Doula

[MissTwister]

I am thinking of getting a doula for when I give birth in July and was wondering whether anyone here has any advice on the matter for example was the experience good or maybe any tips for hiring one?

I'm keen as I feel I don't have a clue what I am doing and want someone who does! My husband is open to looking but less keen.

If anyone has any recommendations for one in South East London too then let me know!!

Did anyone use one at all!?

Yes! We met a couple first and went with the one we both got on with and could imagine having with us at the birth.

She was brilliant. Money v well spent. Came to ours 4 times before the birth, helped me compile a birth plan, came up with great ideas that wouldn't have occurred to us otherwise. Then was on call for four weeks around the due date.

On the night I started having contractions she came over, kept us all calm (esp DH!) and helped me through that stage of labour. She encouraged me to labour as much as poss at home, so I got to hospital almost fully dilated. She stayed all way through, helping me and midwife, helped me BF etc.

Best decision we made. Of course I could have just been lucky but I had no interventions just gas and air - the stats do suggest that having a doula makes a difference if an intervention-light birth is what you want.

My DH was also sceptical but was sold when he saw the stats. He wants to hire her for the next DC (if we have one).

I had a doula and she saw me through a very long and difficult labour. She was also a trained midwife and saw me regularly through the last week of my pregnancy. I trusted her completely and she made what could have been a horrible experience into something positive and that I feel proud of.

She really helped my husband too, he took some convincing but was so pleased she was there as he was quite scared and she reassured him as well as taking some of the pressure off him.

I would recommend her in a heartbeat although unfortunately she isn't local to you.

Thanks both, very helpful. Can I ask you where you found them - did you just email people and then 'interview'?

Yes, I just googled doula and my town then checked their websites/credentials and emailed them. One was an NCT doula, the other was a trainee - which is the one we went for, she was one birth away from qualifying. Check out the organisation Doula UK too. We made up a list of questions to ask when we 'interviewed', I think I googled those too..

Thank you!

I can't imagine giving birth for the first time without a doula! Mine was amazing. There's a long labor period before you get to the hospital, and without a doula you're fending for yourself during that time.

Interviewing was definitely hard because I didn't really know what I was looking for, but really it's all about personality. Just chat to them and find someone you like, feel comfortable with, and can be totally transparent with. You also might have some idea if you'd prefer someone who's more chill or more take-charge.

Maymow - can I ask what advice your doula gave? I'm interested to know how they differ in approach and practice to midwives.

I'm due in a few days and depending how birth goes my hire one next time.

A lot of her advice was about practical stuff eg effect certain interventions might have on BF immediately afterwards, how best to be assertive in the birth plan, working through what we wanted eg DH to discover and announce gender. I found her pointers more helpful than NCT where they try to be very neutral about everything. And much more pro an intervention-light birth than I expect hospital midwives might be.

But she also got suggested things I would never have contemplated or even heard of, like getting the placenta made into a smoothie....!

Agree with CursiveLetters that the biggest positive was having help during the long early stage at home - DH and I would have rushed to hospital much sooner otherwise.