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Parenting

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Original poster

dummies. good? bad? how do you use one?

22 replies

Katekoom · 23/02/2015 17:24

I'm not anti-dummy, but i never really fancied using one with my dd.

She suffers with bad gas so i thought i could try giving her the dummy when shes having a little cry to stop her from swallowing air and making the gas worse.

For example, today she just woke and needed a feed but the dog wanted to go out, i needed a wee, was gasping for a brew and starving. Normally I'd rush around calling out to her that 'mummys coming' letting her cry for 5 minutes, but today i gave her the dummy and she happily sucked away.

I feel guilty though, as if the dummy will hinder her in some way? She's just starting to self settle at night and nap times so i really don't want to mess that up.

If i only use it for those fleeting moments when i would just be letting her cry am i going to mess with her self settling?

Do you use a dummy? And if so, how do you use it?

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Original poster

Katekoom · 23/02/2015 17:25

Shes 6 weeks by the way.

OP posts:

AddictedtoGreys · 23/02/2015 17:29

I don't think using a dummy when they are tiny is wrong. as long as they don't have one too long to affect their teeth.

I never gave one to my DS, purely because I was a nightmare for my DM when she tried to take mine away and i didn't want the same fight

I breastfed my DS until 8 months and there were a couple of occasions I wished I had used a dummy, especially when he tried to use me as one.

just do whatever works for you

HollyBen · 23/02/2015 17:41

DD would occasionally feed and feed and feed until she was sick. We discovered she was as happy sucking a finger as me, so gave her a dummy. We took it away when she was 18 months and started asking for it or just finding them and popping it in. No adverse affects on speech, teeth etc

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TheFecklessFairy · 23/02/2015 18:59

My son had one until he was eight (ASD). It never affected his teeth and it gave enormous comfort. I've never understood the naysayers, but each to his own.

TywysogesGymraeg · 23/02/2015 19:06

I never used a dummy for either DD. Never felt the need to

Biscuitsneeded · 23/02/2015 19:12

I think it's Ok for a baby, if it helps. I didn't use them but I don't see why people shouldn't, if they find them useful. But I hate seeing 3 year-olds (and older!) with dummies. They really do have a negative effect on speech and teeth, so I'd want to be sure I had the strength to wean a child off them at a reasonable age before I committed to using one.

Nocturne123 · 23/02/2015 19:18

A dummy really helped ds sleep in the first few weeks. After this he decided he would no longer be tricked into sleeping .

NickyEds · 23/02/2015 20:26

Ds is 14 months and has has a dummy from around 3 weeks-ish. The dummies "live" on a shelf next to his cot so he can have them when he's sleeping and hands them back to me when he wakes up-if sometimes a little begrudgingly. I think it's fine. DS was a very sucky baby and I really think he would've sucked his thumb if he hadn't had one (he sucked his thumb within minutes of being born!) and I really prefer him to have a dummy.

Iwish · 23/02/2015 20:27

My DS never had one but my DD had reflux and it helped to soothe her. I didn't give her one till she was about 10 weeks so everything before 10 weeks was hard and full of crying. It made a huge difference and I'm so had I gave it to her. She's 13 months now and has it at night and sometimes during the day. Xx

Zebrasinpyjamas · 23/02/2015 20:38

I was quite anti dummy but after having a son with reflux my husband tried giving him one after hours of crying one night. It worked so I was converted! He is now 8 months and it gives him comfort so I'm glad I did it. Now, He has it as he falls asleep in his cot only. If he wakes up in the night, often we can hand him it back and he will fall back asleep instantly. He sees it as a sleep cue. However, while he likes it but it wouldn't be a disaster if he didn't have it now.
I don't worry too much about the risk of speech delay or teeth problems as he doesn't have it that much and I intend to get rid of it by the time he is one (hope I'm not being too optimistic here!)

Passmethecrisps · 23/02/2015 20:43

My dd used one from 4 weeks when I tried it in desperation as she was blue with crying from reflux.

She is two now and weaning Her off it is proving hard. We are increasingly strict about only using it for sleep or when poorly. I hate the look of it but it so helped her.

If we had a second I wouldn't worry about using them again but would have stricter rules about use

TheBuggerlugs · 23/02/2015 21:20

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stressbucket1 · 23/02/2015 21:35

DD1 wasn't interested DD2 was and it worked like a dream for her. We kept it for sleep times or car seat/pram to settle out and about. 11 months ish I noticed she had gone to sleep for a nap in her cot without it and without much fuss settled fine without it that night so we got rid. We were very lucky I think but it did make me wonder if it's easier to do when they are younger than trying at 2ish

BrianButterfield · 23/02/2015 21:38

DS was very sucky and loved a dummy from about 3 weeks. He spat it out one day at 6m and never had one again! DD was offered a dummy but never liked it and still sucks her thumb at 14m, showing no signs of stopping. On balance, perhaps the dummy was the lesser evil.

Original poster

Katekoom · 23/02/2015 21:47

Thats all really interesting, thanks for the points of view. I'm thinking we will use it sparingly and try to avoid it becoming associated with sleep. But i certainly won't feel bad for using one.

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nikizeezee · 23/02/2015 21:49

Please don't worry about dummies. My DS was addicted until he was 4 when he just announced it was for babies and handed it to me to throw away. I had worried myself sick over it for years. I tried to keep it for bedtimes and it was a good incentive to get him to go to bed and stay there. I used a dummy clip to keep it attached to his pyjamas. He is an A* predicted 15 year old now, lovely straight teeth and very articulate. DD on the other hand wouldn't have one. She was a very difficult baby as I didn't have a 'secret weapon' to pacify her. I ended up breastfeeding her for 16 months. She is 13 and just had a brace fitted.

hideandseekpig · 23/02/2015 21:54

I tried to give my dd a dummy a few times when she was tiny and she just spat it out. She always preferred sucking her middle two fingers and she still does now - only when she is going to sleep though so it doesn't bother me at all.

Buglife · 24/02/2015 09:21

I didn't until DS was 10 weeks as I didn't want his little face covered up or stop him cooing at me! But he screamed for 10-15 minutes before falling asleep for naps and would only feed to sleep at night. The dummy is only used when he is sleepy and ready to go to sleep.

LittleLionMansMummy · 24/02/2015 10:08

Never used one as I never felt I needed to. I don't like it when I see parents repeatedly try to shove a dummy in their child's mouth (and them repeatedly spitting it out) to stop them crying. I'd always thought that if a child is crying they're crying for a reason. And I hate seeing older children walking around with them in their mouths. But I do understand that some babies might need something to sooth them or other reasons so if it's right for some babies and parents.

TheGirlAtTheRockShow · 24/02/2015 10:29

I didn't want DD to have one, but she wanted to comfort suck and couldn't (overactive letdown). So she's hadone since 6 weeks (now 8 months).she has it to sleep mainly. DH will give it to her other times but I'm trying to cut down on that. I don't like seeing older children walking round with dummies in trying to talk. I aim to be rid of it by 18 months, not sure how though.

mrsnlw · 24/02/2015 17:19

Our son had one from growth spurt 1 (4w) when we couldnt swettle him. we noticed we although we had said he would only have it when upset that we would start to give it to him when he made a noise that sounded upset etc. He now just has it at bedtime or when he's upset/unsettled and its worked well for us.

mrsnlw · 24/02/2015 17:19

Our son had one from growth spurt 1 (4w) when we couldnt settle him. we noticed we although we had said he would only have it when upset that we would start to give it to him when he made a noise that sounded upset etc and he ended up spitting it out/with dummy rash. He now just has it at bedtime or when he's upset/unsettled and its worked well for us. He's 6m

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