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Parenting

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Original poster

"Playing out" is it what it sounds like and do people really let 5yos do it?

64 replies

CountessDracula · 25/10/2006 18:23

I have heard mention of this on several threads recently

Does it just mean letting kids play in the street or local area on their own?

There seem to be a lot of very young kids doing this! Is it normal?

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PanicPants · 25/10/2006 18:25

I've seen children younger than 5 playing out by themselves, it happens all the time.

My poor ds will have to wait until he's 15

Original poster

CountessDracula · 25/10/2006 18:26

But don't they get run over etc? I honestly can't believe it. I mean, you are not allowed to leave a young child at home alone even if asleep, surely they could come to more harm outside!

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Tutter · 25/10/2006 18:26

haven't heard it since i was a kid(in yorkshire it was "lakin out"

yes - outside, unsupervised

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Tutter · 25/10/2006 18:26

but not 5yos even then

californifright · 25/10/2006 18:30

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Original poster

CountessDracula · 25/10/2006 18:31

your neighbours live in their garage

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nellie245 · 25/10/2006 18:42

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GeorginaA · 25/10/2006 18:53

Ds1 does and he's 5... but by playing out I mean he plays on the shared driveway of us and two other houses and the footpath running parallel to that. He knows that he is not allowed anywhere else, and that if a ball or something runs onto the (very quite cul-de-sac) road then he's to get me to retrieve it.

He only goes out if the 5 year old girl 2 doors down is playing outside too (she has two older siblings who are usually out and about with her, and her dad or mum is usually pottering about in their garage too) and I check that I can hear him/see him every few minutes.

It's a bit younger than I'd have liked, ideally, but he was keen to go out with his friend, he doesn't go far and I do keep a fairly close eye. He enjoys himself and it's helped with his confidence no end.

JonesTheSteam · 25/10/2006 18:53

We live in a very quiet close of 11 houses. There is a large grassy area in the middle and drives around it - hardly any road to speak of. Most of the families have children of a similar age to DD (5) or slightly older.

Over the summer she was allowed to play out the front with the other children but she could be pretty much seen / heard all the time and I popped my head out every so often to check up on her.

She knows better than to leave our close (she did once over the summer, but I made her come straight in and she was grounded for 2 days). The front door was open most of the time as well.

If DS (3) wants to go out to play, then I go out with them and stand around aimlessly or sit and read a book!!

Tinker · 25/10/2006 19:14

My eldest has played out since she was about 5 or 6. Perfectly normal.

californifright · 25/10/2006 19:14

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GeorginaA · 25/10/2006 19:17

Ooo your neighbourhood sounds lovely...

quofan · 28/10/2006 08:35

my three aged 10, 8 and 5 play out but I sit out aswell. Great in summer, bloody awful in colder, rainy windy weather. Always on hand to shout Car! Bike! or whatever. I am just too scared to let them play on their own. I keep thinking of all the awful things that have happened; Sarah Payne, Holly and Jessica, and so on. The world is such a different place these days.

busybusymum · 28/10/2006 08:40

I've had 4 years old with younger siblings in tow calling at my door for my DD to "play out" when she has been alseep for 2 hours It was a dark night last winter and they called for DD at 9pm!!!!!!!!!!!

ironically we moved her party for the larger garden for the kids and we are the only ones who encourage their children to play in the garden not on the street!

ludaloo · 28/10/2006 08:53

I let my 5 yo dd play out....in our garden. My 3yo ds sometimes plays too..but he much prefers staying in.
My big problem is every other child in the close plays in our garden....I must be the only mum with any concerns! I have 5 yolds... a 6 yo ..a 3 yo who lives across the way...and no concered mums watching them (apart from me!)I have to put up with it though as my dd1 wants to play with them...its let them in the garden or let my dd1 out... It makes me cross that all the other mums just let theirs out!!!!!!!! (especially the 3 yo who constantly knocks my door for a wee or a drink or something!)

ludaloo · 28/10/2006 08:55

My dd1 also has a good friend who is 5 too who lives a couple of doors down...her mum lets her stay out playing on the green at the back of the houses til god knows what time....my dd1 gets very upset and sits in her window watching her....I feel mean..but my dd1 is in bed for 8 oclock and I have to shut the curtains on the other kids!!

nutcracker · 28/10/2006 09:03

I live in a cul de sac and all the kids except mine are allowed to play out the front. Next doors kids have been playing out since they were 2. The middle one is now 3 and is allowed to go with his 5 yr old brother all the way down the road, across the road to the play area

Many a time I have sat with my heart in my mouth watching their kids as some idiot speeds round the bend into their drive.

roisin · 28/10/2006 09:22

My dss started playing out when they were about 4. There were lots of children of a similar age, and for the first couple of years we would keep a close eye out: usually at least one parent would be standing at the gate/sitting on a wall reading a paper or something. But gradually we retreated back into our houses to allow the children some freedom. They have very strict boundaries - must stay within eyesight of our gate, must come and ask before going to play in someone else's garden, must stay on the footpath, etc. It helps that it's a close neighbourhood, so if an adult finds any child misbehaving they will roundly tell them off, and if appropriate march them back to their house to explain what they've been up to.

theunknownrebelbang · 28/10/2006 09:41

Mine have played out since that age. We live right opposite a play area and we watched - a lot - when they were younger. Plus there are three of them, so when the younger ones started to play out, they had an older brother with them.

Prior to that (we moved here when the eldest was 5) the house was on a main road and there is no way they could have played out.

MaloryTowersTaurean · 28/10/2006 09:43

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theUrbanDryad · 28/10/2006 10:31

i was never allowed to play out as a child, but we lived fairly close to a main road and had a fairly big garden! (well, it felt big when i was a kid anyway) think it depends on where you live - my dh for example has always lived in the country and was allowed to roam pretty much wherever on his bike and so on. i think that's really nice, but i would be worried about paedos, even in a rural area. probably paranoia, but there you go. not sure i would let a 5yo out on their own, would probably wait until about 10 or 11 or so.

hangingbyathread · 28/10/2006 11:36

perefectly normal but does depend on where you live,we live in a small quiet culdesac,theres never a child outside alone always a group of them,i&others often pop outside to check on them,they never go out of the culdesac,they are various ages out there from 3-12

amynnixmum · 28/10/2006 11:41

One of the children in our street used to get sent to get milk from the shop which was a five minute walk away from his house, completely out of site of any of the houses on our street and on a busy main road - he was just 4

My dd plays out now but she is 7.

3andnomore · 28/10/2006 12:00

I really think it depends on where you live and what your children are like and the nieghbourhood!
When es was 4 I started let him out wiht his friends, but we lived in a lil army estate which was save and everyone knew everyone else, etc....must admit thouhg, that , if ds hadn't come back in for somehting or other say after 15/20 minutes I would go out and see where he was and if he was alright!
We now live in a different area and not in an army estate anymore and MS is now 4 years old, and even though es, now 10, plays out here on his own, I would not do this generally with ms, sometimes he is allowed out with some of the older girls, and they take him for a wee walk, but that is it, he is not yet out playing there, I rather have th e hords of Kids ini my house or garden instead!

3andnomore · 28/10/2006 12:01

Ooops forgot to say though, it seems to be rather common here though for 4 year old plus to be allowed out on their own!

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