Do you spend less money in early months with a baby?

[UsernamesHarderThanBabyNames]

Our first baby is due in a few months and we're trying to plan our our finances. I'm self-employed so not entitled to much in the way of maternity pay but am aiming to save enough to not work at all for approx four months, and then start gradually doing stuff from home. DH will continue working full-time.
I'm convinced our outgoings will go way down when we have a new baby but DH thinks life will be just as expensive in different ways. Starting to worry a bit as it's definitely going to be tight.
We live in London (zone 3) and our household outgoings (mortgage plus bills plus food plus a couple of hundred a month set aside for other household purchases/emergencies/a couple of dinners out) are around £2400 a month. At present we contribute equally to this as we earn about the same. When the baby comes DH will pay about two thirds of this and I'll pay in about £800 a month from money I've been saving since getting preg.
But surely my personal costs - oystercard, buying lunch (and sometimes breakfast) most days when working, general "having a life" - will go way down, DH's will go down a bit too (less socialising) and the extra costs of a new baby won't be nearly as much as these (especially as we're being given a lot of hand me downs in terms of baby essentials and clothes)? Am I being naive? Basically, I'm nosily asking those of you at home with newborns, do you spend more money or less money than before you had a baby?

hmm. I didn't actually work this out, but there are some costs that you might not have thought of. As you'll be at home all day, you are bound to have higher electricity/gas bills, and water bills as you may find yourself doing more frequent washes. You may also find yourself needing to get things that you hadn't anticipated due to the quirks of your baby e.g. my DS hated the moses basket so the money spent on that was a waste, and we had to buy another type of cot for daytime naps downstairs. There were other things that we didn't think we'd need that we did e.g. we bought an electric breast pump at short notice. I suppose I could have tried to find one to hire, but I didn't know you could hire them at that point in time!

Have you factored in the cost of nappies - will you be getting washable cloth nappies? Disposable nappies and wipes is a fair chunk of money.

I get full maternity pay luckily but I hav found I soend considerably less

You're right about coffee, hairstyles, eating out.

I don't spend as much on petrol (30 less a week) tend to cook from scratch more. Stopped wasting money on magazines (I used to nip into my car at lunchtime and get a sandwich coffee and mag)

Baby groups are really cheap. Clothes - I tend to stick to a few black jumpers and that until I get into shape. Dress up with scarves.

A lot less money for sure. You will get presents too so you don't spend all that much. Child benefit covers nappies etc.

I don't buy calpol but paracetamol from b&m, when whining baby no jars but lentils, sweet potatoes etc.

I do love coffee shop visits but as I am dieting I make scrambled egg at home and just get a black coffee out.

If you are going to b'feed you will save loads more. Congrats

Are you near aldi ? Their washing powder and nappies are brilliant. You could srock up. I don't bother with non bio and use the green box

I certainly found that I spent less when I wasn't working; not having to buy lunch/breakfast/travel/go out for drinks etc massively cut my costs down.

However, I did make up for it in buying baby clothes. They're cute!

Thanks, this is all really helpful. Yes, I think DH's concern is that I'll go crazy on the baby clothes front...

I spent a lot less simply by not having to pay for travel, shop lunches and odd nights out.

The main costs were nappies, wipes and formula (if you use it). Clothes I didn't spend much on either, neither for me nor for the baby. You're better off just buying supermarket and Primark etc babygrows because they can get stained very easily, and ditto your clothes. Yes, if you lose baby weight you might want some new clothes for you, but if you're planning on going back to work I'd just get some basic clothes again for somewhere cheap to last the year, and not spend too much until you might need to buy some new work clothes.

As you're at home all day you can hopefully do cheaper food, as you will hopefully have a bit more time to cook - obviously that's dependent on what your baby is like, but fingers crossed after the first month or two you'll find your baby will sit in a bouncer for a little while a watch you, or you become an expert at cooking in a sling.

The main outgoings for me were baby groups, coffee and cake But they're not much.

