If you kept your dc1 in nursery whilst on mat leave with dc2....

[BotBotticelli]

Did dc1 have any days off nursery when the new baby arrived??

Or did you just stick to the normal routine and keep taking dc1 to nursery in his/her paid-for days at the time you were giving birth and just afterwards? (Obviously DH or family members will do the nursery drop off and pick up if I am in labour and when the new baby is tiny).

For background I am pregnant with dc2. Will be taking 10 months mat leave (I currently work 4 days per week and DS goes to a lovely local nursery).

Whilst on mat leave we are going to keep ds1 in the nursery 3 days per week in order to maintain his routine, give me time to bond with the new baby and plus I don't think I would cope very well with them both at home 5 days per week (had quite bad PND after DS was born).

Interested to hear what worked for you in the days surrounding the birth of your second child.

No opinions on whether dc1 should be going to nursery or not please! That is a done deal!

Dd1 kept her normal hours at nursery when I had dd2. She was in 4 mornings a week and it was a sanity saver. I got to nap with the baby whilst she got to play with her friends and maintain some routine and normality. It also kept her place open.

I did similar to you. At first I kept ds1 in nursery 4 days a week. He was there when I gave birth. I don't think time off would have been good for him as he was 3.5yo and very active. Didn't want him stuck at home watching tv whilst I bf baby non stop.

After 4 months and in time for summer we went down to 3 days in nursery which was a money saving thing. By then baby not feeding as much so we could get out & about more. That extra day was a killer. We never really got into it and I generally disliked mat leave looking after baby plus nearly 4yo. My usual day off was always fine because we had a nice routine from pre ds2 days plus it was a Monday and ds1 somehow less tired at beginning of week.

So my advice would be to keep 4 days at first if you can afford it.

On the plus side being on mat leave meant I could drop ds1 off late (9-10ish) and pick up early (5ish). Which made for much nicer evenings and relaxed playing/ brekkie in the morning. Not enjoying my 7.30 drop offs, 5.30 pick ups now I'm back at work!

I loved my 3 'days off' where I just had ds2. It was nice to focus on baby. We didn't do much. It was the best time to stay on top of household stuff and I was so busy with looking after 2dc the year just flew by!

Enjoy

Kept to routine - ds was 2 and kept his there days with childminder - he was fine with the baby but actually seemed more unsettled by Any changes in routine

He loved childcare - his friends his fun place - home with me involves more TV on while I breastfeed and tired mum! If they like childcare it will be a sanctuary for them - and you!

I kept dd in nursery but changed from 3 to 2 days a week.

I changed from full days to half days, collecting him after his hot lunch.

I left DS1 in for three days a week. It was a sanity saver! He got to run around and see his friends and I got to be mum to a baby who slept a lot and who I could take out and push round in his pram and have a walk and a coffee in peace. We all benefited IMO. And no, he didn't ever question it - it was his regular routine and we just continued with it - so he had no reason to question.

Normal routine, 3 days a week though I sometimes picked him up early. He was just 4 and loved talking about Hos new baby sister at nursery! He then started school three months later so it all worked well for us. I love having protected baby time with dd, just as I had had for ds.

Kept DS1 in his usual three days for first month. Then dropped to 2 days.

My feeling was new arrival big enough disruption without further change in routine

I've kept DD in nursery 3 days a week to maintain her routine and to give DD2 some one to one time.

Re specifically the birth, 'luckily' I had a planned induction. It was for a day DS1 not usually in nursery so we paid for an extra day to send him and arranged for my B and SIL to collect him. We'd told him that would be happening and that mummy was going to have the baby etc

Kept DC1 in 3 days a week, dropping to one full day and two half days after a couple of months.

We didn't do extra days off when i had the baby, but then I had a ELCS and knew I'd need some recovery time!

Over the year, I took DC1 out a few days here and there to do days out or when some people were visiting etc.

How old is DC1? My DC1 was at pre-school age and his nursery also had a pre-school, really being at home all day wasn't an option anyway.

No first hand experience since i only have one dc but if i had a second now dc1 would still go to nursery. No question in my mind.

oh and when I had the CS, MIL came over to take DC1 to nursery (I had to be at the hospital at 8 so leave at 7:30), then picked him up and brought him to see the baby. He had anursery day the next day, then came with daddy to bring me home (had 2 days in). Really helped it was a 'normal' day other than MIL taking him and picking him up.

I've read in at least two books / articles that it's best to keep them in their routine and I think that it would be difficult for a toddler / preschooler to be home all week with you as it may be boring in the early days with the long feeds newborns need. I would definitely keep him busy and happy at school and he'll still get to spend loads of time with you!!

Thanks all! DS will be 2.8 months when dc2 arrives.

He is a boisterous boy who has always needed lots of 'entertaining' - hence why nursery works really well for him - loads of activities, a great garden and a paid army of entertainers!

Reassuring to hear you've all stuck with the normal routine.

I am a bit worried that he might kick off at going to nursery if he works out that I am going to be at home all day with the baby instead of at work as usual (he sometimes cries when it's time to go to nursery and we always talk him round by saying mummy's got to go to work, I will pick you up after work).

I don't want to lie to him and say I am going to work when I am not. He is bright as a button bless him and not much gets past him...

