Help with screen time please

[mootime]

DS is 4.5 and we are having a nightmare with tv. He has always been very happy to watch TV and is the type that if its on he can do nothing else. As such he's generally been very restricted, but there are times that he's had more than others (when his Dd and the DB arrived, when he visits my parents, when I'm ill etc.) but no matter how much or how little he is allowed he always wants more, constantly pesters for it, and talks about it ALL the time. I've tried everything, being totally screen free, allowing him 30 mins everyday, etc etc. he's now at the point where he moans about it all the time to the point where I feel I can't let him have any, and then if eventual he is allowed some TV he has a massive tantrum when he has to turn it off.
Does anyone have any wise words or thoughts?

I would decide how long and how often you are happy for him to watch TV. Then tell him, and explain that constant asking and whinging will mean he doesn't get the next session of screen time. Same with the tantrums for turning it off - if he has a massive tantrum then he doesn't get the next session.

I would also couple that with lots of praise for good behaviour around screen time, as well as lots of gentle reminders about how the whole thing works.

Mine were like that so I just did a blanket ban for the weekdays.
They can watch some on Friday (usually a film) and have some TV/games time on the weekends)

It is hard at first but preserver as it'll be worth it. Keep him active with other things and don't give in to the initial moaning. Say it's broken or something.
After a couple of weeks, my dcs didn't even ask for the TV and do lots of other things.

I'd just set some limits and really stick with them - if you say 30 mins but he knows if he kicks off he might get an extra 5 then it's worth his while (not saying you do that but if you might?!) When DDs were younger I'd sometimes say it was broken (lazy but effective), or you could go cold turkey and take it away completely for a week or so?

I'd also make sure he has other options of things to do - is there anything else he likes? Arts & crafts, baking, playing outside, puzzles, reading with you etc.. If you give him more attention and do something fun together that might help?

Considering where you are at the moment I think I'd remove access completely for a while if you can face it though, good luck:)

Hmm I'd go the other way and just have it on all the time at home but in the background, so not loud enough to totally take over, and encourage him to play with other things as well. It sounds utterly mad but I think if you make it less of a forbidden treat it quickly loses its appeal. I know mumsnet seem to view tv as awful and that no child under 5 should be watching tv but I'm not too sure it matters as long as they have a lot of outings and other things going on. Both my dc have always had the tv on, as did I, and they've turned out absolutely fine and in the top sets etc.

30 mins a day is hardly anything. I wouldn't like it if someone said to me all I could watch all day was one episode of something....! I'd have a tantrum too.

Thanks for the thoughts. We've started a bit of a 40mins after tea/ before bed routine and he is starting to be a bit better about turn off time. That way he and his sister choose one programme each.
Fairy lea, I knew what you are saying, I grew up in a house where thebTV was always on, but he really wouldn't leave the tv all day. Also our tv is in a room that is totally separate from everything else, so it's kind of the TV room (toys in a different place).

I think I'm going to try to get less stressed about it too. I guess it's a part of life and as long as it doesn't dominate his day a bit of TV is not that bad. He loves his lego, reading, etc and other wise is a well rounded little guy. I probably need to lighten up a bit!