pretty embarrassing! And though I went back to work at 7 months, he only started sleeping through at 11 months. Some days I went to work on no sleep at all. And I have no family nearby at all.
His dad's away this weekend, and he kept me up all last night teething...
But he has always been so content, and from what I can gather it is so different if they're not happy.
I just enjoy my days so much. I honestly have no idea if I'll feel the same with 2 little ones!

I have 2, 2 years apart, the baby is nearly 6 months and I'm just now starting to get that lovely all consuming feeling of happiness and contentment that I had when dc1 was a baby.

I found pregnancy with a toddler incredibly hard and I didn't have an especially complicated pregnancy, throwing up whilst your toddler runs around unsupervised (he was terrified of me throwing up) is horrible, I think I have just struggled with feeling guilty about the compromises dc1 has had to make. For the last year we have watched far too much tv, I have not been as patient as I'd like, dc1 has had to learn to wait sometimes.

Now though things are really really lovely, they chat and giggle together, the baby sits and watches the toddler play and I feel like I have finally learnt to juggle their needs so no one is left with their needs unmet for too long.

I'm 22 weeks with my baby girl and ds is 14 months. I've had times when it's been incredibly hard- ds woke every 2 hours from around 6 months to 11.5 months which was a nightmare but I love it generally. Being pregnant has also been tough. I got quite bad morning sickness and we had to stay in a lot which was miserable. I think a lot of it comes down to coping with hard days rather than never having any. I'm actually quite pleased (wrong word really) that we've had some tough times and still got by so I know it's possible.
Being pregnant has made me worry about how I'll cope, I reckon ds will watch too much tv too and I simply can't get my head around how I'll bf this time around. I'm also a SAHM and at the moment dp takes ds out at weekends and gives me a rest- I'm anticipated less respite with number 2.

It's such a personal thing and as others have said depends on babies you have. But I find two really tough. There 2.5 years between them. I feel constantly guilty that I can't give enough to either. They got on really well although now dd2 is approaching 3, they are fighting more. Every day is a struggle. I can never regret having two as dd2 is just gorgeous. But having one is special and damn easier. You can actually enjoy parenting with one. I honestly don't really enjoy it with two.