We spend far less on luxuries / going out than we used to, and agree commuting costs have halved now I am at home with our twins (now 9 months), but there are lots of additional costs.

In the early days I ended up buying quite a lot of unexpected kit - double breast pump, various bottles for EBM, bf tops, a rocking chair.

Now they are FF we spend a lot on that, and I spend a lot more on groceries now they're weaning because I want to give them a really varied diet.

Our bills have doubled - we use an inordinate amount of water (sterilising, making bottles, bathing the babies daily, washing hands incessantly) and our washing machine is on pretty much twice a day, tumble drier too. Also, I eat out at lunchtime a lot - it sounds extravagant but it's a lovely thing to do with the babies, who are both v sociable.

Classes don't cost a fortune, many children's centres run them for free. As for things like calpol, well, you can get that free from the Care At The Chemist scheme. Just register at your nearest one.

I also spent quite a bit on a really good, long waterproof coat. It was worth it because I am out and about daily whatever the weather.

We spend less. But not as little as we thought. A lot depends on how much you want to do and what you want to do. Sure start baby clubs, second hand clothes and picnics are really cheap. Nice lunches with friends, coffee and play at soft play, new clothes/kit aren't. We definitely eat out in the evening less but get take aways and Sunday lunches out more. I worked from home so didn't imagine out fuel bills would go up but they did-I obviously feel the cold more post birth!
We save on things like clothes and make up for me. I used to be quite picky about make up, now I buy it at the supermarket! . Clothes I get with comfort and ease of washing/hiding stains in mind. Sad but true.
Our food bills have gone up quite a lot. I used to have much more time/energy for cooking from scratch and wouldn't have dreamed of buying ready prepared fruit, pre prepped stir fry veg and sauce, jarred pesto or tinned soup but I do now.
It's like so many things, you can spend a fortune (and I mean an absolute fortune) on baby things but up to a point it's as expensive as you have the time/energy/means to make it.

Bills went up and there was an initial spend on kit. Our supermarket spending has gone up dramatically (esp spending on formula and nappies and , later, weaning stuff) but overall we found our outgoings went down. Have the occasional lunch out and do stuff with the baby but went out in the evening far far less and tended not to do anything expensive at weekends. Nct sales and ebay very good for finding cheap, nearly new clothes for baby.

We spend much less as I rarely have to drive anywhere, don't buy lunch etc like when I was at work, we rarely eat out or have alcohol. Also I find I just don't have as much interest (or the time) in spending money on myself. I was given the impression having a baby costs a fortune but that's only because our idea of what is 'essential' is often a bit mad and varies depending on you, your baby and your situation. We keep costs down by getting almost everything second hand, I get everything from eBay, charity shops and NCT sales. Freecycle is also a good thing to sign up for as people often give baby stuff away. Buy as little as possible before the baby comes (especially if you're likely to be given gifts, ds1 was pretty much kitted out in presents for the first 6months) and once it is born wait until you definitely know you need something - one of the few things we bought new when ds1 was 2wks old was a pushchair because we thought that was essential as everyone seems to have one but we've only used it about 5 times (ds2 hasn't even ever been in it) because I find using a sling easier. Run every purchase past oh because they tend to be a bit less won over by tiny booties etc and will point out when you are wasting money! Good luck :)

I spent more on maternity than when working. I had no commuting costs which makes a difference. I spent more on food, heat and electric. On top of that baby milk, nappies etc add up very quickly without weaning. Then there's baby clothes and toys. Socialising went up as I went out and about more.

I spent around the same.
Breastfed - free.
Dressed baby in hand-me-downs and gifts.
Nappies from supermarkets rather than branded.
Have friends round rather than going for coffee.

I spent less. Travel costs, lunch, going out (ever!), wine etc.

But you will spend more on heating and lighting the house all day, will buy coffees and cake instead of lunch and also spend on nappies and other baby paraphernalia!

