Stressed with 3 children!

[Millionairerow]

I have 3 small children, 2 dogs and a husband. I work full time from home nd I'm the breadwinner. My kids have beem angelic, but now the 2.5 year old is reaching 3 they are all getting naughtier. They fight, they bounce off each other and I've been finding I've been shouting more and more which they are ignoring. How do you issue punishments? For eg, my 4 year old freaked when I put my 2 year old in buggy to get son from school (not for the first time but I thought she was growing out of this) because she was tired and would not walk. She howled and howled and eventually I counted to 3 and said she wouldn't get bed time stories. Then it was the iPad and TV but she kept going!!!! Now she's all hoarse and I just could not get through to her. My 2.5 yr old also keeps taking the cushions off my sofa and jumping on them. I keep putting her on the naughty step but she just is so strong she walks ofF! How do you get the message through. I'm getting so stressed with it!

Throwing a tantrum over wanting to go in a buggy is not really 'naughty' behaviour, I would just let her carry on until she was done, but discuss it with her later (offer hugs if she is receptive) - if she is really upset about something then her 'thinking brain' is not really engaged so any threats are going to be met on deaf ears.

If is a regular occurance pick a time when she is calm and explain then that if this behaviour continues then the consequence will be .... - then next time she kicks off give one warning and then the consequence you have chosen (you must go through with the consequence or they will pay no attention to anything you say).

Also if she is really tired after school is there a scooter or buggy board that she could use?

The 2 year old I would just ignore the cushion thing, she will get bored of it soon, ask her to help you put them back, don't make a big issue or she will think it is funny to annoy mummy and pick your battles! If she is jumping on them all the time and you really don't want her to, then either redirect her to another activity with lots of positive attention and praise or take the cushions away so she can't do that. I wouldn't bother trying to put her on the naughty step over such a small issue.

HTH

I have 3 young ones as well and no advice sorry... Sometimes i feel like i am firefighting all day... Change a wet trousers, start to cook, mitigate an argument, clean the toothpaste smeared all over the bathroom mirror, blow someones nose, come back to cooking, try to think about discussion about topic work, stop a naughty behaviour.... It never ends... BUT they are very cute when they sleep! Good luck

This book helped me a lot with this sort of thing. Particularly with picking your battles (I list mine in priority order...not saying please and thank you is ranked higher than cushions on the floor, so that gets worked on first).

Also in the book is listing/explaining to you DC's what you will be doing (the 'you' being all of you), telling them what behavior you expect and what rewards/consequences there will be if they do/do not do what you need them to do. I make any consequences or punishments within a short time span of the incident. I have also learnt the really hard way discovered that once they are in melt down mode, listing more and more punishments won't work, they just don't hear or care.

Then there was the 6 praises/positive words to 1 telling off/correction/whatever you want to call it. They love doing things for themselves so I try and make most of that because it helps me out and gives me more to praise. I am careful with the praise thing though because IMO there is nothing worse than seeing children patronised by being praised in a condescending voice for really basic stuff!

Recommending books is ok, but of course you have to have the time to read them.

Time out also works, I feel a lot more patient with them all after an afternoon out with a friend having lunch.