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Anyone have difficulty 'connecting' with one or other of their DC at times?

2 replies

Asleeponasunbeam · 19/02/2015 21:20

And do you have any helpful advice for dealing with it? I'm having a phase like this with my 5 yo DD at the moment and feeling very down.

I have had counselling before about how I relate to her, but can't afford it at the moment so am struggling alone a little. She is loving, curious, playful and very sensitive and demanding - I feel like I don't have enough to give in terms of fun, cuddles, just being there. It's all about the practicalities and mundane stuff. Although I obviously try hard not to let it show, her constant need for cuddling and touching irritates me. I find times in the day just for her - always stories and bedtime routines, for example - but a lot of the time I just feel cross and overwhelmed.

We spent a weekend away together last year, just the two of us, which was great and we're trying to organise doing that again. I do love her so much, but worry that I don't show her that properly. She'd much rather live with my mum (who has just been to stay - we live too far away to see her often).

I don't have these difficulties with her 2.5 yo brother, which of course makes me feel even worse as a mother.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Asleeponasunbeam · 20/02/2015 07:14

I think I need to find the time and money to go back to my counsellor. The thought of this whole day ahead of us together today (with DS) is making me feel anxious. How awful.

OP posts:
LionWings · 20/02/2015 07:42

Have you heard about the Incredible Years parenting course? There is also a book. It's a great, positive program which is play based. Basically you play with your child for at least 10 minutes a day, and are given lots of coaching in terms of how to play, what to stay etc. It's all about building security and trust which it sounds like your DD needs. It's a really supportive course and I would definitely recommend it. I'm sure you're doing a great job. No one teaches us to how parent!

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