I found I spent more. Our gas and electricity bills went up significantly (winter baby), petrol went up as a travelled a lot to see NCT friends (lived rurally), more coffees/lunches out with friends, and I had an awful habit of ordering things on amazon in the middle of the night during feeds that I was convinced would make my life easier (make baby sleep, not cry etc!). It really depends how you spend your mat leave though. We also still socialised a fair bit in the early days as DD was very portable. We started to spend less when she started going to bed at 7 and only napping in her cot as it made going out anywhere more difficult.

I spent less on mat leave - but not loads less I'm afraid to say! No lunches out, magazines , less socialising , more time to an meals etc BUT more on heating & electricity , more on petrol and some on baby things- not everything can be 'hand me downs'.... Like you I saved a big proof to mat leave and used it to get by- no savings left now though! Enjoy your baby in amongst the sleep deprivation x

Less on many things, like you say no commuting and very few evenings out!
Baby groups are cheaper than I thought, there's loads of free stuff - check the local library and sure start centre for free activities
Bumdeal is a nappy price comparison site, sounds funny but you can save so much using this site, I really recommend it.
We got loads more gifts than I thought, try not to go mad on clothes buying as they might be born bigger than you think and grow like crazy
Washing puts the bills up. As does heating, but sounds like you're having a spring / summer baby so I guess that might be ok.
There'll be things you never thought of e.g. I thought I'd be bfing but I couldn't so didn't anticipate the formula costs, also wasted money on bf scarf etc. Your baby might love or hate swaddles, Moses basket, etc so try to do things as cheaply as possible if you can. Free cycle and Facebook selling sites are your friend. All the best

We used the car more, so petrol costs went up even if the daily commute cst went down.

I spent the 'work lunch/coffee' money on chocolate, coffees out and little things to cheer myself up after another sleepless night

If you meal plan, cook ahead and freeze etc you'll be smart - we spent shit loads on takeaways in the first month or two.

My spending on clothes went right down, though. And I didnt go mad on clothes for the baby, as it was winter and he as just in plain babygrows and a sleepsuit for a few months.

I saved money in the first few months, I bf for the most part, accepted all hand me downs thankfully, picked up what I could second hand (fb kids buy and sell pages are full of stuff) and didn't go mad an buying loads of stuff!!

Babies really don't need a lot imo, nappies esp new born ones are quite cheap.

I wasted money on an expensive pram, in hindsight should have just got a decent sling and then a nice but not crazy expensive pram/ buggy.

Also def savings made as I wasn't having nights out, used less petrol, bought less clothes, didn't make it to the hairdressers for about 6 months you get the idea!

I didn't spend much at all on baby clothes, we were given so much. But I found all the additional extras added up - breastpads, nipple cream, maternity pads, nappy cream, nappies, wipes, extra electricity, water and gas from being at home all day. Etc etc...

You can reduce the costs now by cooking lots of meals for the freezer, and stocking up all the stuff above while you have time to shop around for good deals rather than waiting until you are desperate and would willingly spend any amount on the single tube of nipple cream left in mothercare instead of getting it much cheaper online.

I reckon I spent less. We of course ate out less and drank less as a couple.

I breastfed exclusively to 6 months so that was cheap.

I bought baby clothes and I had to get a lot of new clothes for me (I hadn't realised when pregnant how important boob accessible clothes/bras are when breastfeeding!). Plus I didn't want to feel frumpy so I did buy clothes :)

But I didn't need a season ticket (we are zone 3 too) but I did spend on travel / oyster pay as you go for getting the bus and train on days out.

I also ate lunch out a couple of times a week with my NCT/other mum friends. And there was no way I would have wanted to miss out on that because it was a real lifeline when maternity leave can get tough.

I also spent on baby groups and toys. Baby groups are free a lot of the time but I paid for baby sensory which was fairly pricy. It was fun but I totally could have done without it!

