Not enjoying my toddler at the moment.

[Fugghetaboutit]

He's in a horrible phase - doesn't play, just throws toys everywhere so I'm constantly picking up stickle bricks and other little things, which can make me shout.
He hits me a lot too, and his dad. He's only 2, have I fucked him up?!
Today he was running up to other women and ignoring me then hugged a stranger - he never hugs me. Just feel shit today.

His attention span is so tiny too. He won't even sit for messy paint play or fun stuff like that, he sits - sticks his hands in the paint - runs off.

Sounds completely normal to me, but I can see how it would be very upsetting (DD isn't quite there yet, but has awful tantrums when she's tired). Someone with actual experience will be along shortly, I'm sure x

Thank you. He doesn't even tantrum that much anymore, he did that from 12 months and it's stopped a bit now.

It's just the constant throwing, hitting. I think he's bored a lot but I take him out twice a day - morning to playgroup/baby gym then afternoon outdoors in the park or woods. As soon as he's home he's destructive :(

He stopped napping at 19 months so I have him all day long to entertain. We do painting/play doh/magic sand in between outdoor stuff.
I'm sure he's tired but refuses to nap and in turn becomes so hyper towards the end of the day. I'm venting now.

You are not alone. I have an attitudey 3 year old and a generally very hard to please , teething 18 month old. Thank fuck for wine.

Sorry to hear that Earlie I keep hearing 3 is better

Yep... Get the picture

Will be easier when I go back to work :(

Don't take it personally or feel you have fucked up, this is fairly typical 2 year old behaviour and it's a hard slog!

Same here, I have a nearly 3 yr old and 18month old. It's constant noise, mess, moaning! I love when my 18 goes for her afternoon nap tho she doesn't get very long as her brother usually starts bloody screeching at the top of his voice. I feel like my days are filled with me constantly nagging.

Gosh it's hard isn't it? You are not alone. DD has had a day of throwing stuff, refusing to nap and shouting 'mummy you are not my friend, I do not want to play with you ANY MORE! Get in the kitchen.' She is like a tiny dictator.

We had hopes of going to the park or soft play to make her more reasonable but it's impossible when she won't get dressed or wear a nappy. Not long till bedtime!

It all sounds perfectly normal to me, although it is exhausting!! My youngest is 3 and I spend my days picking up, fielding blows and being told that I'm the worst mummy EVER!! (Complete with kevin and perry style walk and huff) nothing is good enough, games are rubbish, food is crap, play times are few and far between.

All I can say is that he is my DS 4 and my other three all went through exactly the same thing....it does get better. Be kind to yourself, your baby loves you, he is just pushing and learning to articulate. I agree that I would much prefer "mum, I would rather not play with play doh today" to raging tantrums but it's part of the process.

When you can, out your feet up, leave the stickle bricks on the floor and have a glass of wine/cup of tea. Your doing a wonderful job ??

19 months is early to drop a nap, sympathies. I would have killed DD if she'd done that Could you build some quiet time into the middle of the day, early afternoon? is there anything that keeps him calm? for restless DD it's me reading to her, she'll climb into my lap and cuddle while I read endless books. Or lie on the floor and listen to music? the same(ish) thing, at the same(ish) time every day, even in the same part of the house, might help him (and you!) to cope with the long day.

Also...let him do some stuff in his own, you don't need to entertain him the while time you are home...give him a big jigsaw or even some TV time, allow yourself some time to recharge a bit. Sometimes too much activity crammed into a day can be too much for them.
When DS4 starts with the hitting and shouting, I pick him up and put him in his brothers room until he stops...usually 3-5 minutes. He usually comes back through and plays quietly for a bit (like 5 mins but still!!)

What happens if you put him down to nap....screamerama? My -7 month old would be vile with no naps...she still has two a day.

17 month old :)

Thank you for the sympathy, he finally went to bed at 8pm after being up from 7am so a long day.

I can't leave stuff on the floor it makes me really antsy!

rooty thank you for the sympathy it's so unfair!! Yes we do have quiet time sometimes and I put him in his cot with a bottle and he chats away in dim light for 10/15 mins then starts yelling to get up. I think I will make this an everyday thing to chill him.

Witchy I really don't entertain him all day I promise (I actually think I'm pretty shit sometimes) I'll let him play a lot while I have a tea and watch some trash. He won't leave me alone though right now or I'll have to jump up to do something or other get him out of the oven

I do see that it looks like I do though, from my post. But he was really good at playing on his own up until this week.

You're doing well - it's really hard! Sensible thoughts above... I think one key thing is to be super consistent while he gets through this. So, with quiet time idea, just make sure it's every day (within reason - not if you have to go to a wedding or something).

Same with bedtime - 8pm is really late! Start early, do everything in the same order, every day. They do crave the boundaries, they just don't know it yet. But once you have the fixed routine (mine are in bed by 7pm - they are a bit older - it takes about an hour so we start at 6) it makes everybody so much happier!

sympathies - i'll charge my beer to you - very tired child fell asleep this evening before we changed her for bed, but the changing process (had to be done - her nappy stank ) woke her up and then she spent the next hour or so crying because she couldn't get her peppa pig painting game to work and she wouldn't let me help her.
eventually, she decided that she wanted the other game, that never goes wrong and is happily playing it.
yes, it's now 9:47 and she's no longer tired.
and she was up at 9 this morning, fresh as a daisy after having 6 hours' sleep (after 5 days of fuck all sleep).
I've got match sticks holding up my eyes and feel like throwing every possession i own against the wall and swearing like a sailor, but instead, i tried to calm her down. (of, it's so hard calming a toddler down when you just want to scream "oh for fuck's sake, DD, just fucking stop it!"

Thanks for the advice, appreciated.

Re bedtime, we start at 6.30 having a bath then come down and put pjs on (he now screams and hates being dressed and fights with all his will trying to run away) then a couple of books then into cot to sleep around 7.30pm

He used to be brilliant and would go to sleep straight away. Now he cries and yells as he wants to come out and runs into the living room. Hence why it was 8 before he went down. It's far too late considering he didn't nap. Maybe he should have an earlier bath as he's overtired by then and gets his second wind?

DD (27mo) has (and has done for two years) dinner at 5, bath (not every night) when that's finished, so usually 5.30 - 6. Then PJs, stories, milk, teeth and bed by 7. She definitely needs wind down time post bath. This is with a 90 minute nap after lunch.

Quiet time sounds good - lights down in cot for fifteen or 30 mins at the same time every day might build into something more napping again. I've remembered too that DD was relaxed by time being pushed about in her pram. Happened in due course as we lived in the city and didn't run a car. When we moved, and that changed, she got really overstimulated and I worked out, that was why. Being strapped in and watching the world go by was really nice for her. So I started doing walks to nowhere, for her sake, just a wee tootle.

He sometimes falls asleep in the buggy on the way back from playgroup or if we are driving. I do think he's over stimulated. Going to try quiet time today. He gets impatient being in the buggy and starts moaning :(

fugg your not shit at it! ?? Mickey mouse playhouse has had far too much airtime in my house (I used it to babysit far too much)

Be kind to yourself, it's exhausting and it doesn't last forever...your doing a great job

Thanks witch

He's always been a high maintenance kid. V anxious at parties and busy places etc I'm always the one who leaves first.

Re reading books as someone said earlier, he likes being read to before bed but during the day he's not interested and won't sit for one! I take him to the library sometimes and he ignores the books completely. I guess he is young still.