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Giving up breastfeeding ? /Night weaning ?

4 replies

eepie · 24/02/2015 16:36

My DD is 7 months and she started on solids at 5 months but doesn't eat very much at all. Some meals loads and some meals next to nothing. We do a mixture of BLW and spoonfeeding. She still wakes up at least 2 x a night to breastfeed and was feeding every 2 hours in the day time until a month ago. When she was around 6 months she started feeding every 3 hours and then about 2 or 3 weeks ago it changed to every 4 hours and sometimes she will go 5 hours without a breastfeed. This is mainly because she is too busy to feed unless we are in a dark room and she is going down for a nap. If I try to feed her outside these times say in someone else's house where there are things to look at, or in public she will either refuse completely and try and sit up and get off my lap or she'll throw her head back and cry, completely offended I've offered the boob ! OR she'll eagerly latch on and suck for 2 seconds and then pull off and be distracted by something (sometimes even her own hand!) and then if I try and guide her back to the boob she does the dramatic crying again. Sometimes I can tell she really wants to feed (a sign of this is she tries to suck my face, chin, mouth..basically comes at me with an open mouth meaning Mummy I want to feed from you!) Then I offer the boob and it is like she has ADD she cannot stop looking at everything around the room...then when I give up she cries as I know she is hungry but she 'waits' until I take her home and get her into the dark room to take a feed. Obviously I don't want to force her but since this has been happening she has been waking more at night and taking more milk at night (so 20 mins of me trying to stay awake whilst she has both boobs) rather than before she'd have one boob and then flop back to sleep & I'd put her back in her cot and run back to bed. At that point I obviously thought great she is having less milk at night...closer to night weaning maybe. Now night weaning seems like a distant dream......If I try and just feed her with one boob she wakes up an hour later crying for the rest of her feed. But I just can't get her to feed more in the day. I feed her in the dark before every nap (thats only 3 x a day now) and at 7am when she wakes up but sometimes it's even difficult to get her to have this breastfeed as she is too excited to be awake etc she often doesn't drink very much milk at all, even if she was last fed at 4am. Some nights she struggles to go 3 hours without a feed. I'm just really confused. Also she has 6 teeth now - 4 on top and 2 on bottom & she latches on really hard & it's starting to hurt now with the teeth. I also feel a bit resentful that she won't feed much in the day time but then expects more milk at night at a time when I wish I could night wean her.... Just so tired. And she'll be 8 months soon....I just really never expected to still be breastfeeding that much at night at 8 months old....
Is she weaning herself or is it just a phase ? How would I go about night weaning so she'd have more appetite in the day time ? Any advice or experience shared would be most welcome ! Thanks !

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NellyTheElephant · 24/02/2015 17:07

I do think it is possible to night wean if you want to - although not for everyone. First couple of nights will be hard work and more tiring, but worth it. I did this with my DC3 when he was only 3 months old (might sound harsh, but i was at breaking point from lack of sleep and looking after two pre school DDs - something had to give, he was healthy and great weight and as he was my third child I was reasonably confident).

At the time he was having a last feed 10pm ish then feeding 2x in the night (2am ish and 5am ish). I simply made a decision not to feed him until the 2nd feed slot (so not before 5am) and stuck to it. First couple of nights were hell, when he woke 2am ish I sat up with him in my arms, he was crying, eventually I was crying, but I didn't feed him and eventually he fell asleep in my arms from sheer exhaustion and I took him into bed and we both then slept to 5am ish and then I fed him. Next night similar, but easier - he fell asleep sooner. Within a week I was able to simply settle him back to sleep when / if he woke at that 2am ish slot. I then started on the next feed - arbitrary decision not to fed him before 6.30am which I considered to be morning. Similar but simpler task of cuddling him while he cried until he dropped asleep from sheer frustration and exhaustion, but again after a couple of days all was well. So within about 10 days we went from 2x up in the night to sleeping through (or brief night wakes with no feed). It wasn't easy or nice initially - he wanted a feed and was upset and so was I, but for the sake of my sanity and our family a short burst of concentrating on the night weaning worked a treat. My milk supply regulated itself after a couple of days.

CityDweller · 24/02/2015 21:43

Really common behaviour for a baby this age. Look up 'distractible baby' on Kellymom website. And also typical is for a distractible baby to then 'reverse cycle' (i.e. feed at night instead of during the day). DD went through this from about 4 months until 7ish. I just went with the flow and suddenly, to my utter surprise, she dropped all night feeds over night at 8.5 months. I'm glad I didn't bother with the faff of trying to night wean.

What I did do a little bit of, however, at about 6 months, was gently decrease her night feeds. So, I set a limit on how frequently I would feed (every three hours, and not before midnight) and sent DH in at other times. This reduced her night feeds from god-knows-how-many to 2 or 3 max a night.

DD's sleeping through/ self night-weaning coincided with her learning to crawl and her solid's intake becoming quite consistent.

Hang in there. He won't be waking to feed forever!

CityDweller · 24/02/2015 21:43

Sorry - she won't be waking to feed forever...

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eepie · 25/02/2015 12:23

Thanks so much CityDweller that gives me hope ! I have been trying to send DH in before 12 actually already and again if she wakes at 5.30am or something and if she was last fed at 2.30am to try and encourage longer sleep periods. Sometimes she is able to settle without a feed but only if DH goes in, not me. Other times she will settle for 10 mins then start crying again and this repeats for about an hour until she is inconsolable and I finally feed her. This happened this morning except my DH lay with her asleep on his chest from 6.30am - 7.30am instead of keeping trying to put her down as he was exhausted, then when I went in to feed her at 7.30 she didn't want to feed she was just happy & looking around (even though the room was still dark) and trying to touch my face and just didn't not want to feed. I kept offering all throughout the next hour and she didn't want to feed until 8.30 when she went down for a short morning nap. !!! So confusing !
Maybe it's a separation anxiety thing .... hmm. Hope when she starts crawling that may help the sleep. ....

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