But we spent loads in the run up to the baby coming - new car, kitting out nursery, monitor, clothes, pram, car seat etc. But we did that with two wages coming in so that was better!

Will you and DH have a joint account so you can access money? I know you will have savings but when you don't have a wage coming in you need to be able to access cash yourself a lot, you don't want to be asking him for cash so you can buy coffee/cake.

Obviously lots of up front costs getting the kit you need, but I ebf and used reusable wipes and aldi nappies, didn't buy clothes cos bf, had lots of picnics and coffee at friends rather than lunches out so first 6 months was pretty budget. Once dd turned 6 mo costs did go up, weather got colder, food I wouldn't buy for myself for her, gifts of clothes reduced...

Hey, as a fellow self employed person with no maternity pay (a ni class 2 exemption last year meant I haven't even got the minimal maternity allowance I was anticipating, and my key client decided not to renew my contract for the coming year) my husband and I are now living in private rented accommodation in London on one salary (£32k)

I haven't purchased anything for the baby, beside a great pram a steel on Ebay and a sling (marsupi £47 on Amazon, German brand, great comfort, can be worn by me and husband) and breast pump kit.
Frecycle led to clothes a plenty ( two people gave me all I'll need from new born to six months) crib, car seat, and I expect to source most stuff from there over coming months. Only shoes need to be new and I've a while before then.

I exchanged gift clothes for 9month plus sizes. In hindsight I'd have asked people who asked if there was anything we'd like, to put money towards swim classes, DS will start those at six weeks and each session is £15, it's the one activity I really want us to do so the child benefit will pay for that.

Food and supplements cost have gone up, since I'm eating more, but since I'm still not drinking that's a saving -right!-

Nappies- I've gone for reusables- using bum genius flip covers over Muslins for up until 11lb and then flip inserts for after that. I recieved a voucher from the local council for £57 off nappies, and birth to potty nappy system is less than £350 all in (plus extra laundry cost)
But my mum picked up a whole bunch of my prefered system nappies from frecycle, so so far I've spent just the voucher.
And I think they are great, easy and nice.

My main entertainment costs now are coffee and cake. Motivation for the two hour long daily walks with baby in sling cos he won't stop crying.
If he was born in summer I probably could go with out, but it's grim out.

One thing we did to save money was to buy bags of clothes off of Gumtree. We got binbags full of barely used clothes, babygrows, sleepers for £20 or £30 each time. A quick wash and they were good as new. Clothing costs go up as they get older because it's rare to find second hand toddler clothes with knees still intact!

Your method of bill division doesn't sound fair.

You shouldn't be putting in more than your % share of income.

Ie add up your mat pay + dh wage. Calculate each as a % of the total. If dhs is say 80% of the total then he should be paying 80% of your total living expenses.

If you will get child benefit then this can be a seperate mount to go on baby things eg clothes/equipment,

As to the question, have you bought all the baby equipment in advance? Even the things you don't need until a few months in eg weaning stuff, lightweight 6m+ stroller, 1+ car seat, teething stuff, older toys, high chair.

The ongoing everyday expenses of nappies etc can easily add £10pwk onto supermarket bills.

It also depends how active & sociable you intend to be. Do you know local mums? Will you want to travel to meet friends. It can be a very lonely life stuck in with a baby so you may need to spend more to get out and about to preserve your mental health.

Coffees, cakes, softplays, swimming, baby classes all add up but aren't going to be as much as 2 meals out a month which you won't be doing for a while!

What about baby sitting costs? If you have to pay someone it's very expensive.

It really does depend on so many things.

I agree with lollygagger- take advantage of second hand clothes in the first year as they become more scarce as children walk and growth slows so they actually get some wear out of them. We got a fantastic bundle of stuff off e bay, £40 and was practically all of the clothes (including coats) ds needed for 6 months.
It isn't only shoes that need to be new, car seats and mattresses also need to be new. Most other stuff we got second hand.
I did go a bit mad with the nursery though- that's easy to do with your first i think.