Did this situation ever come up for any of you? How did you deal with it?

(As an aside: am feeling a bit hormonal and worried at the moment about this crying in the morning when it's time to go to nursery. Is it normal for him to go through a phase of being clingy at drop off and not wanting to go?? For most of the previous Year he has been fine about it and skipped in happily.

He always has a whale of a time once he is there and never cries for more than a few mins - I peek through the window and he is usually fine once I have left the room).

He knows all the staff well and tells me about all the fun things they do, and seems happy/settled/well bonded with the staff when I pick him up.

Gah. Have hijacked my own thread! Is this normal??

There were some mornings a couple months in after DS2 born that DS1 would cry as DP took him to nursery. He's scream Mummy!!! as they left the house :(((( Thus was mainly after Xmas as he's had two weeks off and a house full of grandparents and am sure loved being at home where all the fun was happening.
However he was always fine once they got to nursery and he was always very happy when I picked him up.
Sometimes now he'll ask me what we're doing today and I say its nursery today and he'll say "no, not!" But then he's fine to go when it's time.
I think Ds1 knows that I'm not going to work but maybe I'm crediting him with too much. They live so much in the moment that they probably know it on some level but don't really understand.

There will be some days when he doesn't want to go to nursery but don't worry - it'll all be ok. I have to keep reminding myself that regardless of DS1 still going to nursery twice a week and me having a second child to deal with, DS1 still seeing more of me now than when I was at work and having a sibling is prob one of the best things I've done for him as a parent

Our nursery works in terms though is open nearly year round. Our DCs are adopted from overseas so we spent weeks and weeks meeting/arranging paperwork for DD and DS went to a sort of playgroup a couple of mornings a week then. He returned to his normal 3 days a week for the rest of that term when we got home.

I was going to switch to 2 days after that but DH pointed out I'd go bananas and he got his 2 year funding so we went back up to 3 days.

He also said "no nursery aday" sometimes but he's getting a lot more out of it now so I'm glad he's going more now.

I'm going back to work 3 days a week and have 2 days nursery and one CM booked for each of them. However, I may ask for some ad hoc extra mornings for DS as well - after all I had loads of time with DS alone before DD came along.

We are intending to keep dc1 at nursery 2 days a week when dc2 arrives - at the moment she does 2 mornings and 2 full days. We thought mornings would be hassle for me to pick her up. Full days mean DH can do both nursery runs if required.

Currently, DH picks her up on the full days and I get home later. We have discovered she gets VERY upset if she isn't first home, if she thinks one of us has been at home all day without her, she is not impressed. So it might not be the mornings that are the problem!

We've reduced DS1 down by one day. Now after 5 months, I get 'want to stay with mummy about 2 days a week, but he then runs out of the door when it's time to leave with DH. Definitely good to do if you want to and can afford to.

I put DS1 in for a few extra sessions around the birth of DS2, to give me time to recover, but mostly he has kept to his usual routine at nursery and even still goes to my DM once a week. I plan to drop that bit soon (ds is nearly 6mo and I feel on an even keel mentally) but he will likely still spend a day with her every few weeks as he loves spending time with her.

Re feeling bad about him working out you are at home. Our DS1 did go through a phase of being upset about nursery deapite being very settled previously. i assumed it was baby related, though it might have been developmental as he was about 2.8/ 2.9, like your DS.

when he seemed to suddenly clock i was staying at home with he baby I told him I had jobs to do, not quite a lie as I often do have errands which would be tricky with a toddler that I save for his nursery days. Also kept emphasising that he will see friends at nursery, reassuring him that I miss him too and look forward to seeing him etc. Now he's nearly 3 and totally passed the phase. He sill sometimes says he doesn't want to go but I can tell it's just habit. He often says it as he merrily walks out the door and with the next breath is telling me about what he will do with his friends

DD used to do four days a week at the CM while I worked (I did shifts so the days were totally random). DS arrived when DD was 2.10 and we changed plans with the CM that she would go two set days a week. As it happens she also started preschool at 3, so now she is at preschool every afternoon, and on the two CM days she has the morning and after preschool time with CM who does the drop off/pick ups those days. It means I get three drop offs/pick ups a week, plus two full "baby only" days.

We kept DC1 full time (6am to 16.30) for a month and now we've dropped it to 6am to 14.00 which he will stay on until late June when DC2 is 6 months. I'm not sure what we will do from there though.
I'm really glad we can as he wants to go every day he fetches his coat and shoes before its time to leave.

We plan to send both FT once DC2 is 1yr so want to keep DC1 in at least pt so we don't have to go through the induction process again.

My DS1 was also 2.8 months when DS2 came along. We dropped his hours, but I think he still did 3 sessions a week at nursery. I don't recall there being any reluctance to do this as he really enjoyed nursery.
DS2s arrival put his nose out of joint in general (he still does 5 years later) but w.r.t. nursery there was no reluctance to go even though he seemed aware that I had DS1 with me.

Kept to the same freebie 15hrs a week that Dc1 did pre DC2....in fact purposely started him in nursery (I work contracts so his childcare was ad hoc between child minders and grandparents up til then) a month before DC2 was due so he could get used to it and I could have a few mornings off during later pregnancy