do i have a second?

[AddictedtoGreys]

I have a DS who is 21 months old. absolutely adore him. my pregnancy was a bit complicated with lots of bleeding and hospital stays. The birth turned into an emergency forceps as my DS was back to back and his heart rate was dropping after 24 hours of contractions. it took me a while to get over it emotionally and I don't know if this has put me off.

I always thought I wanted a big family, but now i am not sure I want a second child. however I wanted my DS to have a brother or sister growing up as I loved having the company of my brother.

I have a DSD who is 5 years older than him, they see each other on weekends.

my DH isn't too sure either as he says he already has 2.

Im confused!

if I do have another I would rather have a second sooner rather than later to allow me to get back to working full time,,etc quicker to help us financially.

anyone else felt like me? what did you do?

TIA

I'm not in your situation but my best friend is and we've had this conversation lots of times.

I think you have to work out whether you really want another child or whether you just want your first child to have a sibling. I'm not sure it's fair on you or the new baby if it's just for the latter.

If it's the birth that's putting you off (and let's face it, it sounds like you had a really tough time) then perhaps getting some counselling about this might help. There's no reason why the second birth will be like the first. I had a not very nice first birth and super quick and straightforward second one.
Good luck - it's a really tough decision to make.

thank you.

I wouldn't have another baby just for a sibling for my DS, they are far too much hard work for that but I always wanted a large family as I come from one. lots of kids, big family meals, grandchildren that sort of thing

talking to my DH I don't get the sort of conversation I want, and none of my female friends have been in my situation. we decided to see how we feel after our holiday this summer, maybe things will be a bit clearer then.

I'm in a very similar situation to you. I'm an only child and was so miserable growing up (we lived in a small village and my mum didn't have a car - it was very lonely). DH is one of six and had a lovely childhood - we always thought we'd have at least 3.

DS is 2 and it's been a really tough couple of years (reflux and CMPI, both diagnosed very late on), DS still doesn't sleep very well and rarely goes through the night.

I'd like another child, but not another baby! It's such a hard decision. I would second the idea of speaking to somebody about your first pregnancy / birth.