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So fed up!

3 replies

Day1970 · 20/02/2015 08:51

I was really looking forward to half term, my husband travels a lot and is away this week which means i have the children all to myself, to do whatever we want to and how we want to - lovely. However as usual it hasnt panned out that way. My son is 9, my daughter is 7 and all they do is bicker, argue and fight. They start off playing nicely together then it just escalates until i hear screaming and crying etc. So i planned some fun things for us to do, to take us out of the house (i try and space these, in the past we have done too many 'fun' things leaving me knackered and the kids constantly whining 'What are we doing next' with their expectations levels far too high). We went bowling, my son threw a strop because he lost both games, making the whole trip out miserable for us all. We went roller skating, my daughter decided to get a miserable face on her and not join in because she didnt like the games (musical bumps, tag) that they were playing from time to time. We do low key things like take the scooters out when walking the dog and one or other child throws a toddler tantrum over something. In short non of this is fun or a pleasure, it is not even the end of half term and i cannot wait for them to be back at school!
Last night i gave them a lecture on just joining in and going with the flow, appreciating the time we have together etc. How else do i get the point across. Was going to take them to the swimming pool which has a giant inflatable in it, but if they are to fight and end up with miserable faces i'll save the money and the effort thank you!
I think because my mum always worked when i was little, it frustrates me that they dont know how lucky they are to have me self employed and able to take all this time off to plan and do things with them
Anyway, moan over.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ch1134 · 20/02/2015 09:56

Do they need to be entertained so much? Could you get them to invite a friend round to play/ cycle/ go to the park? Then maybe they'll be invited back and you can have time with just one or the other of them.

Day1970 · 20/02/2015 10:43

They appear to need constant entertainment, despite the fact they have each other. I tried the friend thing but someone we were suppose to meet yesterday said her children were too tired, and everyone else seems to have a fun packed full half term agenda planned!!!!
Today we are staying in, i have had some gravel delivered to fill the bare patches and pot holes in the driveway and both of them will be out there helping me do it and to be fair they are always quite keen to lend a hand! I just dont know how to get them to be a bit more grateful for the opportunities they are given? Like i said i have scaled back outings and activities so they can appreciate them more when we do them but that hasnt worked?
I mentioned to them that they arent expected to enjoy everything, and be happy all the time, but if they arent enjoying something just sit it out, have a drink and dont ruin it for everyone else, come to accept that there are things in life they wont enjoy but to give it a go and not get a miserable face on, and stomp about like giant toddlers.

OP posts:
squizita · 20/02/2015 10:50

I wonder if it's too much "organised fun". That very structured out of tge house stuff might be tiring them as mist kids are grumpy and tired at the end of a school term. They then act out even at fun things if theres lots of travel and structure. As PP says, maybe organise something really relaxed and basic? Grin

When I was training in one of my many childcare roles (Holiday club manager, acting tutor, play worker, coach, TA, teacher, pastoral ... I forget which) someone said "kids don't know the boredom/effort you've put into the background - only what they get out of it. Only YOU do, which gets YOU frustrated. If they learn/enjoy something dead easy to set up, use that!" The time/effort equivalent of discarding the toy and playing with the box! Grin
The last thing you want is you tired and angry and them tired and feeling obliged to fake fun as you've made such sacrifices.

Just take it easy - you being there during something easy like a trip to the swings or a film afternoon under a duvet is a gift in itself.

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