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Original poster

smacking

53 replies

Katekoom · 28/02/2015 22:40

im on the fence about smacking bottoms and my little one is far too young for it to even be an issue but I'm curious...

As a child i got the odd bum smack with hand, slipper, wooden spoon when my behaviour was bad. I'm wondering, are parents even allowed to smack anymore?

Do you give a smacked bum?

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ThinkIveBeenHacked · 28/02/2015 22:43

I dont know if it is "allowed" but I dont smack. Neither does DH.

I was smacked very infrequently.

It is my opinion (rightly or wrongly) that smacking is hitting. Hitting with an object is abusive. Hitting with a hand is a terrible form of discipline - there are much more effective and controlled options available.

ouryve · 28/02/2015 22:46

How would you feel about someone smacking your bottom whenever you did something they disagreed with, Kate?

firstposts · 28/02/2015 22:51

No never. Smacking is hitting, so it should be called hitting. My children have at times pushed me to the brink but having been 'smacked' right up to teenage years I know very well what damage it does. Not physically but to trust in adults and self esteem.

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DoctorTwo · 28/02/2015 22:57

I had the shit beaten out of me as a kid. My own kids were treated, by me, like the dog I'd trained to walk to heel. I didn't use slaps, I used random noises. Well, not random, eanch noise meant something, and the dog and the kids understood what they meant especially when they saw the accompanying hand signals.

My tip: train your toddler the same you would a puppy. It works. Except your DCs wont bark.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 28/02/2015 22:59

I have done it in the past but it made me feel so terrible about what I was doing that I stopped.

I have however been known to threaten a smacked bum as well. Which is probably just as bad as they will still fear the smack.

I have said it without thinking at school so many times. They probably think I'm awful. Blush

caravanista13 · 28/02/2015 23:03

If it was done to an adult it would be classed as assault. I can't see how doing it to a smaller and more defenceless person could possibly be acceptable.

Fairylea · 28/02/2015 23:04

Nope. Never smacked and never will. (Even though I was smacked as a child). I just don't agree with it at all.

LabelsMustFaceOut · 28/02/2015 23:11

I'd never hit my own child. Ever.

CoupdeFoudre · 28/02/2015 23:14

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Showy · 28/02/2015 23:19

There will be a few people on in a bit to tell you the following things...

They smack when their child runs in the road/touches plug sockets/goes near a hot oven because nothing shows relief and/or a lesson in safety like hitting a child apparently.

It's better than this namby pamby wishy washy pleading with little Johnny crap that is the only alternative to smacking.

Time out and shouting are much more abusive.

Back when children were routinely hit society was a much better place and children are terrible for want of a wallop.

I only tap my child, it works when nothing else does.

I was smacked and it did me no harm.

You can't compare it with hitting adults as children are small and defenceless and vulnerable and need a smack to reinforce this.

There. We don't need the thread now.

Grin

I have never and will never smack a child. I find it abhorrent.

ch1134 · 28/02/2015 23:20

I was smacked occasionally as a child. I never understood why at the time. Looking back I realise it happened when my parents were especially stressed, not when my behaviour was especially bad. I don't think it was effective for that reason.

Original poster
Katekoom · 01/03/2015 08:45

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

I think its clear that modern parenting techniques have the edge on the old school bum smack. I think getting a smacked bum worked for me as a child, but then i was petrified of dear old dad, the designated smacker.

Ouryve - a bit unnecessary, as i said I'm just curious as to what mums think, not looking to be strung up as an evil bum smacker Smile

OP posts:
LittleLionMansMummy · 01/03/2015 08:53

I was smacked a few times by my mum. She admits it was nothing more than loss of control.

No, I don't believe that smacking is an effective way to discipline your child. It teaches them that violence is ok in some situations. I've never smacked and hope I never will do as I will consider myself to have failed.

Swingball · 01/03/2015 08:54

No because there's no need for it. I wasn't smacked as a child either. It belongs in the past as a parenting technique and any smacking in anger needs to be got a grip of sharpish.

OccamsLadyshave · 01/03/2015 08:55

Reasons i don't smack:

  1. All the reasons above
  2. If you hit kids you model hitting as acceptable, which is more likely to make them hit at school when things don't go their way
  3. If you hit when you are cross or angry it's impossible to judge the force you are using and easy to overdo it
  4. Where do you go from there if it doesn't stop the bad behaviour?
  5. When do you stop? My dd is 13 now and I'm pretty sure she could hit me back harder
Cat2014 · 01/03/2015 08:56

No way. Abhorrent excuse for 'discipline'.

NickyEds · 01/03/2015 10:42

I will not hit my children. My mum once smacked me for hitting my cousin. At 5 years old the irony wasn't lost on me. I don't want my child to be terrified I'll hit them. I think you need to ask yourself two questions;

When my kids are bigger than me/their cousin/their neighbour will I be happy for them to smack them on the bottom?

Is there anyone else in your life you routinely hit? Grandma just doesn't understand any more so I slapped her hand???

SandorClegane · 01/03/2015 10:46

I don't hit anyone, children included. Because it's not okay to hit people.

Callooh · 01/03/2015 10:46

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cuckoowith2 · 01/03/2015 11:44

Never have,never will!

LabelsMustFaceOut · 01/03/2015 15:16

fleeting redness

You'd have to hit quite hard to achieve that I reckon.

Makes my stomach turn. Anyone who wants to cause their child physical pain needs to take a look at themselves. I agree entirely with showy's post.

Callooh · 01/03/2015 16:09

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Jaffakake · 01/03/2015 18:17

I'm 36. My elder brother was smacked on occasion. I learnt from his smacks & although I must have been, I can't remember it.

Now I'm a mum, I don't smack & haven't really been tempted to. It's totally counterintuitive to hit a child that you have been telling not to hit others! There are much more successful techniques & it confuses me why our parents never figured it out!

1stBabyQuestions · 02/03/2015 00:21

My mom smacked me on the back of my legs once, I don't remember the smacking but I do remember my mom crying and apologising to me. I realised because of her tears, not the snacking, that my behaviour was wrong and I upset her. This was 26+ yrs ago, I'm a mom now and I've already thought about how I will manage challenging behaviour. I don't think I would ever smack, and being a CM I like to think I know how to deal with 'naughtiness' but I would never judge my mom for doing what she did.

Pasithea · 02/03/2015 00:27

My DH grandchildren are smacked. So we find it difficult to reprimand them unless we threaten a smack